


Finding Sofia

by Hypnobyl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, mtf!Henry, trans!Henry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:39:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 51,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4114222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypnobyl/pseuds/Hypnobyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sofia, née Henry, discovers herself and fights monsters--but that's nothing new in Storybrooke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is currently being written piecemeal as people ask for more on Tumblr. There is no definite update schedule because of this, but it will be completed. The first few chapters will be made available shortly, but from then on, updates will be sporadic.

Henry stares in the mirror. At seventeen years old, she is tall and lean–-an aftereffect of her preference for reading adventures rather than having them. She has shaved the bumpy, uneven stubble from her chin but can already see the damned hairs poking back through. Her gaze drifts down her figure, and she worries yet again that she doesn’t look like a woman but rather a man in a dress. Maybe this is a mistake, she considers. Maybe she still has time to pull the sundress off and dress in slacks and a polo.

“Henry?”

She flushes bright red but steels herself; opening the door, she defiantly meets her mother’s gaze. “Yeah, mom?”

Regina takes a single moment to take in Henry’s new appearance–-the silence weighs on Henry, and she begins to wonder what she’ll do when her mother rejects her. The tense moment passes, however, and Regina asks, “What do you want me to call you?”

Having expected a fight, Henry is speechless for a moment. She clears her throat–-coming to terms with this has taken too many sleepless nights and too many showers filled with burning hot water and self-doubt. The idea that her mother will simply accept this and move forward just seems anticlimactic. “Uh…”

Regina’s lips purse. “Remind me this weekend that we need to go shopping.”

“Shopping?”

“That dress is not suitable for my child. Where did you get it? The thrift store?”

She blushes harder. “I didn’t want–-well, yes.”

“We’re going shopping,” Regina repeats. She watches Henry closely. “You never answered my question.”

Shyly, she murmurs, “What would you have named a daughter?”

“Sofia.”

She shrugs. “That’s good, I think.”

“Very well. Breakfast is on the table.” Regina turns to head back downstairs. “If anything should happen at school today, let me know. I’ll take care of it.”

By the time she makes it downstairs, she’s already feeling much better about everything. She says her new name over in her head a few times and decides that she likes the way Sofia sounds. Being Sofia feels odd but no odder than having a boy’s name and a boy’s body. She races down the stairs, swirls around the banister, and crashes to a halt in the dining room. Emma glances up from her bowl of cereal and stares. The same worry that had attacked Sofia earlier comes back in the form of a lump in her throat.

“Uh, kid…?”

She grits her teeth and nods. “Yeah, Ma?”

“Did you know you’re wearing a dress?”

“Yes.”

“Henry--“

“Her name is Sofia,” Regina interrupts. She enters from the kitchen and sets a plate of pancakes down. Emma silences under Regina’s intense scrutiny.

“Thanks, Mom.” Sofia slides onto a chair and scoops several pancakes onto her plate. She wants to tell Emma that she’s still the same old kid she’s always been, but the words remain locked in her throat. There’s something about Emma’s tense demeanor that doesn’t invite conversation.

“Would you like to get extensions?” Regina runs her fingers through Sofia’s hair. “Anything to make the transition quicker and more comfortable?”

Eyes still on Emma, she shrugs. “I’m not really sure--“

“You damn well better be sure.” Emma stares hard at her. “Have you thought this through, kid?”

Every night for the past three years, Sofia wants to say. Instead, the words flounder in her throat, and she sits flummoxed by Emma’s aggression. “Uh-“

“I can’t deal with this right now.” Emma stands, but Regina catches her arm.

“You will not treat our daughter like this,” Regina hisses. “I don’t care what your previous ideas or opinions were, you will adjust and accept her as she is.”

“It’s not him that bothers me.” Emma winces. “I mean her.”

“Then what? You of all people should understand what it feels like to be different than what others expect of you.”

“Being different sucks,” Emma snaps. She jerks out of Regina’s grip. “Everyone else bothers me–-the kids at school who are gonna make her feel like shit–-that’s who bothers me.”

“So make her feel safe at home.”

Emma glances back at Sofia and shakes her head. “Kid, I just–-I need some time, okay?”

She drops her gaze to her pancakes and nods slowly. This reaction is more on par with her expectations. She wishes that she had just put the slacks and polo on. “It’s cool…”

Regina waits until Emma has stalked away before sitting next to Sofia and placing a hand on her forearm. “She--“

“Doesn’t understand. I didn’t either... Not for a long time. I didn’t want this, and I’m sorry, but--“

“Don’t apologize.” Regina stiffens. “As you might recall from your book, I spent most of my younger years doing as I was commanded. I repressed who I wanted to be in favor of being who and what I was told. The damage wrought by so many years of being someone other than myself has taken years to overcome.”

“It’s not like I’d go all evil queen,” Sofia mutters, but a smile creeps over her lips.

“Just to clarify–-you do wish to be addressed as female, correct?”

Sofia nods. “I–-yes. Please.”

“Then hold your head high. Demand the respect you deserve.”

“Even from Ma?”

“Especially from your mother.” Regina shifts the syrup closer to Sofia before standing once more. “I’m going to talk with her. We’re both on your side, my dear. Don’t forget that. Ms. Swan simply needs a reminder.”

“She probably hasn’t had to deal with this before,” Sofia offers. She thinks about how black and white the world had seemed to her four years earlier, and now she’s trying to see things from another’s perspective. She wonders how much of this is growth of her character, and how much is a direct reflection of her changing awareness of herself. “I get it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

0-0-0

Regina finds Emma on the back porch, a mug of steaming coffee cradled in Emma’s hands. She stands for a moment and determines what she will say that will have the greatest desired effect. Although she usually condescends to those around her, especially when those others fail to understand a simple concept, she realizes that Emma will in no way respond well to being talked down to. If she wants Emma to listen, she needs to listen as well.

“That could have gone better,” she says finally.

Emma sips her coffee and continues staring out at the yard. “Yeah, probably.”

“Would you care to tell me why you refuse to act like a decent human being?”

“He’s going to get hurt. She.” Emma furrows her brow.

“We all get hurt no matter what, Emma.” Regina approaches slowly and removes the mug from Emma’s hands. She sets it on the ground at their feet and straightens once more. “No matter how many precautions you take, you will inevitably receive injury.”

“Yeah, well, some things come with injury pre-built in. I get it. The kid’s gotta be who she’s gotta be, but high school is awful enough."

“This is no longer your childhood,” Regina cuts in with quiet determination. “You’ve never spoken at any length about how you grew up, but the way you’re reacting right now says more than you ever have.”

“Can’t she just wait ‘til college?” Emma rubs her forehead before Regina pulls her into a loose embrace. “You don’t know high school, Regina. She should just wait it out and then make a clean transition once she’s on her way to college. Nobody there will know her as anything but Sofia.”

“There are mean-spirited and cruel people everywhere.” Regina swallows roughly. “I know because I was once one of them. However, you will not ask our daughter to hide herself for the comfort of a small number of children who would wish her harm.”

“You just don’t get it,” Emma strains to say. “I spent a lot of time on the street as a kid. Sometimes between foster homes I’d run away because I thought I could take care of myself better than any of the horrible places the state sent me. You know who else is homeless? Too many queer kids. I thought my shit was bad, but after listening to some of their stories… People in this world are shitty, Regina, and I don’t want–-I can’t have our kid go through that.”

“This is her life, Emma.” Regina pulls away and stares at Emma earnestly. “Sofia will be whoever she is, and it’s our job as parents to support her, no matter what we may think or fear. She is heading off to school today with or without a kind word from you. Which would you rather she remember?”

Emma reaches down and grabs her coffee mug. The contents are nearly empty, she notes, which is a real pity. She’d be able to process faster if the news had broken sometime after lunch. “I still say it’d be easier…”

“This isn’t about doing what is easiest. This is about doing what our daughter needs.”

“How can you just do that? That kid was your son for seventeen years, and now, out of the blue, he’s your daughter, and you don’t even question him about it?”

“You will use her preferred gender, Emma, or you will be sleeping on the couch.”

“I haven’t known him nearly as long as you, and I’m struggling. I want this to be alright, and I want to do what she needs, but it’s gonna take a bit for my brain to catch up. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Sofia is still my child, regardless of anything else. I adapt as is required because she means more to me now than ever before. We rarely get second chances, Emma, so I truly do recommend you step inside and congratulate your daughter on her courage.”

Emma scuffs her shoe against the ground, her mind churning. While she does want to support her kid, she isn’t sure she can encourage Sofia to be genuine. She still has scars along her thighs where older kids had extinguished their cigarettes. Although the bruises have faded, she is able, with her eyes closed, to recall the pain of their hands on her shoulders as they pinned her to the cement. Telling Sofia to go to school and be herself feels like sending her to undue punishment. Emma hesitates further; a good parent, she thinks, would protect her child. Instead, the pressure upon her is urging her to let Sofia place herself in harm’s way.

“I want her to be herself,” she says finally, “but I don’t want her to become a joke. Why can’t she dress like she wants here but dress like a boy at school? Just for now, I mean.”

Regina shakes her head slowly. “You need to get this through your skull, Ms. Swan. Requiring her to maintain a male identity will do much more harm than good.”

“You sound like you researched this.” Emma flounders to change the subject. She gets the strong feeling that Regina is assured of how wrong she is, and she simply wants to converse about something easier.

“As I was collecting Sofia’s laundry two weeks ago, I found a pair woman’s underwear.”

“He could have had a girlfriend.”

“I did consider that possibility, but I am aware of what transpires under my roof. There was no female friend, only Sofia.” Regina shrugs. “I performed an internet search, confirmed my theory, and then waited until she was ready to tell me.”

Emma runs a hand through her hair. “This is just so confusing-“

“If you feel this way, then you ought to imagine how she feels.”

0-0-0

Sofia stares down at her pancakes and dissects them with her fork. She can hear low voices from the back porch, but she does her best not to listen to them. She glances at the stairs and contemplates changing before she leaves for school, but she makes herself stay at the table. She has nearly gone to school like this four times in the past two weeks, but each incident ended with tears, fury, and doubt. Now that Regina and Emma know, she’s not willing to let herself back down.

No matter how disappointed Emma is, Sofia likes to think that she’ll make Emma proud in the long run. She hasn’t inherited much from Emma, but she knows she’s got Emma’s passion and dedication. Although they both may dance around a topic for ages in indecision, once committed, they both apply one hundred percent of their efforts. She jabs her fork into her pancakes and, despite having no appetite, chews and swallows.

She is doing this, she reminds herself, so she is going to stand tall her with her chin up–-no matter what happens that day. Even if her friends poke fun--the sudden need to vomit overwhelms her. She leaps to her feet and sprints to the bathroom. Crouching over the toilet, she heaves up her breakfast and then leans against the cool porcelain until the anxiety recedes. She is capable of imagining each reaction with distinct detail, and she wonders if Regina will allow her to call in sick.

When she’s steady enough to stand, she wobbles back to the table just as Emma and Regina return from outside. The blonde plops down into a chair and folds her arms over her chest. She stares at Sofia, grunts as if on the verge of speaking, and then lets out a gust of air.

“I’m sorry, kid.”

“It’s okay,” Sofia responds. She can still taste the bile in her mouth, so she grabs her orange juice, sucks some into her mouth, and swishes the liquid between her cheeks before swallowing. She ducks her head lower, just in case she chickens out and wants to use illness as an excuse. Over the years, she has learned that an effective lie builds over time, and Regina will not believe the abrupt onset of the flu.

“No, it’s not.” Emma grimaces and fiddles with the napkin next to her plate. She tugs it onto her lap just so she has something to do with her nervous fingers. Thankfully, Regina is no longer loitering behind her. “I just want you to know that none of my shit is because of you, okay? I may mess up a few times with your name and pronouns, but I’m going to try my hardest for you.”

“Thanks.”

“When I was your age, some of my friends locked me in a boy’s bathroom and set off a stink bomb.” Emma doesn’t bother with much preamble. She looks at Sofia and hopes that her message is clear. “All that was different about me was I didn’t have nice clothing or a family. You’re going to school, to your classmates, with a whole lot more difference. And don’t get me wrong–-I am so glad you’re being true to yourself–-but every inch of me is antsy because I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.”

Sofia licks her lips and fights the nausea again. “That won’t happen to me.”

“Even if people suck, I don’t want that to change you,” Emma concludes. “If people are shitty, be shitty right back. I had no one, but you have me, and you have your mom. I let people beat the tar out of me because at least then they were looking at me. You fight back, kid.”

Sofia watches Emma’s face contort through a series of emotions. The blonde’s eyebrows bounce from furrowed to raised in seconds, and her mouth, when not forming words, quivers at the corners. Although Emma’s voice is mostly steady, Sofia detects a hint of a tremble on certain words. She listens to Emma and feels the tension in her gut solidifying. She denies that bullying will transpire, but fear sits heavily on her chest and makes breathing difficult.

Her friends may crack jokes, she tells herself, but they would never act maliciously. She can handle a joke or two, but she’s not sure she can deal with much more. Perhaps Emma was right before; perhaps she ought to wait until the end of high school to be herself. Going back to Henry would make her life so much simpler for now--

“All I mean,” Emma interrupts her thoughts, “is that people who matter will stick up for you. And me and your mom matter, right? So, we have you covered. Just in case. What’s that saying? Something about mind and matter.”

Regina takes a seat at the head of the table, although her breakfast is long since complete. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.”

Sofia coughs into her napkin, laying the groundwork for her illness should she require that excuse. She hates that saying, mostly because the words remind her that there is an inherent part of herself that others may dislike. She knows that this is the truth, but she wishes that her peers would have the same sort of response as Regina had. “I’m not really big on the idea of fighting someone…”

“I’m not saying you should do that,” Emma replies, although her tone sounds less certain. “I’m just saying that you can and should stick up for yourself. You’ve never had a problem doing that in the past.”

Previous issues hadn’t been so connected to her identity, she thinks as she stares down at her plate. Being vocal and noble now seems less appealing than any sort of activism she had displayed about the curse.

Regina eyes Sofia carefully and ascertains that her daughter's courage is waning. She notes the signs of a fake illness excuse, shakes her head slowly, and says, “I know you’re not sick. I will not force you to go to school if you don’t want to, but I think you should. You don’t have to hide or lie.”

Sofia meets Regina’s gaze. “If I call during the day, will you come pick me up?”

“Of course.”

“Okay.”

She stands and smiles, determined to see this thing through. The first day is the hardest, she thinks. If she can just get through one school day, then she can get through the rest. As Sofia excuses herself from the table to finish packing her bag, Emma darts for the upstairs, calling behind for Sofia to wait a moment before leaving.

She pulls on her sneakers and proceeds to wait as patiently as she can, all the while listening to Emma banging about on the second floor. Regina joins her and cocks an eyebrow.

“Would you like a new pair of shoes?”

She shifts her feet uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I sorta like these. Do I have to?”

“Only if you want to. I only offer in case you do.”

These sneakers have been through too much, Sofia decides, and she likes the battle scars they’ve accrued, from the scuffs to the small tear along the inner sole. “Then no, but thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m not going to call,” Sofia whispers, just loud enough for Regina to hear. “No matter what, I’m not going to run away.”

Regina sets a hand on her shoulder. “I’m very proud of you, and there’s no shame in needing help. Don’t force yourself to stay if--“

“Sorry!” Emma totters down the stairs, her hand clenched tightly in front of her. “Just took me a while to find this.”

Sofia steps closer; Emma unfurls her fingers, revealing a black button the size of a quarter with a white fist painted center The fist had its pinky and forefinger extended, a gesture which Sofia mimics as Emma moves behind her. The metal pin to hold it in place is rusty but pops open under Emma’s thumb. She fastens the pin to Sofia’s backpack and clears her throat.

“A boyfriend of one of my foster parents gave me that when I was your age. He said rock and roll was all about being you and rocking it. I wasn’t in that home very long, but I never forgot him.” Emma squeezes Sofia’s arm. “You be you, kid, and you rock it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And anyone who disagrees… well, I’m not the sheriff for nothing.”

“Emma, are you threatening children?”

“No. I’m just saying I’m an enforcer of the law. And you happen to write the laws, Madam Mayor.”

Regina rolls her eyes. “Have a good day at school, Sofia.”

Sofia hesitates a moment longer before heading out the door. The day is full of small obstacles – starting with putting on the dress in the first place. Showing her mothers had been difficult, and so, it seems, is stepping out into Storybrooke. She pauses on the porch and closes her eyes. Three deep breaths later, she struts down the walk.


	2. Chapter 2

So far so good, she thinks. Cars drive by, and she imagines what the passengers are saying about her. Her stomach knots. Mr. Plotzke from down the road is walking his dog, who strains forward on her leash in her unbridled enthusiasm to say good morning. He looks at her with squinting eyes until recognition dawns on him. She braces for his response, but he merely lifts his hand as she passes by.

So far so good, she repeats. Despite her fears, nothing catastrophic has happened–-it’s still early though, and she hasn’t yet reached school. Nothing Emma said is new to her, but Emma’s fears have solidified her own. She grasps the straps of her backpack tightly as she approaches the schoolyard. This is her last chance to go home again, she considers.

“Henry?”

She recognizes the voice and turns slowly to greet her friend. “Hey, Karen.”

The other girl stops a few feet away, her blonde curls bouncing once and then coming to a halt around her neck. She lowers her sunglasses and narrows her eyes. “Uh, what’s with the get up?”

“It’s not a get up…” Sofia feels the back of her neck heating, so she slaps a palm along the juncture where her neck meets her shoulders and offers a nervous smile. “It’s just what I’m wearing.”

“Okay.”

Taking this as a good sign, Sofia adds, “Um, I have something I need to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“I know you’ve known me as Henry for years, but that’s not who I am.” She feels small under Karen’s careful scrutiny. “I’m a girl, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can you say something other than okay?”

Karen smirks and lifts her right foot. Because she wears a knee-length skirt, her ankles are visible, and Sofia can see the joint where Karen’s natural leg ends and the prosthesis begins. “Hey, if anyone’s going to understand having a body that’s not what you expect, it’s me.”

As Karen settles her red converse back against the ground, Sofia feels relief zooming down her spine. No matter what, she thinks, she’s got at least one person on her side. “Could you call me Sofia?”

“I dunno,” Karen replies, her tone cheeky. “You look more like a Natalie to me. But I guess, if you’ve made up your mind…”

As they enter the yard and approach the front of the school, Sofia feels like more people than usual are looking at her. There are whispers all around her, and she just knows that everyone is talking about her. Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen a dress–-maybe she ought to have worn more subtle feminine clothing like blouses and skirts for the first few weeks. If she had eased into dressing as she wanted, then perhaps the effect would have been minimal.

“Relax,” Karen whispers as she links their arms. “Come on. I don’t want to be late for first period.”

Sofia follows close behind. They separate to visit their own lockers, and Sofia takes a moment to rest her forehead against the cold metal before spinning her combination. A hand slams the locker next to her head, and she flinches back. She sucks in a quiet breath of air; she knew this would happen, she reminds herself. She can handle this.

She turns around and faces her aggressor. He’s a large fellow, she notes, with a clenched fist and a frown. The fist uncurls just long enough to grab the front of her dress and slam her back against the locker.

“Let go,” she orders.

He snorts. “I don’t take orders from little boys playing dress up in their mommy’s clothes.”

She wishes briefly that she had Regina’s wardrobe. Regina would never wear something that looked like this, but her choice had been limited at the thrift store. Her options were either this floral patterned sundress or a shapeless, drab blue patch of fabric that would have made her feel pathetic.

“Nick, let him go.”

Sofia’s eyes dart to the girl standing beside Nick. She hadn’t realized they weren’t alone, and she’s all at once embarrassed that someone is witnessing this, frustrated that she isn’t allowed to take care of this on her own, and happy that someone is standing up for her.

Nick’s grip tightens. “I don’t have to listen to you, either.”

“Yeah, just like you don’t listen to Michael. How’s all this not listening working out for you?”

“Just fine, thanks.”

The girl rolls her eyes. “If you’re done being a bully…?”

“I’m not a bully,” he growls out. “I’m making sure he stays out of trouble.”

“Henry, right?”

“Actually--“

“Look, my brother here isn’t the most–-elegant? Polite? Well-mannered?” She stops to ponder the correct word, gives up, and shakes her head. “Anyway, he’s not exactly Prince Charming.”

“So?” Sofia grips his hand to keep herself steady.

“So if he were to drop you right now, you’d understand that he’s just a product of his environment, wouldn’t you? You’d feel bad that he was raised by wolves--“

“I was raised by you.”

“Okay, sort of. You’d feel bad that he was sort of raised by me, you’d pity him a bit, and then you’d go on with your day–-you wouldn’t feel it was necessary to report my poor, undisciplined brother to the principal, right?”

Sofia’s lips draw back over her teeth as she prepares to lambaste the duo for their conduct. Nick draws his other hand back, presumably to hit her, when she decides that avoiding conflict is probably best. The angry words stay locked in her throat as she nods. She isn’t going to call home, and she isn’t going to hide behind authority figures. Her snarl disappears, and a smile takes its place.

“Right.”

Nick watches the emotions play out on her face and grunts, misinterpreting her sudden acquiescence as fear. He releases his grip only to immediately thrust himself back in her personal space. She doesn’t flinch this time but merely stares him down until he stalks away.

“Thanks. And sorry.”

Before she can respond, the girl is chasing after her brother, and Sofia is left to open her locker and grab her books. She grabs the two she needs for first period as the bell rings.

Dread pools in her stomach. If she had gotten to class on time, she could have taken her seat without anyone in particular noticing her. Now though, she’ll have to walk in late, and everyone in class will be staring at her. The thought nearly drives her to the bathroom, where she could plausibly hide until second period. Her phone vibrates in her pocket.

**Where are you??**

The text is from Paige, and her palms suddenly feel clammy. This is too much too soon. She should have just waited until college. She darts for the bathroom but screeches to a halt when she has to decide which side to enter. A male student exits the door on the right and pays her no mind.

Rather than make a decision, she heads for the nearest exit and steps out into the sunshine. She grants herself five minutes to get things together, and then she’ll text Paige back. The idea of coming out to so many people at the same time fills her with anxiety.

As a kid, she’d always sort of enjoyed being in the spotlight–-having royalty as family and the Savior as a mother granted her bountiful attention when she wanted it. She had felt special and important. Having everyone notice her at this point is too much pressure. She stares down at her phone, and her thumb strays toward the few keystrokes that will start the call to Regina. Before she can make a decision, another text from Paige overtakes her screen.

**Karen said she saw you this morning. Are you feeling okay?**

_I’m fine_ , she sends back, _just had a problem with my locker. I’ll be in soon._

**Good. Well, I should stop texting. Mr. G is watching, and you know how much he hates phone use in class.**

Preparing herself for the worst while she walks, Sofia grips her books tightly. Before she reaches the door, she tugs her backpack off, removes the pin from where Emma had placed it, and adds the button to the front of her dress. In that location, she can touch the small item for strength if she needs a reminder that her mothers are behind her. Backpack once more on her shoulders, she opens the door to first period English and strides inside.

The class falls silent, and Mr. Gray stares at her. “Mr. Mills, you’re more than five minutes late to class. Do you have a pass?”

Sofia licks her lips to spread what little moisture is left in her mouth. Making eye contact with Karen, she stands a little straighter. “Sorry, Mr. G. My locker got jammed. And… and that’s Ms. Mills, please.”

A titter races around the room, and her resolve wavers. It’s not too late, she reflects. She can crack a joke and pretend like this is some sort of elaborate prank. Mr. Gray raises a hand and silences the room.

“I apologize for misspeaking, but if you don’t have a pass, I can’t let you sit in class.”

Sofia recalls the numerous times other students have entered the room without passes and how they all got to stay, but she’s expended her courage for the day; as she heads for the door, Karen jumps to her feet.

“I can vouch for her. She texted me right before class about her locker and asked me to tell you. I just forgot. Sorry.”

Mr. Gray waves Sofia to her seat. “We’ve wasted enough time today. Are you prepared to discuss the text, Ms. Mills?”

Sofia slides into her desk and sets her books primly in front of her. “Which chapter?”

She answers his questions as best she can, although her mind is a million miles from class. A paper ball or two hits the back of her head, but she tries not to think about them, or the people who threw them in the first place. Mr. Gray does nothing to stop the students from their petty actions, so she sucks it up and barrels onward as if nothing is bothering her.

As soon as the bell rings, Paige is at her side, hands akimbo and expression stoic. “Well, Ms. Mills?”

She gathers her books back up and avoids eye contact. “I was going to tell you…”

“I’m your best friend, and you didn’t say anything!”

“Paige, listen…” She trails off for a moment and tries to figure out the best way to tactfully put things. “This has been hard enough for me, okay? It’s not like I’ve been super comfortable with it, and nobody else knew until today. Coming out has sorta been all or nothing for me. I wasn’t keeping this a secret to hurt you. I was just… trying to figure things out.”

Paige bops Sofia's nose with the tip of a finger. “In the future, I expect all of your deepest, darkest secrets be provided to me well in advance of others finding out. I’ll accept emails, texts, and desperate, tear-filled midnight calls.”

“I’ll get right on that next time.”

“Are you okay?” She leans closer to Sofia. “Anyone giving you trouble?”

“No trouble. Why? Would you do something about it?”

“I’d tell someone who could actually do something about it, yes.” Paige shrugs. “I inherited many traits from my father, but craziness was not one of them. I know I can’t take on a bully in a fight, but I don’t mind being the tattletale who gets an adult.”

“Thanks, but I’m doing fine.”

Paige throws her hands up. “Alright.”

“So you’re really okay with this? With me?”

She thinks for a moment, her eyes flitting about the room. “Crazy things happen in this town. It takes me a while to process everything, so I may wake up in the morning freaking out–-but the thing is I really like you, Henry, and that doesn’t mean anything unless I like the you that you really are, you know? I can’t just like one version of you and ignore the truth. That’s not how liking someone works.”

“I like you, too, but my name’s not Henry now.”

“Pardon me, fair lady, but you never gave me an alternative.”

“She’s Sofia.” Karen approaches. “Are you two done with your hugfest?”

Sofia glares. “Way to ruin the moment.”

“Um, who saved you from a visit to the principal’s office? This girl. So who should you thank at this exact moment in time?” She waits a moment before jabbing her thumbs into her chest. “This girl.”

Sofia laughs and stands. “Fine. Thank you, this girl.”

“I sound a bit like a superhero when you say it that way. This Girl, here to save the day once again. It’s a bit tiring, wouldn’t you say? What with how often the world is in danger. It’s almost too much for one super-powered teenager to handle alone.”

“Almost.”

As they walk into the hallway, Sofia feels a weight lifting from her chest. One period down, she thinks, and seven to go. Easing out into the crowds of people renews her anxiety though, and she takes a step back. Every word of the chatter around her must be about her, and her heart thuds so loudly she’s surprised nobody is looking for a ticking bomb. Her nerves soothe as she realizes that only a few people are giving her strange looks, while the rest don’t even notice she’s there.

She has Karen or Paige in the first three periods of the day. Although she hears quietly whispered snide comments and puts up with several barrages of spitballs, she can overlook the hardships when her friends slip her notes about hanging out later. Paige is willing to teach her the basics of makeup, and Karen just doesn’t want to be left out.

Heading into fourth period calculus is a challenge, however, as both friends elected to take statistics instead. She takes a seat, makes herself sit straight, and stares at the whiteboard. She answers a few polite questions about herself and discusses the answer to one of the more difficult homework questions. This isn’t her favorite subject, and she struggled with the last test, but she’s not in that bad of shape compared with her classmates.

When the teacher walks in with Nick behind her, Sofia deflates. Nick doesn’t seem to notice her, but Sofia realizes that contact with him is going to be inevitable when the teacher hands back their last test and announces that all those who scored under eighty percent would be required to meet with Nicholas the math tutor once a week until the next test. The seventy-nine at the top of the page makes her want to melt; she wants to ask the teacher for an exception, based upon her past performance and a promise to do better in the future, but Regina has impressed upon her a need to do things thoroughly. If this is what she must do to pass the class, then she’ll meet with Nick and hope for the best.

Nick spots her before he exits; his lips quirk up into a smile, but she doesn’t think he’s happy to see her. She gulps, slides lower in her seat, and proceeds to miss the entire lecture.

0-0-0

During lunch, she ducks into an empty stairwell and pulls out her phone. She doesn’t want to be picked up, she thinks, but she wants to talk to Regina. When she dials, though, she punches in Emma’s number and waits for her blonde mother to pick up.

“Kid, you okay? You want me to come get you? Gimme some names.”

“Slow down, Ma.” She leans against the wall and cradles the phone to her ear. “Yes, I’m okay. No, I don’t want you to come get me. There are no names to give.”

“Oh.” Emma chuckles. “Well, then what’s up?”

“It’s been, well, interesting today.” Sofia licks her lips, unsure of how many details to provide.

“Interesting how?”

“Most people don’t care or notice, but a few…”

“I thought you said there were no names to give.”

“There aren’t. I’m handling it, okay? It’s just… sort of tiring, you know?” She sighs with relief as Emma mutters an affirmative. “Whenever I thought about this, I just imagined walking into school as myself and everything being fine. No questions from anyone, you know?”

“I wish it were that way.”

“I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not impossibly hard, either.”

“Just tiring. You’re doing great, kid.”

Sofia smiles and tension leaves her posture. She had called Emma, unsure of what she wanted, but the praise and support lifts her spirits. She’s halfway through the day, and nothing horrible has gone wrong. A little bullying is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

“Thanks.”

“Kid, I don’t mean to cut you off, but I just got a call over the radio about some kids messing with the Hatter’s old mansion. I have to go run them off.”

“That’s cool,” she replies. “I just called to say hello.”

“Hello, Sofia.”

The utterance of her name calms what’s left of her nerves. She hangs up and returns to the lunch room.

0-0-0

“How’s you dad adjusting?” Sofia sidles back into her seat beside Paige. “With living in town, I mean.”

“He doesn’t like living so near to other people, but I think he’s getting used to not having everything so much closer.” Paige shrugs. “The biggest shock so far is that people are actually interested in buying his hats. Why the sudden interest in my dad?”

“I talked to my mom, and she mentioned that people were up near his mansion causing problems. I sorta forgot he hadn’t always lived over the haberdashery.”

“It makes it easier to see him.”

“He still isn’t ready for you to live with him?”

Paige pokes her food with her fork and shakes her head. “He says he wants to get better, but then he doesn’t do anything about it. I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s rough, buddy.” Karen slides her brownie across the table. “You can have my dessert, if you want.”

“No, thanks.”

“Okay.” Karen takes the brownie back and begins to nibble on the corner. “But you shouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“He’s my dad. I can’t just not worry.”

“You can’t control him. Lots of stuff in life is out of your control, so why worry?”

“He loves you,” Sofia adds. She sets a hand on Paige’s arm. “So at least there’s that.”

“If he loved me, wouldn’t he want to get help?” Sofia and Karen exchange looks, and neither one knows exactly how to respond. Paige blinks back tears, clears her throat, and changes the subject. “How did you do on your math test?”

Sofia ducks her head. “I had other things on my mind, okay?”

“That bad?”

“Not awful… but definitely not great. I have to meet with a math tutor.”

“Who’s the tutor for calculus?”

“Nick Zimmer.”

Paige winces.

“In any event, you’re good enough at math that you won’t really need his help.”

“I don’t know. I really did struggle with that section. No matter the reason, I was distracted and not really taking the information in. If he’s willing to actually help me, I’d take the instruction. I’m willing to be an adult if he is.”

“Good luck with that.” Karen snorts. “I overheard him talking a few days ago about this, and I quote, wicked rager he’s throwing this weekend. Puh-lease. He’s so not an adult.”

“I bet he was just bluffing. There’s no way he’d be able to get alcohol.” Paige wrinkles her nose. “Unless he’s going to steal it?”

“What does it matter? It’s not like we’re going.”

Karen throws her arm around Sofia’s shoulders. “We could probably sneak in, if we find out where it is.”

“Yeah, let’s not.” Sofia shimmies out of Karen’s grip. “I need to study if I’m going to save my grade from the dumpster.”

“Sof, you’re seriously smart enough as it is. Promise me that if I can find where the party’s being held, you’ll go with us.”

“Us?” Paige shakes her head. “I’m not taking part in this. No thank you.”

“You promise too, then.”

“It doesn’t really sound like my scene…”

“I want to dance! It’ll probably be fun, even if it’s being hosted by the Creature from the Black Lagoon.” Karen stares plaintively at them. “Seriously. I won’t go alone, so I need you guys. Like, literally need. I haven’t been dancing since…”

As Karen transfers her gaze down to her prosthetic foot, Sofia sighs. “You really know how to lay it on thick, Karen.”

“Besides,” Karen continues her plea, “Sofia, we need to launch you onto society. This could be you debutante ball.”

“Crashing a party with a bunch of high school kids drinking stolen alcohol.” She rolls her eyes. “Sounds very classy.”

“So you’re in?”

“Begrudgingly.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sofia walks home from school with several different thoughts clamoring for her attention. The rest of the school day had transpired without much ado–-what she had experienced before lunch was what she experienced after lunch, and she has high hopes that after a few weeks, the hubbub surrounding her transition will have died down.

She ponders with a small amount of trepidation about the tutoring sessions with Nick. For one reason or another, he’s taken a special interest in mocking her. Her first tutoring session with him is on Thursday afternoon, so she has a day or so to prepare herself mentally and physically for whatever he might throw at her. In the best-case scenario, he does his job and tutors her. He can be as brusque as he wants, she thinks, as long as he teaches her. Worst-case is much harder to stomach.

She can’t believe she agreed to go to the stupid party this weekend. She enjoys dancing and socializing, but she has no interest in spending more time with Nick than is necessary. If enough people are there though, she probably won’t see him. She hopes. She can use her standby excuse of illness if she wakes up and just cannot go. There’s also a chance that her moms will refuse to give her permission.

That hope is shattered when she walks in the door and hears them discussing travel plans.

“She’ll be fine,” Emma argues. “We’ve had this planned for months now.”

“She needs our support, Emma, and that’s the end of it. You can call the bed and breakfast and reschedule.”

“We’ll lose our deposit.”

“That’s fine.”

“Regina, with the curse broken, you’re no longer a dragon sitting atop a treasure trove of gold. Money matters.”

“Not when it comes to our daughter.”

“Mom? Ma?” She stands in the entryway to the living room and cocks her head. “What’s going on?”

Emma rubs the back of her neck. “Well, kid, your mom and I were going to take a weekend vacation, just the two of us, but…”

“You need us here,” Regina supplies. “I’m having Emma cancel our reservations so that we can support you.”

“We’ll do it, if you need us to.” Emma shrugs. “I think you’re old enough to stay a few nights by yourself--“

“This isn’t about her age. This is about being there for her when she needs us!”

“We’ll be here for her the rest of the week and as soon as we get back, too. And it’s not like our cells won’t work just because we’re out of town.”

“Do you want us to stay?” Regina steps closer and cups Sofia’s cheek.

“No.” Sofia lifts her hands, both pleased by Regina’s insistence and embarrassed by the attention. “You’ve had this planned, and you’ve both been working really hard. You deserve a break. I didn’t–-I don’t want to cause problems.”

“You’re not causing any problems.”

“If you cancel your plans because of me, then I’ll feel like I am. So please. Take your weekend vacation. I’ll be totally fine here.”

“You’re sure? Because we will cancel if you want us to, kid. You’re more important than a deposit on a room.”

“I’m positive.” She tries to smile, but her lips aren’t as steady as she desires. The last thing she wants though is to be a nuisance, so she reassures Regina multiple times that she’ll be just fine on her own this weekend. “Besides, I’ve got a ton of homework to do. I’ll just be here, studying and stuff. You don’t need to stick around for that.”

“If you’re sure…” Regina hugs her briefly. “So how was school?”

She shrugs. “Pretty average.”

“Anyone give you trouble?”

“No.” The small lie won’t hurt anyone, she decides. The troublemakers weren’t worth the effort of explaining exactly what had transpired. She knows she’ll be able to deal with everything–-and the first day is the hardest. She survived, and she’ll wake up tomorrow and do the same thing again until being herself is the new, expected normal.

“Did you get your math test back?”

Sofia cringes; she had hoped that Regina wouldn’t remember that she took one the week before. “Well, yes.”

“And?”

“The thing I love most about life,” Sofia begins, her mind whirring for a good excuse. She’s the daughter of a politician, so she should know how to twist the truth to fit her needs. Instead, the Charming bloodline is too strong, and she struggles to lie effectively. “It’s that there are so many opportunities to grow. Nobody’s perfect, after all…”

“How bad?” Emma grins at her. “What’s the damage?”

“I’m not going to fail the class or anything like that.”

“Sofia.”

She dips her head under Regina’s intense stare. “I got a seventy-nine…”

“That’s not bad, kid. From the expression, I was expecting something more like a fifty-nine.” Emma moves closer and ruffles her hair. “What’s with the long face? That’s average, right?”

Although she’s used to receiving superior grades, the issue isn’t so much the grade as much as what the grade is forcing her to do. Still, she can’t complain directly without letting them know that the math tutor is bullying her, so she shrugs. “I expect better of myself.”

“You’ll do better next time.” Regina tweaks her nose. “But perhaps you ought to spend a bit more time studying.”

“I’m meeting with a math tutor later this week.”

“Nerd,” Emma coughs into her hands. Sofia knows Emma’s only joking, but she doesn’t laugh along as she knows that spending time with Nick will potentially be anything but an educational use of time. Emma could have coughed the word masochist, and Sofia would have agreed more.

“I prefer to think of her as success-minded.” Regina elbows Emma’s side. “Whereas you are more simple-minded.”

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“You were teasing her.”

“In a nice, motherly way. She’s not gonna break because I’m ribbing her a bit.”

“I don’t like it.” Regina wraps her arms around her abdomen. “Apologize.”

“Mom, it’s okay.” Sofia flushes. “Really. You wouldn’t have complained before.”

Regina nibbles on one lip. “Perhaps not. But this can’t be the easiest time for you, and I don’t want anyone to needlessly make your life more difficult.”

“I actually prefer it. When you don’t treat me any different, I mean. I’m still me.” She stares down at the floor. “So, please don’t suddenly think I’m fragile or something.”

“The kid’s fallen down a mineshaft and been kidnapped by Peter Pan,” Emma muses. “She’s not exactly weak.”

“I never said she was.”

“Moms.” Sofia lifts her head and one hand to stop their bickering. There was a bit of comfort to the noise, but she just wants to go do her homework and pretend like nothing’s different about their lives now. “Go on your trip. I’ll use the weekend to study for class. Everything’s great.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“My friend Karen’s having a couple of people over on Saturday,” she adds. “Do you think I could go?”

Regina hesitates, but Emma jumps in immediately. “If you want to, we trust you.”

“Yes, that much is true.” Regina frowns. “But do try to stay out of trouble.”

“I will,” Sofia promises, although she’s not sure what Nick’s party will be like.

0-0-0

When she arrives at school the next morning, she no longer feels horribly on display. People talk, but she’s fairly sure their conversations are not about her clothing, which, thanks to Regina, is a lot prettier than what she wore the day prior. Rather than the second raggedy dress Sofia had purchased on her own, Regina had conjured a pleated plaid skirt and a clean, pressed white blouse. This isn’t exactly her style, but she appreciates the care and effort, and so she wears them with pride. Emma’s button is hooked into the shirt’s collar, and she strides confidently into first period.

“Hey.” Despite the greeting, Paige doesn’t lift her head. Sofia frowns. “Everything okay with you?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“I really don’t want to talk right now, okay?”

Sofia blinks and nods. She heads to her seat, rests her chin on her forearms, and stares straight ahead at the whiteboard. Not everything is about her, she reminds herself, but worry is making her throat tight. Paige was fine with her yesterday. There’s no reason Paige wouldn’t be fine with her today. Except Paige had said that she might freak out in the morning--

A folded note slides onto her desk; Karen raises her eyebrows and mouths that she should keep this quiet. She ducks her head, unfolds the note, and scans its contents.

_You probably didn’t know this, and I really shouldn’t be telling you, but Paige liked you. Like really liked you. Liked you liked you, if you get what I’m saying. She called last night in tears because she loved boy you in a more than friendly way, but now you’re not boy you–-you’re girl you. I think today she just doesn’t know how to treat you._

She just needs to act like nothing’s changed, Sofia thinks. She balls the note up as class starts. She’s still inherently herself, even if the label is a little different.

By the time first period ends, she’s worked herself up into a bit of a tizzy. The idea that one of her friends would be so fickle makes her feel unsafe, which in turn makes her feel angry. Her friends are supposed to support her, and if Paige is going to sit there and act sad over this, then she’s going to say something about it.

However, as she stands over Paige’s desk and looks down at her tired-looking friend, the vehemence drains from her. She splays her hand flat on the desk to get Paige’s attention and murmurs, “Maybe we just need some space, okay?”

“I don’t…” Paige trails off and clears her throat. “I don’t need space. I just–-I don’t know what I need. A good night’s sleep maybe.”

Sofia wants to say that pulling her head out of her ass would make a good starting point, but she’s not as sassy and biting as her mothers. Someone wounding her does not pull out her claws but instead makes her want to retreat and recover. A lifetime of being saved by her family, she muses, has not made her entirely self-sufficient in this department.

“I’m not saying long term. Just maybe for the rest of the week?”

“I care about you.”

“But you also care about him.”

Paige looks back down at her desk. “I’m your friend--“

“I know.” Sofia nibbles on her lips and turns to walk away. “But friends don’t have to always get along.”

She hurries from the classroom before Paige can respond. She can’t recall ever arguing with Paige about much of anything, so this small fight feels larger than it probably is. Still, this small change in Paige’s behavior hurts, and she spends a large portion of the day wondering how this could possibly be resolved.

0-0-0

“One more day until you face off with Nick in the smack down of the century!”

Karen plops next to her on the stairs leading into the school building. Most students have already returned home, but Sofia had taken a seat to further contemplate the events of her day. There had been no sighting of Nick, but she knows she shouldn’t take that as a good sign or a promise of good behavior during her tutoring. She elbows Karen and shakes her head.

“It’s not going to be a smack down. It’s going to be all about calculus and--“

“You’ve already lost me.” Karen cringes. “Gimme a test on AP bio any day, and save the math witchcraft for someone with a calculator.”

Sofia snorts. “You won’t always have a calculator.”

“I’ll have my phone, and if I’m doing something that my phone can’t handle, I think I’d pinch myself to wake up from that horrible nightmare.”

“Math isn’t that bad.”

“It’s not? So, why did you fail that test?”

“I didn’t fail.” Sofia bristles but understands that Karen is teasing her. “I had a lot on my mind.”

“This… this wasn’t easy, was it?”

“No.”

“Do you mind if I ask how you knew?”

“Why? You think you might be a man?”

“No, nothing like that. Just professional curiosity.”

“And what are you a professional of?”

“Curiosity.”

Sofia smiles and fiddles with the hem of her skirt. “Well, when I was like fourteen or so, right when things calmed down, I started having these dreams. Like once a month-–and they weren’t repetitive in what they were, but they were the same in that I was girl me. I’d wake up in the morning with this sort of yearning. Have you ever had a dream that was so great that waking up was just painful?”

“Ugh, yes. I had this dream once with this absolutely perfect guy. I can’t even describe him, and I can’t remember what he looked like, but I just know he was exactly what I wanted. Waking up totally sucked–-I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t get back into that dreamscape.”

“I tried sleeping a lot for the same purpose. I just liked who I was in the dreams, but I wasn’t sure why. Being awake-me just wasn’t right.” Sofia flexes her hands. “After a while though, I sorta started wondering if it wasn’t because in my dream I was a girl.

“I waited until my moms were gone, and then I snuck into their closet. I was totally beet red, I’m sure, but I tried some of their clothes on. To be honest, standing there in heels and a dress that didn’t fit felt better than any other time in my life up until that point.”

“How long ago was that?”

Sofia shrugs. “A couple of years.”

“Took you long enough to come out.”

“I didn’t know what it meant, okay? I just–-I don’t know--thought that I liked dresses. Guys are allowed to like dresses.”

“Sorry I touched a nerve.”

Sofia flushes. “Well… it just wasn’t like I woke up one morning just knowing. It was sorta like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces fell into place over time, and after a while, I got an idea of the bigger picture.”

“I see.” Karen turns her attention to the cloudy sky and inhales slowly. “Well, are you happier now?”

“I think I will be. Right now it’s just… weird. I’m glad this is me, but I don’t feel like I am me, yet. If that makes sense.”

“Not really, but I’m glad for you?” She grins at Sofia. “We better get going. Smells like rain.”

As they walk, Sofia lets her gaze trail down to Karen’s red shoes. The first drop of water splatters against her nose as she says, “So, I don’t know if this is rude to ask or not--“

“I don’t really like talking about it.” Karen glances at her. “You’re going to ask about my foot, right?”

“I was…”

“Yeah… I was stupid, and now, it’s gone. You live, you learn, and so on.”

“Okay.”

After a momentary pause, Karen sighs loudly. “Okay, but you’re not allowed to tell anyone, you got that? The second I hear this around school, we’re not friends anymore.”

“I promise I won’t say anything to anyone.”

“Right when the curse broke, my parents went downtown to go shopping-–the first time in thirty years they could actively update the style of our home. I went with them, but when they went into Marco’s store, I went to Gold’s Pawn Shop on my own. I don’t know why I did it... It just seemed like a good idea at the time.

“Anyway, I went in and immediately spotted this pair of beautiful golden slippers. They were practically calling my name out. As I went to grab ‘em, Gold stopped me and tutted that those weren’t for me to wear. I said, yeah, sure, and promised not to go near them. I wandered around looking at his weird junk for a while until he went into his back room.

“As soon as he was gone, I went straight back for those slippers. I didn’t see the harm in just trying them on. I had just enough time to put one on before he got back. I thought he’d get angry, but instead, he just smiled knowingly. I wanted to apologize, but then my foot started wiggling all on its own.”

“I won’t say it.”

Karen rolls her eyes. “Go for it.”

“That wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I know.”

“Which is why I wasn’t going to say it.”

“Doesn’t matter now, does it? I put the stupid shoe on, and then Gold looked happy that I’d disobeyed what he said... I mean, I might be misremembering at this point, but I coulda sworn that he wanted me to put the shoe on. He offered to help me take it off.”

“For a price?”

“I forget you know more about what he does than most people.”

Sofia shrugs. “I didn’t get to choose my grandparents.”

“Yet, somehow you got to be related to all the magically powerful people in town. Is there anyone you’re not related to?”

“You.”

“Oh good.” Karen wipes rain from the bridge of her nose. “Well, I didn’t want to owe him anything because even though I didn’t know much about him, he scared me. I ran out of there as fast as I could. I promised I’d bring the shoe back as soon as I got it off.”

“Why not just take it off in the store?”

“You don’t think I tried that? That was the first thing I did when he just appeared behind me. I tried to yank it off, but nothing happened. Turns out, it was a cursed shoe. No way to get it off. I tried to hide it from my parents, but it’s really hard to keep people from seeing a foot constantly moving all on its own. They took me to the hospital after a while.”

“Couldn’t they cut the slipper off?”

“Nope. They broke a blade or two on it though. By the time they suggested amputating, I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept since I put it on because the movement was just too much.”

“Was owing Gold a favor that horrible?”

“I didn’t want to tell my parents what happened. To be honest, only you, me, and him know what really did…” Karen sighs. “I was scared, so I let them do what they thought was best.”

“Wow.”

“Want to know the weirdest part?” Although the subject is sensitive, Karen’s eyes are once again twinkling. Sofia admires how quickly she can move forward and bounce back. “The foot is still moving. Wouldja believe that?”

“How’s that even possible?”

“Hell if I know. But they’ve got it in a box at the hospital for observation. Apparently if you put on different kinds of music, it actually dances appropriately. Wild, huh?”

“That’s definitely one word for it.”

“So anyway, the foot’s gone, and I learned my lesson.” Karen steps deliberately in a newly formed puddle, coating her prosthesis in rainwater. “It hasn’t slowed me down at all.”

Sofia stares at the fake foot for a moment and then asks, “Want to come over for a while?”

“I should go home and do homework… but sure.”

“We can do homework together.” Sofia hesitantly links their arms. Karen beams at her. “But then I got this really cool game a few weeks ago. Have you heard about World of Doom?”

“I read one review that gave it six bloody skulls out of seven, which is high praise. I think.” Karen laughs. “I’m surprised your mom lets you play something like that.”

“Emma bought it for me. If Mom had her way, I’d only be playing Tetris.” She rolls her eyes. “She once said that Pac-Man was too violent. She was afraid the ghosts would traumatize me or something.”

“They are pretty spooky for a little girl like you to see.”

“Oh please,” Sofia replies. “Nothing scares me.”


	4. Chapter 4

She sits down in the math lab and folds her hands before her. A quick glance at the clock lets her know that she’s a few minutes early, which gives her just enough time to panic and get herself under control once more. Her feet fidget against the linoleum as she stares up at the ticking second hand. If he isn’t there on time, she grants herself permission to just leave.

He stalks in a moment later and drops into the seat beside her. “Let’s get this over with.”

She opens her book and nods. “Okay. I was hoping you could help me with the questions I missed on the test, if that’s okay?”

As he gruffly walks her through the basics of the questions she failed to answer correctly, she fiddles with her pencil. She ought to have known the answers, she thinks; what he’s saying isn’t complex, and she feels stupid for having been distracted.

“You’re not taking notes.”

“I get it.”

“You gotta write something down if you want the credit for coming.” He glares at her. “I don’t want to have to do this over.”

“Why do I make you so angry?”

He stutters for a moment before jamming his thumb at the math book. “Stay on subject.”

Feeling bold, she says, “So you’ll push me against a locker and threaten me, but you’ll also teach me math?”

“This is my job. I need the money enough I can’t say no even when the idiot they want me to help is some confused cross dresser.”

“I’m not confused, nor am I an idiot.”

“Yeah, sure. What’d you put for forty-three?”

Sofia sighs and answers. He laughs at her answer, but she’s sure he’s just trying to be rude at this point. After a moment of her silent staring, he sobers and moves on.

“Did you remember the remainder?”

She grimaces and stares down at her sloppily written work. “Look, I know I messed this test up. I know what I did wrong. You’ve been really helpful in showing me how to do this right, but I get it. Can we be done?”

He glances at the clock. “If we don’t work together a full half an hour, I can’t sign off on this tutoring.”

“You’re serious? Don’t you want to go do something else, too?”

“Well, yeah.” He sits stiffly and gives no indication that he's tempted by her offer. “But I have to account for my time and what we worked on. I, uh, I can’t lie about this sort of thing.”

“I’d cover for you.”

“Dude, I roughed you up,” he responds with no shortage of incredulity. “I wouldn’t trust you not to turn me in on this. I could lose my job.”

“Don’t call me dude. And I don’t care. You’re a jerk, but that’s not my problem. I’m not like you–-I’m not out to intentionally hurt people.”

“I didn’t hurt you. I just--“ He swallows hard and shakes his head. “You shouldn’t be dressing like that.”

“Thanks for the input.” She does her best to keep an acerbic bite from her tone but fails. She folds her arms over her chest and glares at him. “What makes you think you can tell me what to do? Are you the gender police?”

He frowns. “No, but you’ll get it a lot worse from other people. Listen to me and avoid a lot of hurt, or keep doing what you’re doing and end up dead.”

“I didn’t know you cared so much.”

“I don’t.”

“Then admit that you have no right to tell me what to do or how to dress.”

“I’m trying to help you, man.”

“What part of ‘I’m not a man’ do you not understand?”

“Sorry.” Nick doesn’t sound at all apologetic, but Sofia takes what she can get from him. If she’s stuck with him for a bit longer that afternoon, then there’s no point in instigating a fight.

“Well, if you insist on running through the problems, be my guest,” she says evenly. “Just don’t expect me to pay much attention.”

He huffs and jabs the tip of his pencil against the paper. “Then what’s the point? I’m going to have to report to the teacher that you weren’t engaged.”

“Then I’m going to have to report to the principal that you shoved me against a locker.”

They stare at one another until he grunts and leans back; he folds his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “You’re making this impossible.”

“I’m really not,” she shoots back. “You’re the one who can’t look past his own backward ideas and understand that he has no control over my life.”

“Fine!” He stands abruptly. “If you end up dead, don’t come complaining to me.”

“How would I, if I was dead?” She scowls.

“Knowing this town and those witches you’re related to, you’d probably stick around as a ghost or something. Don’t haunt my ass because I was right.”

She lifts a hand. “Look, we can either sit here bickering until the time is up, or we can both pretend to care about math.”

“I do care about math,” he mutters darkly.

He sits down again and turns the page to the next problem, which he answers with silent efficiency. She begins working through problems on her own, and she offers her answers to him for correction. Without another word to one another, they finish the time out, and she stalks away. She wonders if it’s too late to tell her friends that she has no interest in going to his stupid party that weekend.

0-0-0

“You have to come with.” Karen sighs loudly and leans over Sofia’s desk. Sofia allows the invasion of space and lets Karen peer at her homework, even though she’s fairly certain Karen simply wants to copy her answers. “You got number thirteen wrong.”

Surprised, Sofia stares down at the question. She shakes her head. “No, I didn’t. I remember reading the answer straight from the text.”

“Yeah? Well I got the teacher’s edition of the history book, and the answers are right in the margins. You got number thirteen wrong.”

Sofia glowers at her. “That’s cheating.”

“I did the work myself, but I also checked the work myself. I made sure to get one wrong, just so nobody wonders why I’m so brilliant.” Karen winks.

“Didn’t you learn anything about right and wrong from—“

“No,” Karen interjects. “What happened to my foot has nothing to do with me using the resources available to me. So, don’t try to bring my differently abled-ness into this.”

“I just meant…” Sofia trails off. She had meant to be lighthearted, but she realizes now she had misspoken. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

Karen bumps her with an elbow and smirks. “I’m kidding, Sof. But I honestly did do the work myself the first time. Scout’s honor. I promise on the grave of my dearly departed foot. I’m not a bad kid, mom. I just make bad choices sometimes. That’s how you raised me.”

“I’m not your mother. If I were, I’d forbid you from going to the party this weekend. And then I’d stay home with you and watch old movies and eat ice cream or something.” She smiles at Karen hopefully.

Karen snickers. “Good try, but no dice. We’re going to that party. Paige already ditched out on me, and I am not going alone.”

The mention of Paige makes her stomach clench. She needs to focus on the good friend who is sticking by her through thick and thin, but Karen is a relatively new addition to her life, whereas Paige had been her companion for years longer. Rather than be happy that Karen accepts her as she is, she sits and feels bad about Paige’s rejection. This continues until Karen sets a hand on her shoulder.

“Look, I’m sorry she’s being not the best right now, but I also can’t exactly avoid bringing her up sometimes. I’m just telling you the truth. She ditched out, which means you can’t.”

She meets Karen’s gaze and sighs. “I don’t like your logic. If she gets to ditch out, then it makes sense that I also would get to ditch out.”

“Only one ditch-out per party, actually, and it’s first-come, first-served. Looks like you’re stuck coming to the party with me. Next time, make sure to get your ditch-out signed, notarized, and delivered in a timely manner if you want out that bad.”

“Is it so bad that I want to just curl up on the couch this weekend and relax? School this week hasn’t been the easiest thing ever…”

Karen grins at her. “All the more reason to do this! When you're playing World of Doom, and your character is trying to get out of a cave that's collapsing, and you see the boulders over the exit are slowly falling to trap you inside, do you stop running and get trapped? Or do you run like the dickens and escape in the nick of time? This is your cave-in, and I'm getting you out of that cave alive. We’re launching you onto society this weekend, Sof. Like some sort of boat.”

“Please,” Sofia replies, clasping her hands in front of her, “let my boat not be the Titanic.”

“No, your boat is more like the Jolly Roger.” She elbows Sofia and wiggles her eyebrows; Sofia grimaces. There had been a time when the captain of that ship had tried to father her, but she had no interest in the ‘manly arts’ that Hook had been attempting to teach her. Thankfully, Emma had put a kibosh on that after too many of Sofia’s pained expressions.

“Well, at least that boat hasn’t sunk yet.”

“And neither will you.”

0-0-0

Normally a diligent student but currently quite distracted, Sofia spends the next period staring blankly at the whiteboard as her teacher drones on about the sociological causes of underage drinking. The teacher must know about the party, Sofia thinks. Having never really been to a party like this before, she’s not really sure what to expect—but movies and television lead her to believe she’s not going to have a very good time. She’s not a fan of the idiocy portrayed by the media, and she’s afraid that the underage drinking mixed with news of her coming out as a girl will end poorly, especially given who the host of this party is.

She twists her pencil between her fingers and tries to concentrate. There will be a test on this later, and she’d hate to wind up with a low grade in another class. She didn’t do that badly on her math test, she thinks. Certainly not badly enough that she needs the tutoring, which, by the way, is not helping at all. All Nick is interested in doing is giving her unsolicited advice about the way he thinks she should live her life. She’d prefer real advice about the proper way to solve math problems, but he’s probably not going to ever give that to her.

When the bell rings, she packs her belongings away and sighs. Maybe Karen will give her the notes later because her notebook is horribly empty at the moment. Darn Karen for giving her too much to think about. Karen owes her those notes—and more because Sofia is going to the party with her. That’s a pretty big favor, and Sofia plans on collecting.

She approaches Karen and slings an arm around her shoulder, feeling the most confident she has all week. “So what are you willing to give me for going with you this weekend?”

Karen winks at her; the gesture is large and goofy, and Sofia rolls her eyes in response. She repeats her question to let Karen know she’s completely serious, and Karen groans.

“I’ll write your next English paper for you.”

“I could do that myself.”

“I know. And you’d do it well, too. But I’ll do it just as well in half the time.” Karen wiggles her eyebrows. “It’s a pretty sweet deal, right?”

“We’ll see.”

“Or you can consider this some form of an I-Owe-You, to be cashed in at your discretion.”

“I like that better.” Sofia hesitates. “Maybe you could go shopping with me after school? My mom says I can get some new clothes, but I don’t really want her to go with. I think she’ll try to pick things out for me, but I want to sorta choose who I am now. Is that dumb?”

“Nope. I’ll go with you. But I warn you: I’m not like other girls. I’m really bad at telling when something doesn’t look good because I think all things have the potential to look great as long as you wear ‘em with the right attitude.”

“You don’t sound that different from other girls.”

“Oh please. I read books and have pale skin, and all the boys come to the yard, but I don’t like them.”

“I know you’re sorta joking, but do you?” Sofia heads for her locker, unsure if this is a conversation that’s safe for school.

Karen meanders along with her “Do I what?”

“Like boys.”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know. Liking girls never felt wrong to me, but… I think I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my gender, but not so much time thinking about sexuality.”

“Doesn’t matter, anyway. You like who you like, although I hear it’s illegal in many places to like your cousin.” Karen leans against a locker and shrugs. “In response to your question, sorta. But not in a sexy way? If that makes sense?”

“Do you like girls like that?”

Karen shakes her head and reaches up to fiddle with her hair. “I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean?”

“I looked it up online. I guess I’m asexual.” There’s a hint of uncertainty in her voice, but when she speak again, that shifts into aggression. “Got a problem with that?”

“No. So, do you want to date people?” Sofia digs a book free from her locker and shuts the door. There are a few minutes before class begins anew, so she meets Karen’s gaze and makes no movement to head to their next classroom.

“Yeah, I think so. I’d probably date anybody, y’know? But I haven’t dated anyone really yet.” In an attempt to resume her usual chipper demeanor, Karen adds, "Besides, I still have that dream-boy to think about. I wouldn't want to cheat on him."

“Makes sense.”

“I haven’t really told anyone yet.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“We’re sorta like blood sisters now. You tell me shit. I tell you shit. Neither of us tells anyone else anything on pain of death. That sort of thing.” Karen socks her gently in the shoulder. “I’m glad we became friends, Sof. I really am. You’re a cool cat.”

“Thanks.” Sofia blushes at the compliment and then nods toward the clock. “We better get a move on so we’re not late.”

Karen shifts closer and kisses her cheek as they walk, surprising a laugh out of Sofia. Sofia links their arms together as they walk and decides that even if Paige doesn’t come around, she’s got at least one really good friend she can count on.

0-0-0

“Do you think this is too… I don’t know… Like naughty librarian?” Sofia examines her appearance in the mirror.

“I think it’s just the right amount of naughty librarian.”

“I’m being serious.”

“If you’re comfortable in it, then it’s just right. If you’re doubting yourself, then let’s find something else. You don’t have to buy it just because you think you should.” Karen glances her over. “Try standing a little straighter and pushing your shoulders back.”

“I don’t exactly have anything to push out upfront.” Sofia’s hand comes to rest over her flat bosom. 

“So, my only experience with this is cartoons, where a man in drag stuffs like apples or fruit down his shirt. But isn’t there some way to like simulate?” Karen flexes her hands to indicate her breasts. “I mean, even taking hormones won’t give you boobs by this weekend.”

“I could buy inserts,” Sofia replies. “But that’s sorta the same problem. I don’t know where to get them in town, and shipping them here from online would take more than a day.”

“You do happen to live with two pretty powerful magic users…”

Sofia stares at her appearance and tries to imagine what she’ll look like. She presses her hands to her chest and closes her eyes. Through all her struggles with this, she’s never once thought to ask either mother for magical assistance in changing her body. Using hormones will help in the long run—but maybe she should ask them for this weekend.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Just don’t get like triple e cups, okay? Not for your first time. How tall are you?”

“Five eight or so.”

“Then, as an expert on having boobs, I recommend you maybe shoot for like a c cup or something. That’ll fit your frame pretty good.”

“Do you really think my moms would do that for me?”

“Can’t hurt to ask. But I mean, you know it’s okay if you’re not packing up top, right?”

Sofia hears her but can’t stop imagining how having breasts will change her appearance. People who don’t know her well will assume that she’s female at first blush. She won’t look like a boy in a dress but instead the girl she is. Her throat tightens as she swallows and turns her attention back to her outfit.

“Yeah, of course. I don’t think I like this outfit very much.”

“That’s fine,” Karen soothes. She tugs on Sofia’s sleeves and clucks her tongue. “It’s not the best material anyway. You can do better.”

Sofia returns to the changing room and slowly peels the outfit off. She stares at her body and wrinkles her nose at what she sees. For the past few years, she’s seen nearly everyone in her family perform magic to accomplish tasks immediately—there isn’t much value placed on hard work or patience, not when someone can snap her fingers and be instantly gratified.

She wishes she had that power, so that she could close her eyes, whisper a spell, and then just be exactly who she wanted to be.

Except she knows nothing is that easy. She isn’t so sure changing her body will resolve all the issues swarming around her identity, although doing so would probably make her social life a bit easier to navigate. She rubs the back of her neck as she ponders the party—and if she’ll have to face Nick while she’s there. He’s a jerk, she thinks, but that’s simplifying things. After all the shenanigans since she turned ten, she’s come to see that every story has at least two sides. As frustrated as he makes her, she’s curious about Nick’s.

“You okay in there?”

She quickly pulls her clothing on and gets the outfit back on its hangers. With one last glance in the mirror, she pulls the changing room door open and smiles at Karen. “Yup. How about we go get some ice cream before we do anything else? I kinda need a break.”

“Sure!” Karen beams. “Y’know, I was thinking… We could probably get you like a push-up bra or something—with the padding already built-in. It wouldn’t be like the most perfect suggestion, but we could try it.”


	5. Chapter 5

Karen continues chatting as they exit the store and traverse the mall. The food court isn’t far, and Sofia is glad that Karen doesn’t require actual responses to keep talking. Her spirits are a bit down at the moment, although she’s sure a few minutes away from the clothing store will do wonders for her mood. Her smile returns as Karen purchases an ice cream cone for her, and she feels some of the stress melting away.

“So how you feeling about the whole Paige situation?”

“I don’t know,” Sofia says, taking a slow lick at her cone. “To be honest, I can’t even get that angry at her anymore. It took me years to understand who I am, so how can I expect someone else to get it in under a day, y’know?”

“Still, it sucks all around.”

“My moms have been pretty cool about everything. I was worried, y’know? And Emma didn’t have the best reaction at first, and… well, thank you for staying normal.” Sofia feels her throat tightening and so coughs to try and loosen back up.

“People show their concern in different ways, but it’s probably coming from a not so bad place.”

“I keep telling myself that. Even Nick, I think.”

Karen groans. “That boy has something stuck up his butt, and he’d do well to yank it out. That’s what I think. You can’t take anything he says seriously.”

“I know it’s weird, but I get the feeling he just doesn’t know how to say things right. Like there’s something going on with him.”

“You think he’s gay, maybe? And he doesn’t feel like he can be. Maybe his dad is homophobic or something, so he’s not allowed to be anything but Mr. Manly.” Karen rests her chin on her palm and stares off into her fantasy.

“I don’t know what he is, and I don’t really want to speculate. Like, if he is, that’s fine and all, but he shouldn’t take it out on me. Either way, that’s his business.” Despite dismissing Karen’s idea, Sofia ponders it a bit more. “I mean, it would explain why he was so aggressive. He could totally be overcompensating.”

“It makes sense, that’s all I’m saying.”

Sofia titters. “Maybe I’ll ask him next time he’s an ass during our tutoring session.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Taken by surprise, Sofia glances up and meets Ava’s gaze. The older girl is munching on a soft pretzel and watching them closely. Sofia glances around, afraid that Nick is lingering nearby as well.

“Don’t worry. He’s not here. Not big on malls.”

“I’m sorry,” Sofia starts. “We were just—“

“I get it. He’s a big bully, so talking behind his back is pretty justified. But don’t go spreading rumors or saying that to his face. He’s not gay.”

“Then what’s his deal?” Karen’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead. “C’mon. Maybe if you tell us, we’ll be filled with understanding compassion and sympathy. Show us the man behind the beast.”

“First of all, don’t call my brother a beast. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s not an animal.”

“Sorry,” Sofia says quickly, kicking Karen under the table. “But I have to admit, I am curious.”

“Why would I tell you about my brother? Clearly you’re not big fans of his.”

“He doesn’t treat me very well, but everybody’s got their reasons, right? I figure maybe if I understand his, I can sorta navigate the time we have to spend together.”

Ava takes another bite of her pretzel and then whips and empty seat around, so the back of the chair is pressed to the table. Straddling the seat, she leans against the high back and shrugs. “You confuse him.”

“I confuse him?” Sofia laughs and then quickly sobers as she realizes that she might have offended Ava, who’s her only guide to Nick at the moment. She clears her throat. “I mean, he confuses me, so I guess the feeling’s mutual.”

“I’m guessing your moms know about you?” Ava examines Sofia carefully. “You as the girl you are, I mean.”

“Yes.”

“And they were okay with you?”

“More or less.”

“You’d never survive in our household.” Ava continues eating before adding, “Not an excuse, just an explanation.”

“Not a very thorough explanation,” Karen mutters, but she silences when Sofia nudges her under the table.

“Michael isn’t the greatest. He tries, I’ll give him that, but he’s better with cars than he is with people. Cars are built to specifications, y’know? But kids aren’t, and he never really understood that too well. Boys are supposed to be boys, and girls are supposed to be girls. Any variation needs to be fixed, or it detracts from the overall value. I don’t really give a shit about what he thinks, but Nick always cared. He’s a sensitive boy.”

Sofia considers this. “So Karen wasn’t too far off, then? He’s not gay, but he’s afraid to be anything but Mr. Manly?”

“He’d never say it that way, but I guess so. So when he sees you, he’s got this built-in panic, and he doesn’t get that you’re from a different background than we are. You get to be more than we do.”

“He shouldn’t–-”

Ava lifts a hand. “Like I said, not an excuse. I don’t like people talking bad about my brother. You of all people should know that there’s always more to the story. So, can you guys just cool it? Yeah, he’s a jerk sometimes, but that’s the way he was raised.”

“You didn’t turn out too badly.”

“I’m older, and, like I said, I don’t give a shit what he thinks. I escaped without too much emotional trauma.”

“Why did you decide to tell us this?”

“You’ve got power, y’know? You’re connected–-you make one complaint, and suddenly, Nick is out on his ass. I’m just asking you to give him a chance. Maybe you could teach him a thing or two.”

“That’s not my job…” Sofia shivers as a driblet of ice cream slides down over her fingers.

“Yeah, I know.” Ava stands and tips her head. “Well, see ya later, I guess.”

Sofia watches her go and then resumes eating. Karen tuts under her breath, having long since demolished her cone.

“Do you buy it?”

“I mean, she doesn’t really have a reason to lie, does she?”

“I guess not… Hurry up with that cone. We have to find you something fabulous to wear, and we’re running out of time.”

0-0-0

She stares at herself in the mirror and can’t believe that after the week she’s had, she’s still hesitant to go outside dressed as herself. To be fair, this is a totally different environment than school–-at least in school, there are social rules she understands and can navigate. A party is unfamiliar territory. She repeats over and over again that she shouldn’t let the opinions of others stop her from being herself but following the mantra is a lot harder than saying it.

She swallows hard and twists and turns to see all angles of herself. Karen helped her find a simple but tasteful button-up blouse that complements a pair of dark skinny jeans and black flats well. Pressing a hand to her flat chest, she second-guesses going to her mom for some magical alterations.

This was supposed to be easier, she muses. She was supposed to admit to herself and the world who she is, and then she’d instantly feel better and comfortable. Instead, she’s simply traded one set of concerns for another. Before she can feel too miserable, she reminds herself that at least this set of concerns comes with actually feeling right about who she is.

With a small sigh, she heads to the master bedroom, where she knows she’ll find Emma frantically packing for the weekend getaway. Regina has been done for several hours, but Emma has yet to perfect the art of preparedness. She wants to ask Emma first because Emma will be less likely to give her a lecture on not using magic improperly. If she approached Regina first, then she would be setting herself up for a very disappointed expression.

She knows that magic doesn’t fix everything, no matter how much people want it to. She doesn’t want a magical cure for all the ails in her life—she just wants a pair of breasts for the weekend, which Karen assures her is a very small request. Surely, Emma would understand.

She raps her knuckles against the bedroom door, although the door is open, and waits for Emma to motion for her to enter. As predicted, Emma is jamming odds and ends into a weekend bag; she pauses, however, to smile at Sofia and raise her eyebrows.

“What’s up, kid?”

“I was just curious if…” She rubs her palms against her skirt. “Do you like this outfit?”

“The blouse looks new. Looking good, kid.”

“I just… I feel like it’s missing something.”

“You want, like, a headband or something?”

“No…” She stares at the ground and hopes that Emma will somehow understand what she wants.

“A purse? A belt? Stockings?”

“Ma…”

Emma shakes her head. “Kid, I’m not good at communicating even when things are laid out really clearly, so don’t expect me to guess your meaning. I want to help you, but you gotta tell me how.”

Still staring downward, Sofia manages a quiet, “Could you use your magic to give me boobs?”

“What?”

“Please don’t make me say it again.”

“I don’t know how. Your mom’s a lot better at magic, and she’s got more experience with this sort of thing.” Emma scratches the back of her neck. “With my luck, I’d turn you into a duck or something. I’d do it for you if I could, kid, but I don’t think either of us want what I can do.”

“Oh.” Sofia can’t keep the dispirited tone from taking over her voice. “Well, thanks.”

“You should ask your mom.”

“I’m afraid she’s going to tell me that magic shouldn’t be used like that, and all magic has a price, and… well, you know.” Sofia scuffs her foot against the floor. “But thanks for thinking about it.”

“I bet she’ll surprise you. She’s used magic for sillier things, so she has no high horse to sit on.”

“Say what?” Regina appears behind Sofia, and Sofia jumps at the sudden intrusion.

She feels as though she’s done something wrong, but Emma nods at her. “Well, Mom, I was sorta hoping you could maybe use your magic to help me look more like a girl.”

“You look like a girl now,” Regina replies and then, seeing Sofia deflate, continues, “However, if there’s something you’d truly like to change, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Really?” Sofia’s expression brightens. “Thank you! I don’t want anything permanent yet, but if I could just have breasts for this weekend—“

“Why not go permanent?” Emma’s lips twist to the side as she ponders the idea. “I mean, you definitely have an advantage in transitioning if Regina can change your body however you want.”

After a moment of silence, Sofia says, “I don’t know what I want, yet. I know it’s not as big a deal for me to change with magic, since Mom can change me back, but I want to take this seriously. I want to do this right.”

“All magic is temporary, anyway,” Regina adds. “There is no harm in a simple morphing spell for the weekend, but I won’t be around to alter you if you change your mind.”

“That’s okay. Please, Mom.”

“Very well.” Regina raises a hand, closes her eyes, and exhales slowly. Purple smoke billows off her palm and surrounds Sofia. Regina curls her hand into a fist, and the smoke tightens around Sofia, eventually sinking into her skin.

Sofia winces as her skin begins to expand—her sternum itches, but she’s afraid to touch the area in case she interrupts the magic. When the mild pain fades, she glances down at her chest and nearly cries at the sight of bumps under her blouse. She wipes carefully at her eyes; she spent too long applying makeup to ruin everything with either tears or hasty fingers.

“Will that do?”

“Yes.”

Regina pulls her into a hug, and she clings to Regina, unable to fully express her thanks verbally. After kissing her head, Regina asks, “Did you need a bra?”

“Karen and I bought one at the store today, but I don’t know if it’ll fit. We were going to like put toilet paper in if that’s what it came to…” Sofia flushes. “Thanks for not making me do that.”

“Fetch it, and I’ll make sure it fits appropriately.” As Sofia runs off to do as she’s told, Regina turns to Emma. “I still don’t feel comfortable leaving her this weekend.”

“Regina…”

“I’ve got a bad feeling. I can’t explain it, but you should trust me.”

“We’re not going that far away. If you want, we can have her call us twice a day—and if she doesn’t, we’ll come racing home.”

“I suppose that’s adequate…”

“Which one of us is supposed to be the Savior?” Emma teases, leaning in to kiss Regina’s cheek. “Relax. Nothing’s going to go wrong.”

0-0-0

“I still can’t believe how good you look!” Karen hangs on her elbow and continues raining praise into her ear. She’s told Karen to cut it out several times, but she privately feels a bit more confident. “I mean, they might not even recognize you!”

“My mom gave me breasts,” Sofia counters. “She didn’t change how my face looks, or make my hair longer, or really alter anything about what makes me who I am.”

“You’d be surprised. I bet all the guys’ll be looking at your new, fabulous tits, and they’ll think you’re some sort of transfer student—even though we don’t get those here.”

She snorts at the thought. She isn’t sure how that sort of attention will make her feel; on the one hand, she’s grateful for the magical addition to her body, and she wants people to notice them. On the other, she doesn’t want strangers ogling her. She wonders if she should have chosen a blouse with a higher cut.

“Stop worrying!” Karen kisses her cheek and drags her along. “I got Jack to drive us to the party, but he’ll totally leave us behind if we don’t show up on time.”

“So where is this thing?”

“The old mansion in the woods, which is totally perfect. The chances of us getting busted are so low out there—nobody to make noise complaints, y’know? So we can dance all night.”

“Yeah…” Sofia is less enthusiastic, but she tries to keep her spirits chipper. Expecting a bad night will only lead to a bad night, so she focuses on the positives: she’s with her best friend, and she’s wearing an outfit that makes her look great. “Did you happen to schedule a ride for us in case we want to leave?”

“I just figure we’ll find someone leaving at the same time and piggyback off them.” Karen shrugs. “Worst case, we walk back through the woods.”

“I still don’t get why you couldn’t just drive us?”

“I sorta lost my driving privileges.” Karen blushes. “I sorta backed into a fire hydrant, and I’m still working on paying my parents back. I can’t drive until I do. Sorry.”

“Let me guess… it just jumped out behind you while you were backing down the driveway?”

“Oh, yeah. Came out of nowhere!”

Sofia tilts her head toward a black Jeep parked by the curb. “That Jack?”

“Yup!” Karen waves at the driver, who yells for them to just get in the back. Once they’re seated and buckled in, Karen sets a hand on his shoulder and says, “Jack, be nimble! Jack, be quick!”

“You have one accident with a candle,” Jack grumbles. “Hush up, or you’ll be hoofing it.”

“Sorry.” Karen settles back against the seat and gestures to Sofia. “Jack, this is Sofia. Sofia, Jack.”

Sofia smiles at him, but he barely glances at her in the rearview mirror. “You look sorta familiar.”

“She’s been around.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” He swerves into traffic and drives quickly. Sofia holds onto the door for support as he jams on the brakes at every red light and stop sign. He glances at her several more times as he drives before enlightenment lights up his face. “Oh! You’re Mills, right?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so. Can’t go two feet in this town without running into someone related to you.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Hey, not like you chose it or nothing. Didn’t think you were really into parties.”

“I’m not, really. But Karen wanted to go…”

“Ah, Karen, you corrupter of the youths.” He takes a moment to swear at a car in another lane and then laughs. “But seriously, I heard this party is gonna be awesome. It’s a good starter party, so live it up.”

When the pull up to the Hatter’s old manor, Sofia is both nervous and relieved. She had expected Jack to crash the car—there had been a moment when they crested a hill that she thought Jack would fall down and break his crown, and they’d come tumbling after—but he’d maintained remarkable control over his vehicle. She stands outside on wobbling legs and thinks that she’ll need some time before she ever gets in a car with him again.

He slaps her on the back as he passes and winks as he disappears into the building. She can hear the loud music thumping even from this distance; Karen grabs her arm before she can have real second thoughts and drags her toward the front door as well.

The front hallway is packed with moving bodies. Some of the art on the wall hangs crookedly, and nobody seems willing to fix anything that’s gotten knocked. An abandoned vase lies shattered on the ground near the staircase, and the rug underfoot is horribly rumpled. Sofia wonders why so much of the Hatter’s belongings got left behind.

Karen tugs her through the people to the kitchen, where a plastic red cup is shoved into her hands. An amber liquid dribbles into the cup, and Karen smirks at her. She sniffs the beverage and takes a tentative sip. The taste makes her cringe, but she swallows down the rest in the hopes that she won’t have to drink more. Unfortunately, the dude pouring beverages sees this as a request for more and delivers. She grimaces and hopes her expression looks close enough to a grateful smile.

“You new around here?”

She shakes her head. “I wish.”

He laughs. “True that. Nick got a few kegs for us, so come back if you want more.”

How Nick got a few kegs, Sofia will never be sure. She follows Karen deeper into the party and keeps a tight grasp on her drink. Although she’s never been to something like this, she’s seen enough media and heard enough in health class to be wary of drugs. That rohypnol would be present in Storybrooke seems unlikely, but she’s not taking any chances—not when she’s also heard stories about transphobic bullying. She shouldn’t even be drinking around people she doesn’t know, she thinks.

That deed has been done, however. She resolves not to drink more because the one cup of quickly-downed liquid is making her feel a bit off balance.

Karen leads them to the living room, where the furniture has been pushed against the wall. Multicolored lights have been set up at the front of the room near a pair of speakers that are hooked into an old music player. As beats pound around them, Karen grabs her hand and forces her into the mob of people. Drink sloshes up onto her fingers, so she quickly discards the cup. She won’t be having more, she thinks, so she doesn’t need to keep track of anything but her personal belongings.

“Thanks for coming,” Karen shouts near her ear.

She sways with the music, her cheeks flushed with self-conscious embarrassment. She knows a bit of ballroom dancing, but the wild ways that her peers throw their bodies around is unfamiliar. She never used to care this much about fitting in, she thinks. Before, she was content to just be herself, but now, she feels a pressure to be just like every other girl. Her throat tightens.

“That doesn’t look like your fun face,” Karen teases. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Sofia yells back. “Just hot in here.”

“Don’t look now, but your new best friend is here.”

Sofia glances around, and at first, the throngs of people obscure his presence. She spots him lurking on the fringe of the dancers, his body shifting ever so slightly in time with the music. His arms are folded over his chest, though, and his expression remains sour—she wonders why he bothered throwing a party if he isn’t going to enjoy himself.

“We should stay out of his way.”

“Ugh, fine.” Karen twirls her around. “But aren’t you curious to see how he’ll react to your new tatas?”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to antagonize a guy who clearly doesn’t like me.”

“He just doesn’t know you.” Karen relents. “But fine. We’ll leave him alone. Are you having fun?”

The music is loud, the alcohol makes her feel odd, and she’s sweating—she’s definitely not used to the feeling of sweat clinging to her breasts. Then again, she thinks, she’s not used to anything regarding her breasts. They don’t bounce as much as she expected them to, but she keeps accidentally smacking herself in them when she reaches up to tug on the top of her shirt.

Still, despite her misgivings, she has to admit that she’s having fun. “I am. Thanks for dragging me here, even if I was kicking and screaming.”

“I think there was also some crying.”

“How about you? You having fun?”

“I haven’t gotten to dance in a long time. I was afraid for a while, y’know? Like if I started, maybe I couldn’t stop.” Karen halts her body and grins. “But I’m totally in control.”

“If you couldn’t dance, I was going to accuse the doctors of giving you two left feet.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“I wasn’t kidding earlier about feeling hot. Think we can pop outside?”

“Yeah, okay. I need some water anyway.”

Sofia shoots Nick one last glance before heading for the back porch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content in this chapter--both Nick and his lady love are eighteen.

Karen leans against her and takes a deep breath of night air—there are kids smoking nearby, so the air isn’t as pure as Sofia expects, but at least things smell less sweaty out here. She’s warm, but she doesn’t put Karen away. She’s glad she came, she decides, if only to experience her first party. Doing so with Karen takes away a bit of her anxiety, and thus far, nobody has harassed her about anything. The only way this could have been better, she thinks, is if Paige were with them.

She isn’t going to let such thoughts ruin her good time, however, so she pulls Karen back toward the dance floor as soon as she feels able. By the time she returns inside, Nick is no longer loitering nearby, and they’re both refreshed and ready to dance again.

0-0-0

Nick’s back hits a door, and he struggles to remain steady as the girl pressed against him goes after his mouth like she needs a kiss from him to live. He doesn’t mind kissing so much, but she seems more likely to eat him than to make out. She keeps a tight grip on his shirt with one hand and plays with his belt buckle with the other. She’s pretty, he notes, but he still hasn’t gotten her name.

At his gasped question, she kisses the tip of his chin, bites down, and then replies, “Ginny.”

“Are you sure?”

He fumbles with the doorknob behind his back and, when she laughingly tells him to stop worrying about her, guides them into what looks like a workroom. Too bad they hadn’t found a bedroom, he thinks—but his consternation is forgotten as she pushes him down into a chair. He glances only momentarily at the wide variety of hats lying around before his attention is redirected to her fingers, which are slowly unbuttoning her blouse.

He hadn’t thrown this party with the expectation of getting laid, but he isn’t going to complain. He leans forward, licking his lips and watching carefully. The blouse falls off her shoulders, revealing a white bra and plump stomach. She wanders close enough, and he catches her wrists to pull her in. He kisses her sternum and runs his fingers along the stretch marks on her hips. She giggles at his tickling touch and lifts his chin for another kiss.

He reaches behind her and fumbles with the clasp of her bra; although he’s been with other chicks before, he has yet to master the art of doing this smoothly. When he gets frustrated, he twirls her around so that he can actually see what he’s doing. Once the irritating scrap of clothing is discarded, he allows her to turn around once more, and his gaze scoots down to her freshly revealed chest.

She drops to her knees and deftly unbuttons and unzips his jeans—he stands to help her remove them and then drops back into the chair as her hand ghosts over his shaft. Mouth very dry, he tells her there’s a condom in his back pocket. The wait between speaking and her sliding the rubber onto him is torture, and he grips the arms of the chair tightly. When her mouth follows the condom, he nearly loses control. He does, however, have a reputation to maintain, so he pictures the woman who lives down the lane; she’s old and gnarled, and the thought of her keeps him from climaxing right then and there.

Still, he knows he doesn’t have long before he comes, so he allows her to bob against him for a short time and then pushes her gently away. She yanks her skirt and panties off, turns to the work desk beside him, shoves the hats aside, and hops up. He eagerly stands and follows, grunting and groaning as she positions him just so and eases down onto him.

Moments after he enters her, the room fills with a blast of intense, teal light. She falls away from him as they both tumble to the ground, guarding their eyes and scrambling for their clothing. His erection deflates at the sound of something growling in the opposite corner of the room—he can’t see what the thing is, but nothing good makes noises like that, he determines. He tugs his clothing back on, helps her cover up, and then sprints for the door. She hurries past him with smeared makeup and panicked eyes.

Once he slams the door behind them, she gnaws on her lower lip and asks, “What was that?”

“I don’t know. The Hatter was into some dark shit. Maybe he had booby-traps in his house?”

She paws hair from her face. “Whatever it was, it sounded angry.”

The room is silent now that they’re outside. He wants to check and see if they were suffering from a joint delusion or if the beast is real, but fear keeps him from looking. He keeps his back pressed to the door, aware that he is in no way prepared for or capable of dealing with whatever’s inside. He doesn’t think anyone is—

But then he remembers seeing Sofia dancing. He grits his teeth, grimaces, and grabs Ginny’s arm. “I think I know someone who can help. Let’s go.”

“You’re just going to leave it in there?”

He’s about to tell her that she’s welcome to stay behind and guard the door when the sound of shattering glass sends them both back into the room. The window on the far wall has been blasted outward, and there’s nothing in the room but torn-up hats. The walls are clawed, and giant gouges have been ripped out of the floor.

“Uh…” She clutches his arm. “You know someone?”

0-0-0

Sofia twists and turns, quite at ease with herself. Several of her classmates have complimented her new outfit, which she thinks means they have noticed her chest. Having them doesn’t make her more of a woman, she thinks, but she’s never felt this at ease with herself. The music blares loudly around them, but Sofia doesn’t mind in the slightest. As Karen mentioned earlier, there’s nobody near enough to call the cops on the party, so they’re free to do as they please.

Her fun halts as she twirls around and finds herself face to face with Nick, who looks stricken. Predicting some sort of tirade, she frowns. “Look, I know you didn’t invite me–”

“I’m glad you’re here–”

“Well, that’s a surprise,” she interrupts his interruption. “I can leave if you want, but I’m not causing any problems.”

“You’re not,” he agrees. “But there… uh, there might be a problem… “

“What?”

“Keep your voice down.” He lifts his hands, palms flat toward her. She can see how badly he’s shaking, and that visual is enough to convince her that he’s actually trying to communicate something to her.

The music is too loud to hear anything, she decides, so she hollers back, “Tell me somewhere quiet, then!”

He nods and moves toward the staircase; there’s a girl following close behind him that Sofia hadn’t noticed before. If he can have a lady friend, so can she. She grabs Karen’s sleeve and drags the dancing girl with her. Nick and his friend stop outside of a door and exchange worried glances.

“What’s all this about?” Karen peers at the door behind them. “This isn’t some sort of weird hazing thing, is it?”

“No.” Nick rubs the back of his neck. “Look, Henry–”

“Sofia.”

“Mills.” Nick clears his throat. “I know you have no reason to help me, but if you don’t do something–well, it’s not just me that’ll be in trouble.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No.” He glances over his shoulder and then at his friend. “Well, not from me. It’s more a guess? But then again, we don’t even know…”

“Nick, just show her.”

“Fine.” He sucks in a deep breath, grabs the handle, and opens the door.

Sofia steps past him and enters the room, where the breath catches in her throat. She heads first for the wall and traces her fingers over the claw marks. They’re large, she notes, which means that whatever mauled the walls is large. The floor receives similar treatment and tells her the same information. The place where the damage is most severe is behind the work table. A shredded hat sits in the center of the scratching.

“What happened?”

“There was a thing,” Ginny replies. “We were in here for just like a second or two, and we heard growling, so we left. Then there was glass shattering, so we came back in, and all this had happened. I’m so glad we left. That could have been us.”

Something is missing from her story, Sofia determines, but she’s not sure if the omission is important or just embarrassing. “When you came in, was it already in here?”

“I–I don’t know.” Ginny glances at Nick, who flushes and looks at the broken window. “We weren’t exactly looking for a monster.”

“What were you doing?”

“Talking.” Nick folds his arms over his chest. “We came in here to talk.”

Karen bends down and rescues Ginny’s discarded panties, which had gotten left behind in their hurry to leave earlier. She snorts and lifts them for all to see. “What an interesting talk you had. Was it enlightening?”

“Very.” Ginny snatches her undergarment back and frowns.

Nick steps in front of her and jabs a finger at Karen’s shoulder. “Don’t you talk to her like that.”

Sofia pushes his shoulder and forces him away from Karen. “Don’t talk to her like that, either. Back off, or we won’t help you. How about instead of harassing my friend, you tell us what actually happened?” **  
**

He grunts but recognizes that he does need help. “Fine. We came in here to have sex. Some hats got knocked off the table, and there was this bright light. After that, we heard growling, and we left. What she said is true–we heard glass breaking, so we came back in. That’s when we went and found you.”

“Guys, the Hatter’s hats can function as transdimensional portals.” Sofia squats near the shredded remains and picks up a scrap of fabric. “Whatever happened, I bet something from somewhere else came through.”

Karen peers out the window and hesitantly ducks her head outside. “That something is out there, now.”

“We should call the police.”

Nick shakes his head. “I’m not going to have this on my record, Mills. Not all of us are related to law enforcement.”

At the mention of her relatives, Sofia groans. “My moms are out of town. They’re the ones equipped to handle this sort of thing. Only Gramps is at the station this weekend.”

“He could still help.”

“That’s true.” Sofia tugs her phone out of her pocket, but there’s no signal coming in. Given that the Hatter was a paranoid person, she determines that he likely had things like that blocked to keep people from spying on him or contacting him. “If I want to call, I’ll have to go outside.”

“Seriously? But… it’s out there…”

“We don’t know that it’s hanging around. It could be heading for town right now. We have to warn them.” Although she is afraid of getting attacked, she knows what she’s said is true. If she can get word to Charming, then she can both get help here and make sure nobody in town gets hurt.

As Sofia and Karen walk away, Nick turns to Ginny and offers her a hesitant smile. “I’m sorry about that.”

“No, it’s okay.” She fiddles with her hair. “That would have been nice. Y’know, if there wasn’t a monster and all.”

“Yeah, it would have.”

They stare at each other for a long few seconds before Nick busies himself with neatening the mess they’d made. He’s had a number of casual encounters, but he’s never been one for a real relationship–he’s not used to spending time with people outside his family and bros, and he has no idea what to say to her now that they’re alone and clothed.

0-0-0

“I really don’t want to go outside.” Karen stays close even as she steps out onto the back porch.

She checks her phone and determines that she’ll need to get a bit farther away to get a strong enough signal to make the call. She lets Karen know that she can do this alone, but Karen straightens her shoulders, puffs out her chest, and marches along behind her. Every small sound makes her flinch, and her fingers leap to Sofia’s arm at the particularly loud snap of a twig.

“Okay. I’ve got full bars now. Keep an eye out?”

Karen scans the trees as Sofia dials the number for the sheriff’s department. The phone rings once, but then static blasts her ear; startled, she drops the phone. Karen pulls her own phone out and tries calling home with the same lack of success. She uses her screen as a flashlight to help Sofia find her phone on the forest floor.

“What now?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. Why can’t we make a call out?”

“Well, I’m definitely not an expert on any of this, but maybe the monster is doing it?”

Inside the mansion, Nick finishes placing the last hat back on the worktable. He sighs mournfully as he considers what they’d been doing prior to releasing who knew what from a hat. She touches his elbow and draws his attention.

“Should we start, like, evacuating people?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? They didn’t really leave us instructions. I don’t want to start a panic, though. That’s the last thing we need. Maybe we could find someone acting a bit too wild and tell them to leave.”

“It’s a start.” She rubs her thumb along his arm. “That’s pretty smart.”

He bristles. “I’m not dumb—“

“I wasn’t saying you were.”

“Just because I don’t do that great in school…”

He stares at the ground. The grades he does receive are exemplary, but he just can’t bring himself to care about most subjects. He knows the basics, so he doesn’t see the point in going to each class, especially when the textbook teaches him much better than any living instructor. The school can’t get rid of him because he aces his finals, no matter how poor his attendance record is. The moment he sets foot out of line—he grimaces.

“I wasn’t saying you were dumb. Just that I was impressed with the suggestion. I would have caused a mass panic or something.”

He shrugs. “I mean, your way would probably clear people out of here quick.”

“Good save.” She pulls away, and he wishes he’d said more nice things to her. “Come on. Let’s go find a hoodlum.”

While Nick and Ginny search for someone to eject from the party, Sofia presses her phone to her forehead. Karen watches the darkness around them warily, as if the monster could attack them at any moment. Sofia doesn’t blame her—until they know what they’re up against, that very well may be true.

“So…?” Karen fidgets nervously. “Do we go back?”

They could go a bit farther, Sofia considers. Perhaps if they go far enough away, her signal would come back. Then again, there remains the chance that this would simply be wasting time, and they’ll be better off going back to the Hatter’s mansion. She taps the phone against her head and wishes for a sign to guide her decision.

In the distance, she hears the roaring of a car engine thrumming to life. Raucous shouting and hollering soon join the noise; she grabs Karen’s arm and drags Karen toward the road—if someone is heading back into town, they can perhaps grab a lift. That way she’s not wasting time, and they can get help. They scramble through the dark brush, tripping over tree roots and stumbling through bushes in their haste.

They reach the main road just in time to see a pair of headlights zip past them. Sofia grimaces, but this is just one missed opportunity. Someone else could be convinced to leave, she thinks. They’ll just have to grab the next lift into town.

“Lucky them,” Karen mutters. She stands in the road and stares after the taillights with a hand pressed to the back of her head and a frown on her lips.

“There are other cars here. We’ll find a ride.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Sofia turns to head back into the mansion, but she stops as the forest is suddenly filled with the crunching of metal and screaming. Although Karen is yelling at her to get inside, she sprints into the darkness. Even though she’s afraid, she knows that someone has to provide assistance. Based on her lineage, she knows that someone is her.

She jogs for a few minutes and then spots something burning in the distance. 

Breaking into a sprint, she rushes for what used to be the frame of a sports car. The fire covers most of the car, but she tries to get close to see if anyone is still trapped inside. She blocks some of the heat and light with her hand and peers at the wreckage.

The top of the car is gone; long, deep claw marks gouge what remains of the sides, and the front wheel is completely deflated. Sofia accidentally kicks something and glances down instinctively. She wishes instantly that she hadn’t, as she spots what looks like a severed hand. Pressing a hand to her lips, she scans the trees and sky for signs of whatever did this.

“Sofia!”

“Don’t come any closer.” Sofia backs away. There’s nothing they can do here, and she’s not going to put Karen in any danger. “We need to get back to the house. Just trust me on this.”

Karen stares behind her, mouth open and hands trembling. “What happened? Are they okay?”

“I don’t know. But come on. We can’t stay out here.” Sofia pushes her shoulder. “Please. We’ll talk about this inside.”

Karen follows her and lobs questions at her, but she has no answers and nothing she can say to explain what she saw. By the time they reach the mansion, most guests are standing out front—they’re milling around and chattering curiously. When they approach, the crowd falls silent. Karen nudges Sofia, and Sofia clears her throat.

“Uh, we need to get back inside.”

“What happened?”

Wanting to avoid a panic, she shakes her head. “There was an accident. I called the police, but it’ll be a while before anyone else can leave. I’m sure they’ll get the scene cleaned up soon.”

“Are Josh and Lonny okay?”

“The accident was pretty bad…” Sofia fidgets. “We’ll know more later, I bet.”

“So we can’t leave?”

“Not for awhile. Just go back inside, okay?” She spots Nick loitering near the front door and sighs when he waves her over. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

As people begin to talk once more, she heads through the crowd to Nick’s side. He rubs at his eyes as she approaches, and she wonders if he’s trying not to cry. Moments later, his expression is hard, and she decides she was seeing things.

“How long until the police get here?”

“Let’s go back to the hat room.” He’s going to argue, so she lifts her hand and points toward the stairs. “I don’t want anyone overhearing this, okay? There are thirty people here, and that’s more than enough to start a panic.”

“Fine, Mills. But hurry up.”

As soon as they step into the room, Sofia halts. There’s someone standing by the window; the figure turns when they enter and murmurs a very quiet, “What happened here?”

Sofia flicks the lights on and stares at Paige with a rapidly thudding heart. “What are you doing here?”

“I came—well, I wanted to…” She stares at the damage around her and shakes her head. “That can wait. This… This can’t.”

“There was an accident,” Nick answers, discomfort radiating from his hunched posture. “There’s something in the woods.”

“Something that came from a hat.”

“Yeah,” Sofia confirms. “But we don’t know what. Would your dad know anything?”

“Good luck getting ahold of him…” Paige sighs. “But he might have some journals around here. Then again, most of these hats were made before magic was brought to Storybrooke—he wouldn’t have been able to get through any of them before, so he probably wouldn’t have known what was on the other side of the portals.”

“That’s our only lead right now.”

“Should we be worried that other things will come through the others?”

“It only activated once they tossed it off the table, I think.” Sofia looks around. The other hats, no matter how dangerous their contents, look innocuous enough. “Can we lock this door?”

“Not unless we lock someone inside.” Karen examines the door handle. “And I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to be sitting in here with the giant hole in the window.”

“Yeah, no.” Nick shudders and then stiffens. “I mean, we could leave someone outside to make sure nobody got in, but I think we can leave things well enough alone. If we start acting like there’s something going on in this room, then people will want to get inside. We’re making it more tempting by saying people can’t come in, when they probably wouldn’t want to if we left it alone.”

“He’s got a point. So, let’s pretend like there’s nothing wrong in here, and nothing special about the hats, and then we’ll deal with them later. Right now, the monster takes precedence.”

“Okay. So what first? You’re the expert, Mills.”

Sofia flushes. “I’m not an expert. My family’s dealt with a lot of weird stuff, but I’m not—I’ll do my best, but I…”

“You’re fine,” Paige whispers. She takes a hesitant step toward Sofia. “I—I’m sorry, okay?”

Sofia’s glad to hear those words, but the earlier rejection still stings. Without an explanation, the apology means little. Still, there’s a monster on the loose, and her personal issues can be addressed later.

“Show us where his journals are.”


	7. Chapter 7

Paige looks like she has something else to say, but she swallows down her thoughts, nods stiffly, and leads them all from the room. On the opposite end of the second floor, she pushes a door open into a small library; none of the books, however, are published tomes. Instead, every book is a diary.

Sofia directs Nick and Ginny to go make sure the remaining guests are staying inside and remaining calm. She, Karen, and Paige will begin sorting through journals, she decides, and then they’ll switch duties. Every hour, she’ll try her phone again, and sooner or later, they’ll either find an answer or she’ll contact Charming. Everyone seems to be on board with her plan, which bolsters her confidence.

She grabs a handful of journals and plops down onto the ground. She gets through two pages before Paige scoots closer and taps a finger on the floor in front of her. She wants to scold Paige for the interruption, but there’s something in Paige’s expression that stays her chiding.

“What?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“And it can’t wait?”

“If some sort of monster is out there, I think I need to say this now. I know it’s not really ideal timing, but what if we don’t get another chance?”

“Okay.” Sofia glances at Karen, but Karen is trying to concentrate very visibly on the text in her hands. “Go for it. What’s so important?”

“I didn’t treat you very well, so I understand if you don’t want to hear it—“

“Just skip the apologies, okay?”

She rubs her fingers together. “I know this is really self-centered because your transition is your deal, but… I’m struggling.”

“I am who I am—“

“I’m not struggling with you, Sofia. You are who you are, and I think that’s wonderful.” Paige’s voice hitches. “I’m struggling with me.”

Without having an angry rant as a response, Sofia stares wordlessly at her friend. “What do you mean?”

“Even as a girl, you’re still a dumb boy.” Paige wipes at her eyes, although Sofia sees no tears. “I loved you as Henry, so I didn’t know what to do when you came out as Sofia. Those feelings didn’t go away—but I’m not… I’m not gay… Or I didn’t think I was…”

Sofia rubs her forehead. “I never really thought about what being me would do to other people. Like, this never occurred to me as a possible side effect, y’know? I am sorry—I never meant to give you some sort of early-life crisis.”

“I still don’t have an answer, but I realized I could either sit at home and ruin our friendship until I figured it out, or I could let you in. Seeing as I gave you a hard time about not telling me your secret immediately, I decided to not be a total hypocrite. The thing is, you’ve been thinking about this for years. Years! Not once in seventeen years have I questioned my sexuality. I liked boys. I liked you. Everything fit into the way I understood my world.

“And then you came out, and it was like I’m suddenly not exactly who I thought I was.” She wrinkles her nose. “I was and am totally fine with you being you. It’s me being me that’s really difficult to understand now. But I can’t let that stand in the way of being your friend because you’re really important to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Sofia replies. She sets her hand hesitantly on Paige’s. “I really, really am.”

“You could be bisexual, y’know?” Karen glances up from her book. “Or demi. You never know. I mean, I think it’s arbitrary in the long run. You like who you like, and you are who you are. I try not to think about it too much, otherwise I just get confused and a little sad.”

“I don’t even know. But, I… I still like you, Sofia. Whatever that means, and whatever that’s worth.”

Sofia nibbles on her lower lip. “I think we need to talk about this when our lives aren’t potentially in danger.”

“That’s fine.” Paige clears her throat. “Thanks for listening, anyway.”

Sofia smiles at her, taking just a moment from their frantic search to try and reassure her that things will work out. She’s not sure what she wants, but she knows how much Paige means to her. Paige grins back, but she’s not sure there’s much happiness in the expression. Still, this is something she can worry about later—when there’s not a monster in the woods.

She turns her attention back to the books before her. The first few she pages through are useless. The Hatter knows what all the numbers mean, she assumes, but she doesn’t have time try and figure out if the figures scrawled throughout are measurements for hats or an elaborate code. She hopes there is more useful information elsewhere, or at least notes written in English, so this isn’t a total waste of time.

She tosses one book aside and selects another. The date in the corner of the first page is from several years before her birth. This book gets set beside Paige, who casts a curious glance down at the offering.

“He loves you a lot, doesn’t he?”

She picks the book up and reads about how she spent her days. Although the contents are somewhat unnerving, she knows he had no other way of connecting with her. Hugging the journal to her chest, she nods. “Even if he can’t show it.”

“Have you found anything?”

Karen has a pile of six books beside her, and she shakes her head negatively at the question. Paige mirrors the action, and Sofia grunts. She hadn’t expected immediate results, she thinks, but if they don’t find something quickly, chances are that the thing will strike again. As far as she knows, only two people have been injured, but that number could very easily grow.

 

“We’re not getting anywhere!” Karen throws her hands in the air minutes later. “There are so many damn books, and there’s no way in the whole world we’ll ever find anything remotely useful.”

“I think I found something.” Paige lifts a book and smirks at Karen, who frowns at her in disbelief. “He kept a list of the different lands he’d encountered back when he was portal jumping in the Enchanted Forest.”

“So?”

Sofia stares at Karen until she shrugs sheepishly. Paige rolls her eyes and continues, “So, he also kept track of what monsters and creatures he encountered. There’s one that I think fits the bill pretty well, at least in terms of claw size and ability to deal damage.”

When Paige turns the book to reveal the sketched illustration, Sofia peers closely at the design—the thing looks almost like a dragon, she notes, with taut wings and long claws. Unlike the dragons she sees in movies, however, this has a snub nose, three eyes, and looks closer to a lion than a lizard.

“What is it?”

“Ajatar.” Paige pulls the book back. “He says that it’s basically a big bad forest spirit.”

“Did he happen to write how to kill it?” Karen tries to grab the book to read for herself, but Paige dances away. “Stop being a book hog, Paige.”

“These are my dad’s books,” Paige argues, “so they’re pretty much my books. I’m not hogging anything that doesn’t belong, basically, to me.”

“Guys.” Sofia sighs. “Maybe we can talk about fighting this tar monster instead of each other?”

“Ajatar.”

“Right. That thing.”

“That’s a great idea.” Paige plops down. “You know, when I came out here to talk to you, I didn’t realize I’d be putting my life on the line.”

“You really should get used to stuff like this happening in Storybrooke.”

0-0-0

As the girls research, Nick does his best to keep his party guests calm. When strange screeches start sounding outside, he claims that drunken people must be getting rowdy. When no sirens ever approach to deal with the accident, he shrugs and suggests that the roads might be bad. Things are going well, he thinks, leaning against the front door and surveying his charges.

Now that they’re inside again, most people are content to drink so more and dance like they have no inhibitions, which, he muses, they likely don’t. There are a few that look worried, but so far nobody is making a break for the road or the woods. A few people have been asking about their cell phones, and he’s smart enough to tell them what Sofia deduced earlier: the Hatter is probably blocking things, so they shouldn’t worry.

This placates most, and the suspicious few are quiet enough that he isn’t going to worry about them. When Ginny comes to stand by his side, her expression is the one thing that makes his stomach clench.

“What’s wrong?”

“Rodney left out the back door before I could stop him.”

“What?”

“I saw him leaving, so I went after him. I’m sorry, but I just… I couldn’t go into the woods. I didn’t want to yell after him because I know we’re trying to keep things calm, but… I thought you should know.”

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Okay. Well. I—Maybe he’ll be okay? Maybe he’ll get back to town just fine.”

“Yeah, maybe…” She sounds doubtful, so he curls an arm around her shoulders.

“Look, we can’t do much right now about anything. Not until Mills and his girlfriends figure out what’s out there.”

She inches away from him. “Y’know, you shouldn’t keep calling her a him.”

“Not you, too.”

He’s cute, Ginny muses sadly, but she’s afraid that he’s not using his mind to its full potential. From his reputation around school, she knows that he’s more prone to using his muscles than his mind when he solves problems, but she had assumed this was merely a preference and not a defect in his mental capabilities. Unfortunately, he’s either stubborn, confused, or stupid—and she’s not sure which will be easiest to overcome, or if doing so is even her responsibility. She could just walk away after this evening and never speak to him again.

“Nick, I’m going to say this once, okay? And I’m saying this because I think you’re attractive, and I do want to spend more time with you.” Ginny pauses until he’s looking quite seriously at her. “No matter what you say, do, or think, Sofia is going to do what she knows is right for her. The more you fight, the more energy you are wasting—and this isn’t some sort of cosmic energy, ready for consumption—this is your personal energy that you’re throwing away.”

“I’m not—“

“Repeat after me: Sofia is a nice girl.”

He glares at her. “You don’t understand—“

“No, you don’t. And if you can’t understand something as simple as this, then maybe I made a mistake.” She shrugs. She knows she’s being harsh in this moment, but there’s a potentially lethal monster lurking in the woods outside, and her stress levels have never been this high before. She hasn’t personally seen the damage, but she has seen the fear in Sofia’s eyes, which is a good enough reflection of the horror that must have transpired out there. There’s no time to coddle his feelings—they either have to work together or separate immediately to avoid further conflict. They can’t fight a monster if they’re fighting each other.

Gritting his teeth, Nick stares silently at her for a few long seconds. She’s being obtuse, he decides. She won’t listen to him, and she won’t budge from her position, which makes discussion difficult. These thoughts feel a bit like a blow to his stomach, and a gasp of air escapes him. He just described himself, he thinks. Still, he doesn’t know why he should leave his position if she isn’t willing to do the same.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets. She’s hot, so he doesn’t want to piss her off. There has to be a way that he doesn’t have to lie but she doesn’t walk away.

“Well, good. Because we’re going to have to fight that thing out there sooner or later, and I’d really rather not die.”

“I just…”

He rubs the back of his neck. They have to stay and keep an eye on things, but he wishes they could retire to somewhere more private for what he has to say. Nobody is paying too much attention to them, though, so he determines he’ll be fairly safe in explaining things to her where they are. He pulls his sleeve back up over his shoulder so she can see small, circular scars nestled among his freckles.

She trails her fingers over the marks and returns her attention to him. “What are they? What do they have to do with anything?”

“I asked for an easel and paints for Christmas three years ago.” When she doesn’t seem to understand, he sighs and elaborates, “Dad put his cigarettes out on me for days because I asked for something like that. Something girly. I got a BB gun under the tree instead.”

“Painting isn’t girly. Like, look at all those famous dead guys.”

“Tell that to my dad.”

“That’s awful.”

“I didn’t tell you because you’re supposed to feel bad.” He pulls his sleeve down and folds his arms over his chest. “I’m telling you because you gotta understand that there’s a way of things in the world. You do what you have to because that’s how it is. Henry is a dude, and he’s going to get hurt if he keeps dressing like this. He’s gonna get much worse than a couple burns.”

“Well, even if that were true, imagine yourself in her shoes. She knows what she’s risking—but this is so important to her that she’s going to take that risk because this is who she is, and this is how it is.”

He blinks several times in rapid succession as he searches for a counter argument. “Well, he doesn’t know how dangerous—“

“Stop trying to tell her what to do. You’re not her father, okay?”

“That’s because he’s got two dyke moms.” She slaps his shoulder as hard as she can and stalks away. He grimaces, recognizing that he’s definitely in the doghouse, and hurries after her. Grabbing her wrist, he turns her back around. “That’s what my dad says—“

“That’s what you say, Nick, and that’s the problem. Take some responsibility for yourself. You can’t hide behind daddy your entire life. Maybe you learned the wrong lesson from those cigarettes. Ever consider that?”

He shakes his head. “There—“

“Nick. Let go of my arm.” He complies, so she continues, “Maybe you should have learned to ask for help instead of learning to conform to shitty standards that you think you can enforce on anyone you want.”

“Help? Nobody in this shitty town helps me or my sister,” he snaps, his temper flaring. His hands curl into fists. “Don’t take that tone and pretend like you know me.”

“Just stay away from me,” she riposts. “That’s best for both of us. And do Sofia a favor and leave her alone, too.”

Nick fumed as she marches away from him—the only thing he’s grateful for in that moment is that nobody around them seems to be paying any attention to him whatsoever. The indignity he’s suffering right now is invisible, which is the way things should be. He shakes his head, trying to clear her ridiculous comments from his mind and turns to survey his party once more. The evening had started with so much promise, he thinks. He hadn’t even minded spotting Henry among his guests—even if Henry was sporting a new pair of perky breasts.

He had successfully resisting openly gawking; he wasn’t a queer, after all, and a pair of boobs didn’t make Henry a girl. Henry just needs to toughen up, he decides, and this whole thing with a monster is just the right way for Henry to become a man. When they figure out a plan, he wants to take Henry into the forest to slay the beast—which was how his ancestors used to cross the threshold between childhood and adulthood. At least that’s his assumption, and he’s in no position to do any real research. By the end of the night, Henry’s going to be right again.

0-0-0

In the library, Sofia reads the information over and over again, as if there’ll be something helpful this time around, but the text yields nothing more than a few sparse sentences about how dangerous an ajatar is. There’s no information on weaknesses or what to do when facing one. She has no idea how anyone is supposed to take down a big bad forest spirit, especially one that can destroy a car to the extent she witnessed.

“This isn’t going to get us anywhere.” Karen pulls her phone out of her pocket in the hopes that the internet will still be available even if phone calls are impossible. She types in a quick search and then grunts her disappointment as nothing loads in response. “What are we supposed to do?”

Sofia shrugs, fear and frustration welling up in her. She doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, and she feels entirely responsible for taking care of business. The weight on her shoulders is enormous, and she wishes she had just a bit of Emma’s Savior-ing ability. She nibbles on her lower lip as she considers what Emma might do in a situation like this—smiling, she realizes that Emma had famously thrown a sword at a dragon and shot at an ogre. In this situation, Emma wouldn’t have any idea, either.

Regina would, though. Regina is the one with all the experience with magical creatures, and all Sofia knows is that she shouldn’t shoot an ogre or throw a sword at a dragon. She rubs the back of her neck. “I think the first thing is figuring out how to get everyone back to town safely. I don’t think we can do anything about the ajatar alone. We need my mom for that.”

“A car wasn’t enough,” Karen replies. “So, what do you suggest?”

“If we had a big enough distraction, I bet we could lure it in the opposite direction so everyone could get home. Town isn’t that far away. We could make it if we ran.”

“Someone would have to create the distraction.”

Sofia nods slowly. “I’ll do it. Don’t worry about me.”

Paige grabs her arm. “No, you can’t. What if you get hurt?”

The thought had occurred to her, but protecting her peers is more important than safeguarding her wellbeing. “I’ll deal with that later if it happens.”

Paige nibbles on her lower lip, and Sofia wonders what the other girl is thinking so hard about. She doubts Paige will offer to go with, and she wouldn’t want Paige to either offer or attempt to tag along. There’s the possibility that Paige will try to stop her, but she’s made up her mind. She’s doing this, and nobody can change her mind. She has a small amount of hope that Paige can come up with an alternative plan that seems less risky, but they don’t have much time, as they have no idea when the thing will return to the house, or what it’s up to in the woods. The quicker they handle this, the better.

“Uh… I’m going to go check on Nick and that girl.” Karen edges to the door with a sheepish smile. She waggles her eyebrows at Sofia and taps the tips of her forefingers together. Sofia stares at her until the door swings shut, leaving her alone with Paige.

“She’s acting weird.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Paige swallows hard and steps closer, her gaze shifting none-too-subtly between Sofia’s eyes and her lips. “Look, I know we said this would wait, but if you’re really going out there to distract a big bad forest spirit, then, well, I just…”

“Just…?” Sofia feels breathless, although she knows she can still breathe quite easily.

“I also know that this is really trite,” Paige rambles onward. Her fingers fiddle awkwardly with the hem of her shirt, and she still hasn’t stopped nibbling on her lip.

Sofia understands what Paige wants and ponders for a moment if this is truly the right way to do things. She’d kissed a girl the year before because that’s what she thought was expected of her, but she is pleasantly surprised to find that she wants kiss Paige without any sort of outside pressure. She knows she could say no and push Paige away, but instead, she leans unceremoniously forward and presses their lips together.

Paige’s lips are soft, and Sofia lets her eyes flutter closed even though the kiss is brief. When their mouths separate, Sofia rests her forehead against Paige’s. She doesn’t know what this means or what she wants, but she does know that this isn’t an unpleasant experience. Paige’s hands wrap around hers, and she tilts her face forward for a second kiss, just as gentle as the first.

The door pops open, and Ginny barges in with Karen close behind. She skids to a halt and sighs. “C’mon, guys. This is the sort of thing that got us into this mess in the first place. Can’t that wait?”

Sofia jerks back with a blush and nods. She meets Karen’s gaze, and Karen shrugs as if to say she tried. The interruption is for the best, she decides. Kissing Paige is too nice and too distracting. They have a mission to accomplish. “Yeah. Of course. Yes.”

“So, was this all that was going on in here? Or do we have a plan?”

Paige gestures to Sofia. “She’s going to create a distraction for us. Then we’re going to get everyone safely to town and find the authorities, who can deal with the ajatar.”

“Okay, so it has a name? And we have a plan?”

“Yes on both counts.” Sofia stands a bit straighter. “You guys are in charge of the quick and calm evacuation.”

“What sort of distraction are you going to create?”

Sofia shrugs. “I’m pretty good at thinking on my feet. Gimme a few minutes, and I’m sure I’ll come up with something.”

“Did you want help? Because, well, this is sorta my fault, and I can’t just leave you to take care of it alone.”

“There are a lot of kids here,” Sofia replies. Going through with this alone is intimidating, but she cannot ask anyone else to risk her life. “You’re needed here.”

With that settled, Sofia focuses on what she can do as a distraction. She doesn’t want to cause permanent harm to the forest, so she can’t set anything on fire, and she doesn’t have magic, so she can’t create an illusion. When the creature went after the car that was leaving, it had likely been attracted by the noises the teenagers had been making. Sofia determines that this is her best shot—she’ll have to mimic that and head in the opposite direction.

Still, she doesn’t want the thing attacking her. She’s brave, but she’s not reckless. She pulls her phone out and opens the voice recording application. With that in hand, she enters the more populated areas of the party and records the raucous noises therein. As she records, Karen touches her elbow to get her attention.

“How will we know it’s safe to start moving people?”

Not for the first time, Sofia thinks about the serious risk they’re taking—that these guests are taking, even unaware as they are. If she cannot successfully create a diversion, she’s sending them out to be slaughtered, too. Still, she and Karen had been out in the woods when the car got attacked; other than a few uneasy feelings, they hadn’t been harmed.

“Give me twenty minutes,” Sofia says. “And make sure everyone leaves quietly. I don’t know for sure, but I think the thing dislikes noise… Maybe dislikes disruptions to its forest. That’s the only difference between that car and us—we were quiet, and the car wasn’t. That’s why it got hit but we were fine, I think.”

“Makes sense to me.” Karen shifts back to let partygoers meander past them and then leans close again. “You’re the bravest person I know, y’know?”

“I’m not going to be any more in danger than you guys.”

Karen shakes her head. “I just mean… everything. Forgetting the forest monster and all this. You’re just you, and that’s… more than I can say about me.”

Sofia hugs her around the shoulders and gives her a small shove toward the front entrance. “Remember, give me twenty minutes.”


	8. Chapter 8

Nick spots Sofia heading for the backdoor and hurries after. Grabbing Sofia’s arm, he turns her around and grins—this is his chance. He may have missed out on what the plan is, but clearly Sofia is implementing something. She yanks her arm out of his grasp and points toward the party.

“Go help them get ready to evacuate people.”

“I’m going with you.”

She’s thought a few times about how going alone is terrifying, but she also knows that she’d be very upset if anything were to happen to anyone who dared come with her. Additionally, spending extra time with Nick of all people is not something she wants to do. She shakes her head and points again.

“This is something I have to do.”

“Do you know how to navigate the woods?”

“What? I’ll just come straight back.”

“Speaking as someone whose had to get out of the woods on his own several times, I think you could use my help.”

“I can’t risk you getting hurt.”

“I know what’s at stake.”

“No. You didn’t see what I saw.” She pushes his shoulder as she recalls the destroyed vehicle on the main road. “You don’t even know what we’re up against.”

“I can help you.”

“You couldn’t even help me with calculus.”

He winces—he’s glad she never reported his behavior to those in charge, as he’s fairly certain he’d get reprimanded for treating her like he did. “That’s because I wasn’t trying.”

“Try helping them evacuate.” She glances at her phone and notes that her battery life is beginning to run low. She’ll have enough time but only if she stops sitting around and arguing. “Go.”

He watches her leave, waits about twenty seconds, and then follows after. As he goes, he digs into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. From the back pouch, he dumps all his change into his palm. Every ten feet, he drops a coin.

Sofia sets off at a steady pace, although she keeps her ears at high alert in case something dangerous comes near her. So far, all she hears is the natural thrum of the forest, from the hooting of the occasional owl to the wind whistling through the leaves and branches. She does her best to walk in a completely straight line so that she can simply turn around head back to the house once her task is accomplished: she wants to get a fair distance away, turn the phone’s playback on, and then sprint away before harm can befall her.

She never thought that coming to the party would end like this; she expected, if anything, that Nick would cause problems for her. Instead, the party had started rather well. She smiles as she recalls how her classmates responded to her. There is no dread in her stomach about going to school on Monday morning—as long as she gets there, she reminds herself. This is no time to let her thoughts drift. She grips her phone more tightly and picks up her pace. When she trips on a root not fifteen feet later, she lets her pace slow once more.

She has sixteen minutes until the evacuation starts. She has no need to sprint and potentially break her phone, should she drop the device if she fell. As she moves through the trees, she wonders if things will continue to go so smoothly. As long as everyone does as they ought, she can’t refuses to imagine anything else.

A twig cracks behind her, and her fight-or-flight response kicks in. Heart thrumming madly, she sprints into the waiting darkness—the farther she can get from the house before getting caught, the better a chance her peers stand. She doesn’t dare look behind her as she bolts.

0-0-0

Nick drops his coins and keeps his eyes on Sofia. When the time is right, he’ll approach her—but until then, he’s content to trail behind her and act as guard. He transfers his gaze to the trees periodically to make sure nothing is either hiding behind a trunk or waiting in the branches, but he has yet to spot anything that worries him. Most of the wildlife is quiet, which strikes him as unusual, but the animals could just be scared of the two humans clomping through their home. He glances behind him, glad to see that the moonlight is just barely reflecting off his coin trail. He’s starting to run out of change, however, so he hopes Sofia will come to a stop before long.

He turns back to look at her once more, but as he does so, his foot lands on a twig. The sound of that twig snapping must scare Sofia, he notes, because she bolts in the opposite direction, and he quickly loses sight of her. Cursing under his breath, he sprints after her—forgetting to drop the remainder of his coins in any definite pathway. Two minutes later, he realizes that he still cannot see Sofia and that his way out of the forest is nowhere to be found. He swallows hard, wraps his arms around himself, and hopes that nothing ill befalls him as he wanders in the direction he thinks the Hatter’s Mansion is.

He stumbles over root, skids to his knees, and winces as skin as scraped from his legs and palms. He remains strong, however, because he is a man, and Michael would be disappointed by even the glimmer of unshed tears. He staggers back to his feet and remains motionless as he tries to remember which direction he was heading.

There’s a strange stillness in the air, which he only notices after he hears how loudly he’s breathing and attempts to calm his wheezing. He’s just being paranoid, he thinks—all this talk of monsters has him hearing things that aren’t there. Still, he’d prefer to keep moving rather than stay in one place, so he chooses a direction that seems right and sets off at a steady pace. His palms and shins hurt, but he pushes the sensation away. There will be time to clean himself up later, but he has to get out of the woods first.

He spots something glimmering in the distance and grins; his plan of leaving coins behind is going to save his ass, he thinks. He breaks into a run but quickly skids to a halt as he realizes that this isn’t just one coin he’s spotted but a small stack. He swallows hard as he spots large, motionless lumps a few yards to his left and a dark, twisting shadow overhead. Scared but not willing to flee without a fight, he edges towards the lumps and nudges them with the tip of his shoe.

The lumps groan and shift, which he’s totally not prepared for—nor is he prepared for the shadow to lunge out of the trees at him. He skitters backward, falling onto his ass and scooting away. He doesn’t want to die, he thinks. Not yet. He squeezes his eyes closed and pushes a hand in front of him, as if the meaningless gesture will keep the beast away from him. He can feel its hot breath on his cheeks, and a few tears dribble down his cheeks. At the feeling of a razor-sharp claw raking against his arm, he lets loose a scream, which echoes through the empty woods.

0-0-0

Back at the mansion, Paige and Karen begin herding people toward the front door. All are confused, but most are so used to strange, inexplicable happenings in their life that they don’t question the directions and simply mill along toward their car. The few who do ask are told there’s been a gas leak in the house, so everyone has to leave. There’s no danger, of course, as Karen assures people, so there’s no need to panic or run or anything, but they do need to head back into town before something bad does happen.

The slight, ominous threat in her words is enough to keep the questioning few on course. Karen checks her phone, counting down the moments until they can leave. Three cars so far have rumbled down the road, as their drivers were more concerned with escaping the gas leak than with following orders. She hasn’t heard any screaming, however, so she thinks they might be doing okay. Ginny reminds the party-goers over and over again that any loud noises could cause the gas leak to explode and makes up a bullshit reason as to how and why that’s even possible. The quiet, Karen determines, is why they’re experiencing so much success.

“Send the next car,” she whispers to Paige, who gestures to Ginny. Ginny nods at the nearest car, which trundles off down the road. One by one, the cars make the pilgrimage toward town, until finally there are only two cars left: the one Ginny arrived in, and Nick’s.

Thinking of Nick, Ginny frowns. He hadn’t been with any of the people leaving, and she hasn’t spotted him anywhere since the last carload left. He could still be in the house, she thinks. She moves silently past Paige and Karen and calls as loudly as she dares for Nick in the front hall.

“Guys, I don’t think Nick is here.” Ginny surveys the empty house with a grimace. She’s frustrated because even though he was an ass about Sofia, he seems like a decent guy, and she had hopes he’d come around. In any event, she never wanted him to get hurt. Wherever he is now, she hopes he’s not getting Sofia into trouble—or causing Sofia trouble for that matter.

“When did you last see him?”

“We had a disagreement just before Sofia showed up with a plan. I didn’t see where he went.”

“He didn’t leave?”

“Not in a car, anyway.” Ginny moves to a window and stares out into the forest. “I mean, he could have left that way.”

Karen joins her at the sill and shakes her head. “That’d be silly. Sofia wanted to go alone. It’d be quicker that way.”

“You weren’t exactly jumping at the chance to volunteer,” Paige mutters. When Karen turns to look at her, confused and hurt, she flushes. “Sorry, but you weren’t.”

“Because I definitely wore my athletic prosthetic today,” Karen replies and folds her arms over her chest. “I want Sofia to make it back alive—not die saving my slow ass.”

Paige sniffs. “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t think… I’m just worried.”

“No reason to snip at me.” Karen’s posture relaxes. “But, I mean, I get it. I’m scared, too. I’ll feel a lot better when she gets back.”

“Hopefully she’ll bring Nick with her,” Ginny sighs.

“At least everyone got away.”

“Mostly.” Karen thinks about the wrecked car farther down the road. “I hope that someone in town can actually do something about this thing.”

“So now we just wait?” Ginny resumes staring out the window. “I don’t like this.”

“You can go to town, too, if you want?”

“No. It’s probably my fault the idiot went into the woods. I’ll stick around until I know he’s safe.”

0-0-0

Sofia stumbles through the darkness toward the sound of the scream. She’s not alone, she deduces, but the sound was distinctly human, which means whoever else is out there with her is in some sort of trouble. She’s struggling, however, because the scream died out, and now she has nothing to follow as she maneuvers through the dark forest. She hopes that nothing bad has happened to those at the mansion, but she decides she’ll have to worry about them later. For now, she focuses on heading in the direction she thinks the scream originated in.

As she hurries along, she wonders why nothing in her life can go exactly right—she was born into a perfectly able body, but that body doesn’t match her expectations. She wanted to break the curse, but then her mother accidentally poisoned. She wanted to help her parents defuse the bomb set to kill everyone in Storybrooke, but she ended up getting kidnapped. Just once, she thinks, she wants things to go well for her.

She spots movement in the distance and picks up her speed, picking up a fallen tree branch as she sprints so that she doesn’t wind up in a conflict with nothing to defend herself with. She knows a branch won’t do much in terms of dealing damage, but she can bat things away from herself if need be.

Upon bursting onto the scene, she finds what can only be the ajatar: the beast is hulking is size and covered in glittering black scales. Its claws are a good half foot in length, and its tail whips behind it, long and thin and barbed. When it breaths, smoke billows from its nostrils and mouth, suggesting that it could, if properly provoked, blast her with fire. Just beyond the ajatar, she’s horrified to find, is Nick.

Steeling her nerves, she raises her branch in front of her like a sword and stalks forward—Nick may be a douche, she thinks, but he doesn’t deserve to die, especially not when she’s near enough to do something about his fate. They could both easily get slaughtered by this mighty creature, a fact that makes her falter. She tightens her grip on the branch and forces herself to put one foot in front of the other. Lips trembling, she calls out a warning—the ajatar whips in around much more quickly than she’s prepared for.

She stares at the reptilian eyes that are directly in front of her now. They’re unblinking and shimmer even in the dull moonlight. From this proximity, she can count the fangs protruding from its mouth, not that she wants to. Fear makes moving difficult, but she didn’t come all this way to do nothing. Eeking out a rather pathetic war cry she lifts her hands over her head and bring the branch crashing down toward the ajatar’s head.

It screeches at her, and the heat of its breath makes her turn her face away. She takes a step back, and her swing misses its mark. This isn’t how she wants to go, so she brings her arms up to cover her face, as if that meager barrier will be enough to save her.

“No!”

She pries an eye open and watches the ajatar rear back, claws fully extended. Please, she thinks, if she inherited any magic, now would be an ideal time for that to kick in. Magic is about wanting something, she recalls, and has never wanted something so badly as she wants to live right now.

Nick repeats his hollered, “No!”

Sofia hopes he takes this opportunity to run. If he can run back to the mansion, he might be okay.

Rather than run away, Nick darts between her and the ajatar, his hands raised and his face panicked. She feels as though she’s been hit on the head perhaps because this doesn’t seem at all like reality. He’s seemingly protecting the giant monster that’s already killed a few of their classmates and will probably slaughter them next. She tries to push him aside, but he stands firm.

“Stop!”

“Nick, get out of the way.”

“No!” Nick grips her tightly. “Not until you stop scaring her.”

“Me? Scaring her?” Sofia pauses as his words really hit her. She draws back out of his grip and glares at him. “So you’ll call a dragon by her proper pronoun, but you won’t call me—“

“You’re missing the point,” he interrupts. “The point is she’s not dangerous unless provoked.”

“What about that car earlier?” Sofia hears the wisdom of his words but can’t drag her eyes away from the monstrous beast over his shoulder.

“Josh and Lonny are fine,” he soothes. “They’re over there. I think they’re still knocked out, but they’re alive. I checked. She hasn’t killed anyone. Stop scaring her.”

Sofia lowers her arms, and the ajatar backs away, its tail lashing against the trees around them. She doesn’t really understand everything that’s happening, but she’s glad she doesn’t have to fight some other-dimensional forest spirit with nothing but a tree branch and her gumption. Heart still hammering, she turns her attention to Nick.

“Why are you even out here?”

“I was following you,” he admits. “I wanted to make sure you got back out of the woods.”

“Stop trying to protect me! I don’t need your help or your protection—or whatever it is you think you’re offering me.”

He checks on the ajatar before shrugging and saying, “I think maybe we can talk about that later.”

With the ajatar still pacing about in what seems to be an agitated state, Sofia isn’t quite ready to accept the idea that the beast isn’t dangerous. After all, she thinks she saw a severed limb from one of the teenagers—that thing really hurt one of them, and they could be bleeding out at this very moment for all she knows. Still, she can’t bulrush Nick or the monster, so she holds her ground and considers her options.

“Since you know her so well, tell me: what is it she’s after?”

“I think she wants to go home.” Nick frowns. “When we knocked that hat over, it pulled her from wherever she was. She probably just wants to go back through.”

“Well, she diced the hat, so I don’t think that’s an option.”

“I’m just telling you what I’ve figured out. I’ve only been with her a few minutes more than you.”

“Obviously long enough to determine she’s harmless,” Sofia scoffs. “She cut an arm off earlier—“

“She’s scared. She’s alone. She doesn’t know what’s going on.”

Sofia hates that he’s handling this so well. Maybe his asshole-ish-ness got scared to death, she ponders. Fear is a good instigator of change, and that ajatar is extremely ferocious, for all it isn’t attacking them. She grimaces and admits that there might not be a whole lot to fear as long as the ajatar is calm and doesn’t feel threatened. All plans to grab the branch again and fight her way free dissipate.

“The hat is gone, but maybe my moms and Jefferson can figure something out.” She sighs and rubs the back of her neck. The adrenaline that had been pumping frantically through her system now just makes her feel somewhat sick. “Think she’ll let us go?”

“I don’t see why not. We just have to be quiet and slow.”

Sofia glances around and, upon spotting the shifting lumps that are Josh and Lonny, walks very slowly over. The action doesn’t attract the ajatar’s wrath, so she bends down and tries to help Josh sit up. He grunts, groans, and begins to cry—she cringes as she realizes he’s missing his arm from the elbow down. The stump is singed, suggesting that the limb’s removal had been quickly cauterized somehow, but frankly she’s surprised he’s not still knocked out.

“Nick, you’ll need to help him get out of here. Can you carry him?”

As Nick lumbers over, she shifts her attention to Lonny, who has yet to move. The girl is a bit larger than Sofia, so Sofia hopes she can be awoken. Nick has to help Josh, which means there’s no person-power left to help Lonny. She shakes Lonny’s shoulder; although Lonny is breathing, she refuses to rouse. Sofia flinches as she feels hot breath coating her neck.

The ajatar presses the tip of its claw to the base of her neck, just barely breaking her skin. She winces but then goes still as a series of images flood past her eyes. She blinks helplessly and tries to remember everything. She can’t process fast enough, however, and she’s left feeling empty when the claw withdraws.

“She did that to me, too,” Nick says, hoisting Josh up. The other boy is whimpering and pale, and Sofia hopes he makes the trip back to the mansion.

Before she can decide what to do with Lonny, the ajatar lowers her mouth to Lonny’s dress and delicately lifts the girl by her garment. Sofia stumbles backward, afraid that the monster is going to eat her classmate. Nick watches her and rolls his eyes.

“She’s helping us because she feels bad for what happened before.”

She wants to argue that he shouldn’t give human emotions to a dragon thing, but she feels like his statement is accurate. Whatever the ajatar had done with that claw, Sofia feels more at ease—as if the ajatar is exactly as Nick stated. She’s afraid, but the fear is more generalized. The ajatar stares at her, waiting, so she turns and marches in the direction she thinks is correct. Her assumption proves correct as the trees begin to lessen, and they come upon the rear entrance of the house.

Calling out, she draws the remaining girls from the building—but all three come crashing to a halt as they spot the ajatar hulking behind her. She raises a hand to keep them calm and orders someone to go around front and get a car going. She gestures to Josh, who’s no longer quite as responsive though still awake, and creates a sense of urgency. She can explain everything later, but for now, they need to focus on helping Josh.

Lonny comes to a bit more once Ginny brings a car around. She sobs upon spotting that ajatar but gets into the passenger seat without much complaint. Ginny offers to drive them into town, as long as they keep her updated on what’s happening. She kisses Nick on the cheek to show she’s glad he’s still alive, glares darkly at him to remind him of her frustration, and heads back toward town.

“So… uh… anyone want to explain the big bad forest spirit?” Karen grins sheepishly as the ajatar turns a glassy eye on her.

“She’s not dangerous, we think.” Sofia isn’t quite willing to drop all of her guard, especially given Josh’s missing arm. “Nick thinks she just wants to go home.”

“Has she tried clicking her heels and saying there’s no place like home?”

Nick scowls at Karen, who doesn’t regret her joke in the slightest. Her defense mechanism has always been humor, and she sees no reason to change her ways simply because there’s a potentially deadly monster lurking a few feet to her left. To be honest, she’s actually quite proud she’s not joking more. She sticks her tongue out at Nick and folds her arms over her chest.

Paige looks the ajatar over and, when the beast doesn’t seem to mind her examination, she moves closer. The ajatar shifts nervously when she gets too close, so she halts and holds her hand out. Sofia wants to pull her away and warn her that this isn’t How to Train Your Dragon—the ajatar, however, accepts the offering and bumps her nose against Paige’s palm. Paige takes that as an invitation to conduct her investigation by running her hands along the ajatar’s body. She notes the ajatar’s sleek, sharp scales, earning her a few nicks on her fingertips, and the ajatar’s lean musculature.

This is a creature that is likely predatory but shy, like a mountain cat—the ajatar’s claws are large enough to suggest being a hunter, but the ajatar’s coloration and temperament imply that she spends most of her time in hiding. Paige isn’t sure what to do with these assumptions or even if they’re correct, but she continues petting the ajatar and murmuring quietly under her breath.

“Well,” Sofia announces once she’s sure Paige is going to be okay. “She’ll be okay hanging out in the woods, right? Because we can’t get her home alone, and I don’t think she’ll like being downtown with us. As soon as we have cell signal, I’m going to call my moms. Paige, you need to call your dad.”

Paige backs away slowly to avoid startling the ajatar and nods firmly. “Sounds like a plan.”


	9. Chapter 9

They travel a full mile and then some before signal reaches their phones once more. Paige pulls over as soon as Sofia urges her to, and all four teenagers spill out of the car. Nick has nobody in particular to call, but he doesn’t want to remain in the car all alone. Karen dials the fire department to let the authorities know about the burned out wreck along the road, although the fire has long since banked. Paige calls her father and gets his voicemail, so she leaves him a brief message about the night’s occurrences, although she’s not too sure he’ll listen to her message any time soon. She has to try, however, so she pleads with him to call her back as soon as he can.

Sofia leans against a nearby tree and wonders just how much trouble she’s going to get in for going to a party. She didn’t exactly sneak out, but she hadn’t disclaimed that her activities for the evening were going to be so raucous and out of control. She couldn’t control that a mythical monster had been released, but she could have not gone to the party in the first place. Still, if she hadn’t been there, she isn’t sure what would have happened. She glances over her shoulder as the phone rings and examines Nick’s tense form hulking near the car.

If she hadn’t been there, she determines, he would have saved the day. After all, he’s the one who found the ajatar and understood her. Without her around, things would have actually been just as okay. Then again, she reasons, it was her plan to evacuate their peers and do research. All in all, that night’s rescue had been a team effort, so she isn’t too wrong in placing a high value on her presence.

The voice that responds to her call is tired and groggy, which makes her feel a bit bad about calling at such a late hour. Still, she knows her moms would prefer to be informed about current events. She drags a fingertip along the tree’s rough bark and murmurs an apologetic greeting.

“Are you okay?” Regina’s focus slowly sharpens. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Sofia hurries to reassure her. “I’m not calling because of me, but I am calling because of a problem. Is Ma there, too?”

There’s a moment where all Sofia hears is shuffling and then suddenly she can hear Emma as well: “We put you on speakerphone. What’s up, kid?”

“Don’t be angry, but I went to a party.” Sofia cringes, but neither mother says a peep. “It was fun at first, but then—“

“Did someone touch you? Who was it? I’ll—“

“Ma, nobody touched me.”

“Emma, let her speak.”

“There was an accident. A monster got loose. Well, she’s not exactly a monster? She’s a forest spirit of some sort.”

“Back up. How did a monster get loose?”

“The party was at the Hatter’s old house out in the woods. He’s got all his hats, and apparently some are portals?”

“They shouldn’t function without magic. Did you… Are you…?” Regina stutters for a moment and then clears her throat. “What happened?”

“It wasn’t me.” Sofia feels a bit like a disappointment. She’s sure Regina would be thrilled if she’d been born with magic. Instead, she’s just boring and magicless. “A couple of other students had wandered off together. From what I can tell, they accidentally knocked a hat onto the ground, and it released the forest spirit.”

“Either there’s magic everywhere and that house is a disaster waiting to happen, or one of those students has magic.”

Sofia stares at Nick and immediately dismisses the possibility. Ginny, she thinks, must be the source. “I’ll have them come by tomorrow, and you can talk to them. I think I know who has the magic, but I don’t think she knows about it. I’m really hoping she has it, though, because who knows what else is in those hats.”

“I agree. If we leave now, we can be home in about three hours.”

Sofia shakes her head and replies, “I… I don’t think there’s immediate danger. The thing is content out in the woods, and we’ve already established that she’s not going to hurt anyone who doesn’t disturb her. So, go back to sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sorry you guys don’t get your whole weekend.” Sofia digs her fingernail into the tree and peels some bark back. She wishes that she could just have normal events happen in her life for a short while. Her whole family deserves a break. “You can at least get a bit more sleep.”

“Kid, don’t worry about us. Do you need us right now?”

“No. I’m one hundred percent sure. Everyone got back to town okay, and I’m just going to go to bed as soon as I’m home.”

“Okay. If you need anything else, please call back. We’ll be up bright and early to drive back, so expect us around nine o’clock. Please be safe, Sofia.”

“I will, Mom.”

“Yeah, what she said. Be good, kid. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Sofia slides the phone back into her pocket and returns to the car. She can’t help but look once more at Nick, who catches her staring and tilts his head with his brows furrowed. Embarrassed that her interest has been discovered, she clears her throat and sidles into the passenger seat.

As the car trundles along the road once more, Sofia grips her seatbelt tightly. The events of the evening are finally catching up with her, and her hands shake even as she clings to the strap across her chest. She wonders if Josh will be alright and what they can do for the ajatar, who’s doing who knows what out in the woods until help arrives. The adrenaline is fading, and she’s tired both physically and emotionally—even if there hadn’t been a monstrous occurrence at the party, she had still stepped outside her comfort zone in going to that party. On top of all that, Paige had expressed some big feelings that she isn’t sure she knows how to respond to yet.

Kissing Paige had been very nice, but that had been under extraordinary circumstances. Now that they aren’t in mortal danger, she’s not sure what to think or feel. She needs to sleep, she decides, and then she’ll be able to process everything in a much more cohesive manner. At that thought, she yawns and covers her mouth with a hand.

“I’m tired too,” Paige confides. She holds onto the steering wheel as if it’s the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. “That was a lot more than I bargained for in going out there tonight.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“But I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep…” Paige checks her mirrors before making a right-hand turn onto Mifflin. “I can’t stop thinking—about the ajatar, about the hats, about… well…”

Sofia does her best to politely ignore the color flooding Paige’s cheeks. “I hope you do get some sleep, though. I get the feeling tomorrow is going to be busy.”

“Yeah…”

She’s missed a social cue, she thinks with an internal sigh. She bets that Paige wants to talk about their kiss and what it means, but she’s just not feeling up to it, especially not with an audience in the backseat.

When the car comes to a halt outside her house, Sofia twists in her seat to view her companions, who all look as beat-tired as she feels. Nick meets her gaze, and she wonders if he’s at all changed by what happened. His expression remains bland, however, and he gives her no clue as to what he’s thinking.

“Don’t tell anyone what really happened out there, okay?” She looks pointedly at Karen. Karen lifts her hands and shakes her head. “The last thing we need is people going out there on their own. Most people won’t—but we all know someone’s going to think that they can avenge Josh’s arm or something, and we don’t want to provoke her. Got it?”

“Yeah,” Nick replies. He’s been advocating for the ajatar all evening, and he resents that Sofia feels the need to instruct him on how to keep her safe. “Obviously.”

“That means not even telling your sister until we get the ajatar home safely.”

“I heard you the first time,” he huffs back.

“Children.” Karen raises her hands to placate them both. “We understand, Sofia. Now, go on inside. You can trust us. Text me in the morning, okay?”

Sofia grumbles a moment longer before realizing that her poor mood might have something to with her exhaustion—and not necessarily how irritating Nick is. She mutters her good byes and clambers out of the car. She knows that Paige is watching her as she approaches the door, and she appreciates that Paige waits until she’s safely inside before driving away. Once the door is shut behind her, she leans against it and closes her eyes. She runs a hand through her hair, takes a deep breath, and leans down to unlace her shoes. She really hopes that her moms can help.

Yawning yet again, she heads upstairs to the bathroom. She leans against the sink and stares at herself—over the course of the evening, her painstakingly applied makeup had smeared and smudged, and she feels more like a raccoon than a person. Using some of the makeup remover that Regina had left behind for her, she strips away the products adorning her face, leaving only a faint trace of the evening behind.

She stares at her reflection as she runs a hand along her jaw. Her hair is getting longer, she muses, but not nearly as fast as she would like. She’s a bit envious that Karen and Paige can just pull their hair back into messy ponytails whenever the urge strikes them. She knows it’s ridiculous to gender haircuts, but she looks at her hair and thinks that only a boy would have a style like this. She tugs, willing her hair to grow faster, and remembers Emma’s earlier offer of a headband and Regina’s of extensions.

She’s not sure either of these things will help her feel better because she’s faintly certain that it’s not her hair but herself that feels wrong. She tugs her shirt up over her head and examines her breasts, which give her figure curves. If only she’d been born with them, she thinks as her lower lip trembles. Instead, she’ll never be quite right. She brusquely wipes her tears off her cheeks and covers her chest with one arm.

When another yawn racks her body, she decides she can brush her teeth later. For now, she doesn’t want to look at herself any longer. She picks her shirt up and holds it against her chest as she sluggishly pads toward her bedroom, where she shimmies slowly into a nightshirt and flops down onto her bed.

Sleep doesn’t come easily, however, and she curls onto her side and draws her knees to her chest. She bets that Paige would be happier if she just went back to being Henry. A lot of other people would be happier if she did that—Emma, probably. Although Emma’s acting supportive now, she can’t forget Emma’s initial response. Her stomach churns as she ponders the negative impact she’s having on others, and her throat tightens uncomfortably. She presses her face into her pillow to hide her crying as though she has an audience.

Eventually, when she has no tears left, sleep overtakes her. She dreams uneasily for most of the night—she sees Nick getting attacked and killed by the ajatar, Josh and Lonny as corpses who reanimated after they had been killed and dismembered in a fiery car accident, and Karen missing her other leg and lobbing accusations at her: “You should have stopped this!” She tosses and turns, unable to escape her nightmares.

0-0-0

“We should have started home last night.” Regina keeps her hands folded on her lap, but she’s full of anxious energy that makes her want to fidget. A childhood full of learning hard lessons about manners keeps her still, however.

“She’s fine. She told us herself.”

“Of course she’s going to tell us she’s fine. She feels like she’s ruining our weekend.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“This is the first vacation we’ve been on—and no, chasing kidnappers to Neverland to get our child back does not count.”

“It was on an island,” Emma grouses. “Tropical weather and ocean views. Sounds like a vacation to me.”

“My point is that she likely feels as though she’s interrupted. When we get home, I ask that you say nothing that would even slightly suggest that.”

“I don’t feel that way at all, so that shouldn’t be hard.”

“Good.” Regina hesitates and adds, “Do you think we made a mistake in going in the first place? This is a very important time for her, and we should have been around for her.”

Emma removes one hand from the steering wheel and grips Regina’s thigh. “I have no idea, but we just have to move forward. Here’s the thing—I grew up without real parents around, and you grew up with a parent who was too present. We’ve got literally opposite experiences with parenting, and neither way was good for either of us. You may want to be more hands-on, and I’m more hands-off, but we can balance each other, I think. We took a risk on going away, and now we’re course correcting, which is a compromise.”

“I suppose…”

“I know you want to be Mom of the Year seventeen years running, but nobody can be perfect.”

“I’m fairly certain you won that award a few times along the way.”

“I was new and shiny at the time.” Emma shrugs. “She never forgot who took care of her and loved her for the entire duration of her life.”

“Thank you, Emma.”

“We can do this, okay?” Emma guides the car into the driveway and leans over to kiss Regina’s cheek. “You go check on her, and I’ll get our bags. We’ll plan another weekend for another time when things are more settled here, okay?”

“Okay.”

Regina cups Emma’s cheek before Emma can pull too far away and kisses her properly. With that accomplished, she steps out of the car and hurries up the walk to the front door. Before Emma can even get out of the car as well, she’s inside and halfway up the stairs. Emma pops the trunk and takes a moment to consider whether they had made a mistake but ultimately decides that they can’t and shouldn’t treat Sofia like she could break at any moment.

Regina knocks lightly on Sofia’s door and, when no answer is forthcoming, pushes the door open very gently. The room is still dark with only a few rays of light penetrating the curtains over the window. Sofia’s clothing from the party are in a messy pile on the floor—under other circumstances, Regina would have scolded her child for this, but she understands that after everything her daughter has gone through, tidying her room before bed was probably an ignored after-thought.

She eases into the room and approaches Sofia’s sleeping form. Brushing a few strands of hair from Sofia’s forehead, she smiles and decides to let Sofia sleep a bit longer. She wants to know what transpired at the party, but she thinks Sofia could use the extra sleep, especially if things were as harrowing as she expects they were. Leaving just as quietly as she entered, she heads down the hallway to the stairs, where she nearly runs into Emma. Emma deftly steps aside, although her movements are weighed down by two large suitcases.

“Everything okay?”

“She’s sleeping.”

“Did you see any injuries?”

“I didn’t pull her covers back, but I didn’t see anything alarming from her shoulders up. If she’s hurt, we’ll deal with that once she’s awake.”

“Okay.” Emma adjusts her grip. “I have to go put these down. Meet you in the kitchen?”

“Do you ever think of anything but food?”

“Sometimes I think about you.” Emma winks as she continues on her way.

Regina rolls her eyes. She continues on her way to the kitchen, where she begins pulling out supplies for breakfast. Sofia is partial to French toast, so she decides to make that in order to help Sofia feel good again. Emma’s love for bacon isn’t forgotten either, and within a few minutes, she’s got all her supplies on the counter and a few pans on the stove top.

0-0-0

Sofia wakes slowly and feels no more rested than the night before. She can hear movement in the house, and for a moment, her heart races. However, she remembers that Emma and Regina were coming home to help, and she relaxes. She presses the back of one hand to her forehead and examines the ceiling. Some of the negative thoughts from last night still linger and weigh on her, and if not for the ajatar, she wouldn’t even want to get out of bed. She knows she can’t solve her problems by sleeping through them, but she feels like if she could just get a little more sleep, she’d finally feel awake.

The scent of breakfast food coaxes her from bed. She ignores her mirror in favor of simply leaving the room; her hair is likely a mess and her sleepwear is rumpled, but she’d prefer to look unkempt rather than to look at herself at the moment. She follows her nose to the kitchen where she finds Regina busy at the stove.

“Good morning.”

Regina turns and examines her from top to bottom. “I’m glad you’re not hurt. Would you care to explain what happened last night?”

“I’m not exactly sure. I was going to text Ginny—she’s the one who knocked the hat—and invite her over, if that’s okay. I don’t think she’ll be awake yet, and I’d like to wait until she can tell you what I wasn’t there to see.”

“Very well. Would you like some orange juice?”

Sofia sits at the table and tries not to let her trouble emotional state show on her face; she smiles brightly and nods. “Thanks. How was your trip?”

“We have a very relaxing time, and we look forward to going again sometime. We drove past a water park that you might enjoy.”

Great, Sofia thinks. At a water park, she’d need to wear a swimsuit. She has a pair of trunks that make her look like a boy or she could go buy a feminine suit. Unless she keeps her breast, she thinks she’ll feel out of sorts in a suit made for busty women. Before her thoughts can spiral any further down, Regina sets a plate in front of her and notes her darkened expression.

“We don’t have to go.”

“It sounds fun,” she forces herself to say.

“Hm.”

Eager to move the subject away from her lackluster feelings, Sofia digs her fork into her French toast and says, “Thanks for making French toast. It’s my favorite.”

“I know,” Regina replies, but her voice is uncertain. She clears her throat. “Emma will be down shortly, and then I think we need to at least discuss what did happen to you last night, regardless of the events you didn’t witness.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Regina returns to the stove and finishes plating both her meal and Emma’s. She delivers the plates to the table and sits down, and a moment later, Emma kisses her cheek and plops down as well. Emma grins at Sofia, oblivious to Sofia’s discomfort. Regina can only wonder why Sofia isn’t in better spirits this morning, but she hopes a few probing questions will help inform her.

“How was the party? Other than the monster, I mean.”

“Sorta fun,” Sofia admits. “Sorta stressful.”

“What parts were fun?”

“I got to hang out with Karen, and we danced a little.” Her cheeks color as she adds, “I liked dressing up for it.”

“Sounds fun to me, kid.” Emma drops a piece of bacon into her mouth, crunches it into smithereens, and reaches for her glass of orange juice. “So what was the stressful part?”

“This kid who’s not exactly the nicest to me was there. He didn’t bother me, but, like, I could tell he wasn’t thrilled I was there.”

“Does he have a name?”

“Emma, no threats at the table.” Regina glares at Emma, who laughs and lifts her hands in defeat. “Go on.”

“Well…” She hesitates, unsure of how much she could or should tell her mothers. She ought to save this to talk about with Karen—but if anyone is going to have good advice for her about romantic relationships, that person is going to be one of her moms. After all, she considers, they’ve had their share. “Paige was there, too.”

“Paige is stressful?”

“She got sorta upset when I came out. Not about me, but… she told me she liked me before, but then when I came out, she got scared because that meant she wasn’t as straight as she thought, so she freaked out. We hadn’t really interacted in a few days before the party.”

“Did you two talk?”

“She kissed me.”

Emma exchanges a curious look with Regina and asks, “And how was that?”

“I don’t know. It happened after the ajatar got loose, so it was already a weird situation.” Sofia has only taken a few bites of her breakfast, but she doesn’t feel hungry enough to eat more. “I like her, but I’ve never… I was so focused on figuring myself out before that I just never thought about who I might like like that.”

“Kid, I’m going to give you some advice I wish I’d gotten when I was your age—you don’t have to accept any attention someone pays you just because it’s attention. You don’t owe anyone anything, except yourself. If she’s a real friend, she’ll give you space to think and respect your decision, but don’t let her push you into dating her if that’s not what you want for yourself.”

Sofia moves her food around her plate and shrugs. She doesn’t feel much like talking about this with anyone, and Emma’s advice, however well-meaning, isn’t what she wants to hear. She wants people to be happy, she thinks, and Paige is her friend. She does like Paige, but she’s too confused right now to determine whether she likes Paige or she like-likes Paige.

Regina sets a hand atop her arm. “Why don’t you text your friends and have them come over as soon as they can. We can get the full story, and then we can figure out what we need to do in order to get your forest spirit somewhere safe.”

Sofia nods and pulls her phone out. She ought to invite Nick, but she declines to—she already has to deal with him more than she wants to, and even though he was involved with the hat incident, she knows Ginny will have more than enough information. She asks Karen and Ginny to come over as soon as they can and returns her attention to Regina.

“Mom, could you maybe reverse the spell you put on me?”

Regina looks a bit perplexed by the request, but she snaps her fingers and does as asked. Once Sofia’s chest is flat once more, she cocks her head to the side. “Is something wrong, sweetheart?”

“No.”

“I only ask because you seem down today. This is a perfectly normal response to a stressful situation, but I want to make sure there’s nothing more bothering you.”

Sofia thinks of everything that’s rattling noisily around her brain that morning but can’t think of the right words to properly express the whirlpool of emotions. She should say something, she thinks, but all she does is shake her head. This is her issue to deal with, she decides, and she won’t weigh anyone else down.

“I won’t push you,” Regina relents. “However, I want it perfectly clear that I want you to talk to me when you’re ready. I love you, and I just want you to be happy. Nothing you could say will change that. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Sofia lifts her gaze from her plate to Regina. “At some point last night, Ginny knocked a hat off a table, and the ajatar was released. Karen and I went to take a look around, and the whole room was basically destroyed, including the hat the ajatar came from. We think she just wants to go home, but now that the hat is gone, we don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll figure something out. If Ginny is the one who activated the hat, then we may be able to use her magical signature to locate which world or reality the ajatar originates from. Once we know that, we can ask Jefferson to craft a portal to that realm.”

“Sounds simple,” Emma comments. “I hope for once that’s exactly what happens.”

“Me, too,” Sofia mutters. She checks her phone when it buzzes and informs her parents, “Ginny’s on her way over. Still no word from Karen, but she’s probably sleeping. I bet she sleeps ‘til noon at least.”

“That’s fine. Ginny will give us enough to start with.” Regina checks Sofia’s plate and frowns. “Are you not hungry?”

“Not really…”

“You’ve barely touched your food. When was the last time you ate?”

“I had a bunch of food at the party,” Sofia lies. “So, I’m still pretty stuffed.”

“Did they order like a dozen pizzas?”

“Something like that.”

Regina clears the table, feeling as though she’s missing something. Emma takes over at the sink, which allows her to return to sitting with Sofia at the table.

“I’m going to be honest—I’m worried about you.” She searches Sofia’s eyes. “I had a rough childhood, which made me doubt who I was and what I stood for. I didn’t have anyone to turn to, and I let my fear and my anger overtake me. I hurt people because I was hurting, and I can never take that back.”

“I know.”

“Sofia…”

“I thought you weren’t going to push?” Sofia hates that her voice trembles. “I’m fine.”

“Very well.” Regina resolves to ask again later that evening. Even if Sofia continues to tell her no, she wants Sofia to realize that her concern isn’t going anywhere, and she’ll never be disinterested in the worries and woes of her daughter. “Is there anything special you’d like for lunch?”

“Not really.”

Still determined to be chipper, Regina stands and ushers Sofia toward the living room. “Why don’t you go watch television while we wait for your friend to show up?”

Sofia skulks into the other room and nestles against the couch cushions. She feels like she inherited Emma’s inability to talk about important things. Emma had somehow overcome this and functioned well with Regina, so Sofia wonders if she, too, can find a means to communicate. This would be easier if her emotions were clearer cut. She can’t define how she’s feeling, so she can’t tell someone else, either. She pinches the bridge of her nose to calm herself down and then fumbles for the remote.

While Sofia is distracted, Regina rejoins Emma at the sink. The blonde scrubs their dishes but pauses at the sight of Regina’s worried expression. Regina slides an arm around her waist, leans against her, and sighs.

“Things are going to be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow. But someday. The kid’s dealing with some big stuff right now, and we have to let her.”

“I wish I could help.”

“Some things you have to do on your own. She’s tough and smart. She’ll get through this.”


	10. Chapter 10

An episode of Law and Order later, the doorbell rings, and Sofia drags herself off the couch. She feels tired in many different respects, but she knows she won’t get to rest until a number of issues are resolved—the ajatar is still homeless and loose, Paige is still out there somewhere waiting, and she’s still her. She’s not sure what to do about any of these issues, but she hopes they can work together and help the ajatar get home.

She pulls the door open, and Ginny bustles in quickly. Her hair is still wet from a shower, and her shirt is crooked, which suggests a very hasty exit from her home. Sofia manages to smile at her, and Ginny mirrors the expression. Sofia allows her a moment to kick her shoes off and then guides her toward the kitchen where her mothers await.

“This is probably the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me,” Ginny confides. She’s practically skipping down the hall, although she slows to match Sofia’s lugubrious pace. “I’m sorry. This sort of thing happens to you all the time, but this is all new to me. I know it’s a serious thing. Seriously.”

“It’s okay,” Sofia replies. She tries to look a bit more chipper and enthusiastic so that she doesn’t affect Ginny’s mood. “I’m just a little tired. I had a hard time sleeping last night—all sorts of weird dreams.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally. Me, too.”

“Was Josh doing okay?”

“I think so. The doctors wouldn’t tell me much because I’m not family, but both of them were more coherent when I got them to the hospital. I asked them to contact me when they get out.”

“Tell me when they tell you, okay?”

“Oh, totally.” Ginny lifts a hand to greet Regina and Emma, her cheeks ruddy enough to match her hair.

Regina eyes her daughter’s friend and wonders if this is the one who’s purportedly magical. That the girl’s powers may be latent is a possibility, but Regina isn’t sure she senses anything about the girl that would suggest supernatural powers. Still, she can’t rule anything out without further investigation. She extends her hand for Ginny to shake.

“Good morning. You must be…”

“Ginny.” Ginny’s verve in shaking her hand is a little intense for this early in the day, Regina thinks, but she also notices Ginny’s tight grip and slight tremble. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Mayor Mills.”

“Just Regina is fine, my dear.” Regina removes her hand from Ginny’s and gestures toward the living room. “We need a few minutes to talk. Is that okay?”

“Oh yeah, sure.” Ginny glances at Sofia, who nods. Seeing no reason to not head with the former evil queen into a more private setting, beside the fear she’d kept buried deep down in her belly from when she was really small and her grandmother was telling her about the dangers in their world, she follows Regina to the living room and takes a seat on the couch.

Not wanting to jump straight in, Regina sits down on the other end of the couch and seeks to soothe Ginny’s ill-concealed nerves. “I wanted to thank you for assisting Sofia last night. From what I understand, you helped face down a strange creature and risked your life. I know life in Storybrooke is far from safe sometimes, but you went above and beyond last night. I admire your courage.”

Ginny scoots closer, her eyes widening. “Seriously? You think I’m brave?”

“Not many would stand up to something so unknown and frightening.”

“I mean, it was sorta awful. But me and Nick were responsible…”

“Still, there are those who would have fled to save themselves.”

“Not gonna lie, I thought about it.” Ginny smiles and fiddles with her hair, but Regina can tell her flattery has calmed the girl down.

“That’s the lovely thing about thoughts—they don’t matter very much. It’s what you do and say that informs your character.” Regina holds her hands out and waits for Ginny to take them. “However, thoughts are an important part of magic. The stronger your thoughts, the more likely you’ll be able to materialize your desires.”

“That makes sense…” Ginny nibbles on her lower lip. “And you guys are sure that I’m some sort of witch?”

“There is a possibility that you have magical capabilities. We need to find out whether Sofia is correct, which is why I want you to focus on something you want very badly. Starting with a material good is easiest.”

Ginny shifts her grip and crinkles her nose. There are many things she’d like, but she ultimately decides on a chocolate sundae—ice cream is the least embarrassing item she can think of, so she squeezes her eyes shut and thinks about the cold treat. She can practically taste the dessert, and her mouth waters in anticipation. If she ends up having magic, she’s going to eat so many of them, she decides. Doing so is probably a waste of her power, but she doesn’t see why she shouldn’t have a good time.

Regina waits patiently to feel the familiar surge of magic that should accompany a simple task such as summoning something. Five seconds pass, and then ten. Eventually, Regina releases her grip and shakes her head. Ginny opens her eyes and sighs.

“I’m sorry—“

“There’s nothing to apologize for. I can assure you that magic is often more trouble than it’s worth. You’re better off without it.”

“Still, woulda been sorta cool.” Ginny stares at her hands and feels painfully ordinary again.

0-0-0

While Regina has Ginny in the other room, Emma examines her daughter—as much as she wants to step back and let Sofia deal with things alone, which was how Emma had gone through life, she realizes that she now has a chance to make things different. She wants Sofia to have more support than she did, and she understands that she has to make an effort, especially if Sofia looks downtrodden. She hasn’t experienced exactly what Sofia is living, but she remembers what being young and different felt like.

“Kid, I know you’re probably sick of hearing this, but you’re okay, right?”

“Fine…”

“I was just thinking that when I was your age, I was definitely very angry.” Emma dries her hands on a rag and purposely avoids looking directly at Sofia. “I lashed out at a lot of people, but when I was in jail, the only person I could be angry with was myself. It’s taken me more than a decade to stop hating myself, and that’s only been because you and your mom have helped me.”

“So?”

“So, you’re not alone.” Emma sets her hand on Sofia’s shoulder. “Even if you feel like you are, you’re not. We’re here for you. I’m here for you.”

“Ma, I’m fine.”

“I’m going to be blunt, kid. You look awful right now, and you’re acting like you’re a three-year-old on the verge of a temper tantrum. Your mom won’t push, but if you’re anything like me, you need someone to push. Otherwise nothing’s coming through your walls.”

Sofia tries very hard to keep her composure. That Emma recognizes what she’s experiences is nearly enough to bring her to tears, but she doesn’t feel ready or capable of talking. She sighs with relief as the doorbell rings once more, and Emma lets her hurry down the hallway to let Karen inside.

“Oh man,” Karen says upon entering the house. “You look like—“

“I know what I look like,” Sofia replies quickly, cutting her friend off. “Believe me, everyone has told me at least six times how crappy I look.”

“Are you okay?”

“I just—I don’t feel right today. I’m sure it’ll pass.”

“Well, I mean, if you’re sure?” Karen eyes her and shrugs. “Have you talked to Paige?”

“No. Should I have?”

“I’m trying to live vicariously through you, Sofia, and you’re trying so hard to not let me. Nothing exciting happens to me, not without you around. She’s into you, and I just want to know what’s going on.”

“She was into Henry,” Sofia corrects.

“Right. And, like, correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the same person? I mean, shiny new name and correct gender identity, but…?”

“It’s complicated, okay?” Sofia runs a hand through her hair. “And definitely something we can worry about later. My mom is with Ginny right now—once she’s done, we’ll hopefully have a way to get the ajatar home without anyone else getting hurt.”

“Okay, okay.” Karen lifts her nose and sniffs. “Is there any breakfast food leftover? I pretty much ran over here as soon as I woke up. I’m hungry…”

“We were cleaning up, but I’m sure Emma will help you out if you ask her nicely.”

“When am I not nice?” Feeling comfortable in the house, Karen moves past Sofia and heads for the kitchen on her own. Sofia is pleased to have a friend who doesn’t need her direction to get around and follows close behind. Not everything is awful, she determines, and she smiles honestly for the first time that morning.

Emma spots the expression and beams back before turning her attention to Karen. “Good morning.”

“No talking. Not yet.”

“She’s hungry,” Sofia explains.

“You’re a little late for fresh piping hot sausage and bacon, but I could definitely make you some scrambled eggs if you’re interested.”

“That will do,” Karen replies. She settles herself at the table and sighs. “I don’t know how you guys get up so early all the time. I mean, this is still a weekend, monster in the woods or no monster in the woods. It’s bad enough I’ll have to be up tomorrow for school.”

“Sorry. But you were there, and you can help today, right?”

“So could Paige…” Karen stares pointedly at Sofia, who averts her gaze. “But whatever. Yeah, I can help. Just no heavy lifting, okay? I’m not down with that.”

Sofia promises that Karen will do no such thing as Ginny and Regina return to the kitchen. She notes Ginny’s crestfallen expression and frowns. “What’s going on?”

“Ginny doesn’t have magic.”

“But that’s impossible,” Sofia sputters. If Ginny didn’t have magic, then that meant that—

“Musta been Nick.” Ginny jams her hands in her pockets. “I guess I’ll head home now.”

“I’m sorry I got your hopes up…”

“Not your fault.”

Sofia follows her to the front door. “I know how you feel.”

“I doubt that,” Ginny responds. “Yeah, maybe you don’t have magic, but you’re around it all the time. You’ve got something that makes you special.”

“I’m sure you do, too. I don’t know you very well, but you stuck around to help when you didn’t have to.”

“Your mom said that, too. I’m sure I’ll feel better eventually. I just sorta want to mope and eat ice cream for a while. I’ll let you know if Josh or Lonny contact me. Text me if something happens on your end?”

“Of course.” 

Sofia lifts her hand in parting and then leans against the door once Ginny is gone. If Ginny doesn’t have magic, then Sofia knows she’s got to call Nick. The idea is not particularly alluring because although he was treating her reasonably well the night before, she fears that a night of rest and reflection will have returned him to his old ways. Given that she’s almost in agreement with him now, she doesn’t want to hear his shit today. Still, the ajatar needs to be dealt with, and she knows her personal problems come second to a wandering, potentially deadly spirit. She texts him quickly, before her reluctance can change her mind, and then returns to the kitchen, where Karen is sucking up to Emma for more food.

0-0-0

Nick feels his phone vibrate under his pillow and because it’s practically the ass-crack of dawn, he almost ignores whoever is trying to contact him. He had a long night, he reasons with a yawn, and he doesn’t owe anybody anything. He nestles his head down and closes his eyes once more. A niggling voice in the back of his head, however, won’t let him rest: what if that message is from Ginny? She’s the prettiest girl who’s ever given him more than a second glance.

He drags the phone closer to his face, squints at the screen, and then fumbles for his glasses. The screen is clearer now, and he peers at the text from Henry which urges him to come over or whatever. He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. He regrets giving the confused boy his number, even though they are in a state of emergency, sort of. The ajatar isn’t hurting anyone, not on purpose anyway.

Grimacing, he presses the call button and waits for Henry to answer. It’s too early for this, he thinks. He just wanted to sleep in for once.

“Nick? Did you get my message?”

“Yeah, but do you get what time it is?”

“Ten thirty?”

“Dude…” Despite being tired, Nick realizes that he shouldn’t say the next few words on the tip of his tongue, which would imply that Henry’s dyke parents didn’t teach Henry manners. He could be on speakerphone, and he didn’t want to piss off the most powerful women in Storybrooke. “Couldn’t it wait?”

“Believe me, I wouldn’t have contacted you if I had any other choice.”

Nick snorts and struggles to sit upright. “Is this about the ajatar?”

“Yeah.”

“And I have to come over?”

“Yeah.”

“Mifflin?”

“One-oh-eight.”

Nick groans quietly because he really doesn’t want to do this, but he also doesn’t want his audience to know how much he doesn’t want to do this. He just hopes Michael’s already gone to work, as he’s not interested in explaining where he’s going so early on a Sunday morning. He grunts out that he’ll be over in a bit and then tosses his phone further down his bed. He lugs himself out of bed and down the hallway to the bathroom, where he doesn’t bother to aim particularly well as he empties his bladder. Ava’ll be pissed, he knows, but she’ll also clean up after him. He discards his boxers while the shower sputters to life. Testing the temperature with his hand, he’s disappointed but not surprised to find that there’s not very much hot water. Used to somewhat cold showers, he slips in and douses his head. He scrubs under his arms with the body wash Ava insists makes him smell good. Part of him doesn’t want to care how he smells, but the other wants to look and smell and feel good about himself. Not wanting to deal with those thoughts, he pushes them away and rinses his body. 

He pops his contacts in with the ease of years of practice and then glances at himself in the mirror. He quickly transfers his gaze elsewhere because he doesn’t like what he sees. A quick brush of his hand across his chin tells him he should probably shave, but he doesn’t feel like bothering that morning. Towel wrapped around his waist, he heads back to his room, all without attracting the attention of anyone else in the house. Once he’s dried and dressed, he heads for the kitchen, hoping to grab a banana for breakfast on his way over. His good luck that morning runs out, however, as he finds Michael at the table, a mug of coffee in one hand and the Mirror in the other.

“What are you doing?”

Nick feels somehow guilty as he crosses the room and plucks a banana from the bunch sitting by the sink. “Getting something to eat.”

“You’re up early, boy.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You in some sort of trouble?”

“No, dad.” Nick ducks his head low as he walks toward the front door. “Gonna go hang out with a couple of the guys.”

He doesn’t wait to hear Michael’s response; he hurries outside, pulling the door closed behind him even though he doesn’t have his keys or wallet with him. He left his window unlatched so he can sneak inside later if he needs to. Nothing is worth talking to Michael again, even though the older man seems to be rather complacent that morning. Nick knows that passive attitude could disappear in a heartbeat, and he doesn’t want to be around if something bad happens. He hopes Ava gets out, too, but he knows she isn’t normally Michael’s target. If he lays one hand on her, then he’s gonna get some hands on him, Nick thinks darkly.

He skulks through town, hands jammed deep in his pockets and expression dark enough to keep anyone from talking to him. The trip over to Mifflin wouldn’t normally take long, but he drags his feet and puts off arriving as long as possible. Still, he can’t avoid getting there forever, and soon, he’s knocking his fist against the door. Sofia lets him in, and he tries to keep from scowling at Sofia’s feminine attire.

“Thanks for coming…”

“Yeah. Let’s get this over with, I guess. What do you need me for?”

“My mom wants to talk to you.”

He follows Sofia inside, where he comes face to face with the mayor and the sheriff, who appraise him. He’s used to adults side-eyeing him, so he thinks nothing of their critical gazes. Instead, he glares at Sofia and asks for an explanation.

“Someone used magic, which activated the hat,” she says. “There were two of you in the room, and we already talked to Ginny. We already talked to her—“

“I coulda saved myself the trip,” he replies. “I don’t have magic, either. Mystery solved. Is that all?”

Regina steps forward and shakes her head. “Nick, was it? I don’t mean to argue—“

“So don’t.” He blanches. His dad would tan his hide for interrupting like that, and she’s got more power than Michael. He shivers as he wonders what sort of punishment someone with magic could come up with.

Rather than reprimand him, however, Regina merely presses onward. “I don’t mean to argue, but you do have magic.”

“What?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t discovered it sooner, to be honest. I could sense you the moment you entered the house.” Regina moves closer still, but he takes a step back.

“I don’t have magic.” He couldn’t have magic, he thinks. If he did, he would have used it to escape Michael. Besides, magic isn’t for men; Michael would be furious with him. Magic was for women and cowards; he didn’t need a crutch to get through his life. Rather than listen to more of this bullshit, he turns abruptly around and sprints for the door. Bile rushes up his throat.

He makes it to the front bushes before he collapses to his knees and pukes. Barely digested banana coats the dirt between his palms, and he struggles to keep from retching more. He doesn’t want this. He can’t have this. The people in that house were lying to him. He wasn’t magical, and he had nothing to do with how the ajatar got to this world.

“Are you okay?”

He balls his hands into fists and sits up. Sofia watches him carefully, and he wants to snap that he’s not fragile—Sofia has no right to look at him with such pity in her gaze. “I’m fine.”

Sofia folds her arms over her chest. She had chosen to go after him because she wanted the ajatar to get home safely—but, as much as she dislikes Nick, she also doesn’t like to see someone in some sort of angst-related pain. He’s a complete dick, but maybe he wouldn’t be one if someone actually tried to help him. She hesitantly says, “You don’t exactly seem fine.”

“What the fuck do you know?”

“Nothing, I guess. But you could tell me?”

Talking doesn’t solve anything, he scoffs. “Nothing to tell.”

“I know you’re pretty disdainful of me being Sofia, but you have no idea how much I didn’t want it to be true for a while. I hated myself because there was some part of myself that wasn’t what I thought it was. But I accepted it, and I’m happier now that I can just accept who I am.” She isn’t so sure this is true, based on her morning so far, but doubting in front of him will only make her feel worse.

“Don’t you dare say that this is anything like your weird—“

“I’m not weird. I’m also only so willing to let you abuse me because you don’t feel good about yourself. Guess what—you have magic. You hating it won’t change it.”

“I don’t have magic.”

“Actually you do. My mom isn’t wrong very often, and this is her area of expertise.” Sofia squats next to him and sets a hand on his shoulder, which he immediately shrugs off. She gets that he’s not open to having magic, but they don’t have time for him to deal with this in his own time. “You can have your identity crisis later. Right now, we need to figure out your magical signature so we can get the ajatar home. Do this right now, and then you can go home and pretend like none of it happened.”

“Nothing’s stopping me from doing that right now.”

“Whatever, then. Go home.”

He sits in the dirt and stares at the bushes, his throat tight and his stomach still churning. He should do just that, he thinks. But, a traitorous voice whispers internally, what if he does have magic? That would make him special—he’d be worth something more. He could help people, which he does enjoy doing. He tutors math because he’s good at the subject, but he also tutors because he wants other students to improve. He understands his position in life is that of a side character—he’s there to assist more important people accomplish their tasks, but the story will never be about him. This could be his chance.

“What would I have to do?”

“Come back inside and listen to my mom.”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s stopping you?” Sofia recognizes the doubt in his gaze. She, too, has had the rug pulled from under her feet regarding her perception of herself. She wants to tell him it gets easier, but she doesn’t think she’ll sound convincing. Instead she stands and offers him her hand. After a moment of silence, he takes her hand and lets her tug him to his feet.

He wonders what impact this will have on his life. Magic has caused nothing but problems, if Michael’s rants were anything to judge by. Michael preferred the Enchanted Forest; Nick thinks this is because Michael can’t simply walk into the woods with his kids and ditch them when they’re too much to deal with. All the shenanigans around town have been caused by magic, too, and the ajatar is only the most recent magic-related event to disrupt lives. He hopes the two kids that got hurt are recovering okay.

Even if Michael tries to hurt him, he could fight back now, he thinks. He could turn Michael into a slug or something. That form would suit the older man just fine, Nick decides. He hurries after Sofia, who he’s starting to think isn’t going to give up on this whole looking and acting like a girl thing.

“He’s okay,” Sofia tells her parents, gesturing behind her. “We had a talk, and he’s willing to help.”

“You don’t have to,” Regina adds. She knows how frightening the prospect of magic can be—she didn’t want it as a young woman because of how good it felt, and she has a feeling that he’s frightened of having power. She recognizes how his gruff attitude is a cover, as she too had been in his position once. She hopes that she can guide him better than Rumplestiltskin guided her. Magic had been her undoing once upon a time, and she wants magic to simply make his life a little better and easier.

“I know.” He keeps his gaze averted and his hands in his pockets. His shoulders are by his ears, which lets her know how uncomfortable he is with all of this.

“Do you have any questions?”

He is curious if this is going to hurt, but he refuses to ask any sort of question that will reveal how vulnerable he feels. “Nope.”

“What we need to do is lock on your magical signature so that when we get the scraps of the hat from the manor, we can determine from which world the creature was pulled,” Regina explains. “Because the hat was all but destroyed, your magic is the only way we’ll be able to figure out where to send the beast back to.”

He shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t know how I did it in the first place. You guys know how to send her back, though?”

“We’re going to figure it out. The wonderful thing about magic is that very little is impossible, as long as you’re willing to think and work.”

“That sounds like math,” he says, surprising himself. He flushes and folds his arms over his chest. He doesn’t want to take part in this, he reminds himself. As soon as this whole ajatar mess is over, he gets to ignore that he has magic for the rest of his life.

“It is, in a way, if that helps you understand things. Spells are like equations, and you have to balance everything correctly to get the outcome you need.”

“Makes sense.”

“For now, I’ll focus on teaching you the basics—the multiplication tables, if you will. You won’t need much more for what we’ll be doing later. If you’re interested in magic beyond that, then we can discuss pre-algebra.”

Sofia watches Regina talk to Nick and feels both hopeful and listless. That could have been her, she thinks, if she had been born with magic. The ajatar will likely get home now, but that does little to quell her uneasy feelings. As if sensing discomfort, Karen sets a hand on Sofia’s shoulder and squeezes. Sofia leans against her and wonders if things will ever get easier.


	11. Chapter 11

As Regina continues her discussion with Nick, Sofia realizes that the next step in all of this will be to work with the Hatter. Once they know where the ajatar is from, they’ll need a way to get the beast home, and the Hatter is perhaps the only person in Storybrooke with extensive experience jumping between worlds. Unfortunately, he’s also reclusive, Sofia thinks. The best way to get him to help them is to contact Paige, a task that Sofia doesn’t feel quite up to at the moment.

Emma ruffles Sofia’s hair and frowns when Sofia doesn’t even bother to push her away—unusual behavior for her daughter, she notes with some concern. “Why the long face, kid?”

“Sofia and Nick aren’t exactly best friends,” Karen replies. She ignores Sofia’s threatening glare. “Nick isn’t the nicest to her at school—“

“But we’re working it out in our own way,” Sofia interrupts. She doesn’t need Emma fighting her battles for her, and Emma has already threatened to pulverize whosoever dares to set foot out of line with regards to her.

“Oh?” Emma leans closer. “Like what’s he done?”

“Nothing—“

“He calls Sofia Henry still.”

Emma glances over at the young man still chatting with Regina. “Oh, yeah?”

“Ma, it’s okay.” Sofia swallows past the lump in her throat. “It’s not worth fighting about. We’re working it out on our own.”

“Kid—“

“Please don’t embarrass me.”

Emma grimaces. “Yeah, okay. Fine. I know, you gotta do this for yourself. But just know that I will hit him with the best threats you’ve ever heard if you give me the signal.”

Sofia meets Emma’s gaze—maybe, she thinks, Emma doesn’t dislike her and what she’s doing. Maybe Emma does support her. “Thanks, Ma. But I’ve got this.”

Sighing, Karen lifts her hands to shoulder height and shakes her head. “I was just trying to help.”

“If you wanted to help, all you had to do was call Paige and tell her we need her to talk to her dad.” Sofia smiles at Karen, hoping her little ploy will actually work. She will talk to Paige eventually, she thinks—she just doesn’t feel like it right now. Right now, all she feels like doing is going back to bed for a couple hours, a day tops.

“Oh, no. That’s your job, and you know it.” Karen lifts her hands defensively. “I’m not getting in the middle of this. I’m, like, on the sidelines at a basketball game, but instead of two teams, it’s you two, and instead of basketball, it’s the magnificent dance known as puppy love.”

“Karen…”

“Okay, so maybe love is too strong a word. Puppy infatuation?”

“Karen.”

“Puppy-I-think-you’re-cute-but-I’m-not-brave-enough-to—“

“Karen, this isn’t about being brave.”

“Puppy—“

“Enough.” Sofia lifts a hand. “I’ll call her. Just… just stop that.”

“That’s fair.” Karen transfers her curious gaze to Nick, who looks both interested and worried by whatever Regina has told him. He’s lifted his hands and is focusing quite intently on his empty palms. She thinks he looks a bit constipated, but she doesn’t want to say anything because she does recognize that whatever is going on is actually important.

Sofia digs her phone out once again, hesitates for several seconds, and then dials Paige’s number, which she knows by heart. Unlike her previous communications, this call gets an immediate response. She stutters, not ready for Paige so quickly.

“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until a little later. I mean, I totally am glad to hear from you. Of course. But there’s a lot going on, and I would have understood… Uh… I mean, good morning, Sofia.”

“Good morning. I have a favor to ask you.”

“A favor?”

“So, it turns out that Nick has magic and not Ginny, but he’s willing to help. My mom is working with him right now to sorta, I don’t know… figure it out? I don’t know. But sooner or later, we’re going to need to make a way for the ajatar to get home…”

There’s a pause as Paige puts the pieces together and understands what Sofia’s implying. “You need my dad’s help.”

“Well, yes.”

“So you aren’t calling to talk to me?”

Sofia hedges, feeling badly. “I am calling to talk to you—“

“Because you need me to talk to him.”

“That would be great…”

“I’ll do it on one condition.”

Sofia closes her eyes and braces herself. This could literally be anything, she thinks. She has no idea what Paige might ask of her, which makes her extremely uneasy. She hopes it’s nothing she can’t handle. “What?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“We’re talking right now.”

“No, I mean really talk. Like, one-on-one, in person, about last night. I have something I need to say to you, but I don’t want to do it over the phone.”

“I—“

“You can’t just say you’ll do it, either. Before I talk to my dad, you have to talk to me.”

Sofia looks to Karen, who flashes her a thumbs up. There is no avoiding this, she decides, so she sighs and acquiesces. “Okay. When and where?”

“I can be over in a few minutes. Just meet me out front.”

“Really? Right now?”

“Believe me, it’s gotta be now. Please.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll be out front in ten minutes.”

“Great! Thanks, Sofia. And once we talk, we can call my dad together. Sound good?”

“Yeah…” Sofia slouches—she does like Paige, and she does want Paige in her life, but is a bit caught up in other matters. She’ll have the conversation, but she isn’t sure she’ll like the outcome.

If she’s going to meet Paige and talk, Sofia decides she wants to look her best. She leaves Karen with her moms and Nick and heads upstairs to shower quickly and get dressed. Paige will be by soon, so she wastes no time, only hesitating in front of the closet when choosing something to wear. She selects a sundress because although she’s feeling a bit confused and out of sorts about herself, she can still look cute and feminine when facing Paige. Besides, she thinks, she’d rather remind Paige she’s a girl even if she doesn’t particularly feel like one at that moment. The tumult on her mind is frustrating; after years of worrying and understanding and accepting, she hates that suddenly she’s not as certain about herself as she used to be. She knows she’s a girl, but she doesn’t know if she ought to follow through with being Sofia instead of Henry. Storybrooke and her family has enough problems without her transitioning.

Checking her alarm clock, she realizes that Paige is likely outside already and hurries to the front door. She swings around the banister, hoping Regina doesn’t spot her and scold her, and scampers out front, where Paige is indeed waiting for her. She slows her gait and approaches as if there’s nothing about this situation that make her at all uncomfortable. She misses the times when she could be completely at ease with Paige–now, however, she feels like she needs to hide how she’s feeling. Before, Paige would have been the one who picked her back up, but after Paige’s response to her transition, she’s not sure Paige’s apology and explanation can make her trust once more.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Paige responds, sounding more out of sorts than Sofia is expecting. Sofia’s glad she’s not the only one a little off balance for this conversation. “You look nice.”

“Thanks.” Sofia reaches up to self-consciously fiddle with a strand of hair, pleased by Paige’s compliment but still on-guard. “So… you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah… About last night…”

“Yeah?”

“That wasn’t fair of me,” Paige eventually spits out. She fidgets uncomfortably as she continues, “You told me that we should wait, but I got caught up in the danger and the excitement, and I didn’t respect what you wanted. I put you in a weird position, and I apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I totally get if you want me to stay away, but we’ve been friends a long time now, and I needed to try. Even if you’re not into me, you’re still the best friend I’ve ever had, and you mean a lot to me. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”

Sofia nibbles on her lower lip—she doesn’t want to let Paige back into her graces so easily, but the walls she erected to keep everyone at arm’s length crumble almost instantly. She offers Paige a hesitant smile. “I do forgive you. I mean, I still, like, need to think, but I really do appreciate the apology.”

“So… are we cool?”

“Very.”

Sofia steps closer when Paige opens her arms, and they nestle together for a brief but heartfelt hug. Sofia closes her eyes and tries to keep from spilling everything. Although she hid her gender identity from Paige for a number of years, she’s used to being completely open and honest in most other regards, and she gets the feeling that Paige genuinely cares about her. She likes that about Paige—someone could be mean to Paige or distant, and Paige would respond with kindness. Jefferson had treated her poorly for years, and still Paige is gentle with her father. Sofia isn’t sure she’d be as benevolent.

“Well, now that that’s sorted… I have to ask. Are you okay?”

“I…”

“Don’t lie to me, Sofia…” Paige pauses. “Do you have a new middle name? Sofia something something Mills.”

“That’s not something I’ve talked to my moms about, yet. An oversight, for sure.” Sofia reluctantly steps back from the hug and meets Paige’s gaze. “So I guess you can call me whatever you want until I figure that out.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Paige repeats. “And don’t sidestep the question. You’re good at that, but I’m not going to let you get away with it.”

“Please?”

“Out with it.”

Sofia hangs her head, as her turn has come to fidget and shift from foot to foot. Paige knows her too well. “I just haven’t been feeling so great today. I had bad dreams, and I just woke up feeling not right. Like… like maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“This?”

“Me.” Sofia drags a hand down her body. “Like maybe I should still be Henry.”

“Is that because you’re a boy, or because everything that happened last night has left you tired and grouchy and upset in general?”

Sofia lifts her gaze. “I mean, last night was pretty bad.”

“Oh, I agree, and I was only there for part of it.”

“I guess that’s it. I know I’m a girl. I know it. I just… wouldn’t it be easier if I wasn’t?”

“Yeah, probably.” Paige shrugs. “I’m not you, and I’m only peripherally affected by this, but, like, if you were Henry, it’d be easier for me because I’d still feel comfortably straight.”

“I thought about that…”

“The thing is, Sofia, easier doesn’t mean better. Who’s to say I wouldn’t meet a girl somewhere down the line who’d do this exact same thing to me? You can only avoid reality for so long, you know?” Paige takes Sofia’s hand and smiles. “You helped me figure myself out a little bit more, and I’m grateful for that. I just want to be here for you, however you need me.”

“Thanks.” Sofia is a little embarrassed to find that tears and trickling down her cheeks. She reaches up quickly to brush them away and sniffles. “It’s been a shitty morning, and nothing bad has even happened.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Just be you,” Sofia answers with a final rub of the tip of her nose. “You’re doing great so far.”

“I try pretty hard to be me. Doesn’t always work, though.” Paige stands a bit taller. Sofia grins at the commentary and feels a smidgeon better about life. Things might be tough, she considers, but she’s glad there’s no feud between her and Paige.

“If you need any assistance with being you, I have a notebook full of suggestions and possible improvements.”

“You can’t improve perfection,” Paige shoots back. “But good try.”

“Oh, ha-ha.”

“But seriously. Whatever you need, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Okay.” Sofia gestures to the door. “We better go inside. There’s still a lot we need to do today, and Karen is probably dying to hear what we were talking about.”

“What do you want to tell her?”

“I don’t really know. She’s a good friend now, so I don’t mind the truth, unless you don’t want her to know.”

Paige shakes her head. “If this had ended poorly, I think I wouldn’t want anyone to know—but I’m pretty happy with how this little conversation turned out, so tell her whatever you want.”

“It would be fun to mess with her,” Sofia ponders as she walks toward the door.

“Didn’t take you long to feel good again.”

“Baby steps. I wouldn’t say I’m ready to tackle another monster in the woods, but I think I can handle a curious friend’s questions with some teasing.”

“Then I’ll let you get interviewed.”

“You can’t just abandon me like that!”

While they bicker, Karen hurries over and clasps her hands in front of her. “Have my parents made up? Are we a family again?”

“Karen, my child, we were never not a family. Sometimes your mothers just have their differences.” Sofia rolls her eyes and adds, “But yeah, everything’s fine. You don’t get two Christmases.”

“Well, that’s a relief because I’m Jewish, and I don’t even want one.”

“Fair enough.” Sofia glances quickly at Paige, flushes, and then hurries to the kitchen just in time to spot Nick looking incredibly surprised by the paint brush that popped into existence in his palm. She’s glad he’s spending time with Regina, she decides. She’s jealous, but she bets that if anyone can teach him to be a better person, it’s her mom.

“Very good,” Regina praises him. She doesn’t like how surprised he seems by her kind words. Something tells her he’s not used to being rewarded for doing things right. She recalls that Michael hadn’t even wanted to take his children back initially, but she had hoped that his distaste for fatherhood would have faded when the curse broke. Instead, she thinks, he reverted to the man who purposely left his children in the woods rather than the one who realized his mistake in abandoning them.

“That’s wasn’t too bad.” He flexes his hands and tries to remember exactly how it felt to wield so much power, even if all the magic resulted in was a brush. He could change things now. He could keep himself from getting hurt ever again, as long as he wants to avoid the pain strongly enough. He meets Regina’s gaze squarely and grins. “So, what’s next? Can you teach me some offensive spells?”

“You’re trying to fly before you can crawl,” she corrects gently. “And if you’re going to learn magic from me, then we need to establish a few rules.”

“Mom?” Sofia interrupts and gestures toward Paige. “Paige is here. Is there anything we can start doing to help out?”

“Good morning, Paige.”

Paige beams at Regina and lifts a hand. “Good morning, Ms. Mills.”

“I take it Sofia has already explained what will need to happen?”

“Yes. I’m going to try and talk to my dad. That’s not always the easiest, though, and I can’t make any promises.”

“Well, his help will make things easier, but we’ll manage without him in any event. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

“I’m sorry he’s sorta… well, him.”

“You don’t need to apologize for your father, my dear. He’s a little different, but most people in this town are. Would you three go see him? You may have better luck contacting him in person rather than by phone. I always found a personal visit garnered faster results from him.”

“He probably won’t be happy. He likes to know when I’m coming over…” Paige trails off. “But we’ll try.”

“Fantastic. Tell him that I’m working with the person who opened the hat portal, and that we should be able to trace the magical signature even though the hat was destroyed. Tell him that he’ll likely need to craft a new hat for us, but that I’ll make it worth his while.”

“You don’t have anything he wants.”

“Let me worry about that.”

“Okay…” Paige turns to Sofia and Karen and sighs. “Let’s go do this, before I change my mind.”

Sensing that this is going to be rough, Sofia links her arm with Paige’s and bumps their shoulders together. “We have to at least try, right?”

“Right.”

“This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.” Karen bursts out the front door and down the walk. “My time to shine has arrived. Hero, thy name is Karen.”

“Uh, Karen… there’s nothing inherently dangerous about walking to downtown and seeing Paige’s dad.”

“First of all, there’s always something weird going on in this town, so it could be dangerous. Secondly, a non-dangerous quest is right up my alley.”

“You’ve got a lot of energy today,” Paige notes. “I assume that means you got more sleep last night than either me or Sofia.”

“Well, no. But it’s hard not to be jazzed when I’m with my friends and we’re doing something important. Pardon my pun, but this isn’t old hat to me yet.” Karen dances a few steps, drawing Sofia’s gaze to her prosthetic foot, which didn’t seem to slow Karen down at all. “Not to mention you two are good again, so that’s great, too.”

“I’m pretty glad about that myself.” Paige hurries after Karen but shares a shy smile with Sofia before she does so.

Sofia chases the duo down, and they chatter as they walk through the streets of Storybrooke. She feels normal again, she realizes. There’s a monster in the woods and her mom is helping her arch-nemesis, but talking to her friends and goofing off in the midday sun makes her feel like nothing is wrong in the world. She knows she’ll probably feel a bit off sometime soon, but she hopes she’ll remember then what she understands now: nothing has to be perfect to feel okay.

Her incline in mood, however, seems to be an inversion of Paige’s decline. The other girl slows her pace as they near the haberdashery, and she looks a moment away from bolting, so Sofia puts a hand on her shoulder.

“If you want to wait outside, I can try to talk to him myself.”

Paige nibbles on her lower lip. “You guys have to promise not to judge, okay? He’s… he’s trying. I think.”

“We won’t judge. I promise.” Karen lifts a solemn hand. “No matter what.”

“Did you want us to wait outside?”

“No, I’d rather you were with me. I just… He’s my dad, and I love him, but he’s not exactly all there.”

“I think that describes pretty much everyone in Storybrooke,” Karen jokes. She sobers quickly and sets a hand on Paige’s shoulder. “But honestly, we’re here for you, okay?”

Paige hugs them both, holds tight for several seconds, and then releases with a sharp intake of breath. Sofia understands the hesitation, even if she hasn’t been through exactly the same situation. Still, she had shown up on Emma’s doorstep all those years ago, unsure of how her birth mother would react. She had been nervous but determined, which she hopes is the case for Paige right now. If Paige is sad and defeated, then she’ll feel awful about making Paige go through with this.

“Ready?” Paige glances back at her, and she sets a hand on Paige’s lower back. “Let’s do this.”

Paige knocks three times and waits. Sofia can hear movement in the small apartment over the shop, but the door remains shut and no reply is forthcoming. Paige stares at the ground until Sofia gives her a gentle nudge.

“Try saying something to him.”

“Like what? He doesn’t want to see me—“

“He might not know it’s you out here.”

“He knows…”

Sofia knocks again, frustrated that someone could make Paige so uncertain. This time, she hollers, “Mr. Hatter, we know you’re in there. Either open up, or we stand out here all day knocking and making noise.”

“Dad,” Paige adds, her voice small at first. “I know you need space and all, but we need your help. There was a problem at the mansion, and you’re the only one who can fix it.”

For several long, painful moments, the door remains shut. Paige shakes her head, her lower lip trembling. She mutters that this had been a massive waste of time, but Sofia raps her knuckles again.

“What do you want?”

The voice draws Paige back to the door, her hands clasped behind her back. Sofia notes that her expression is still taut and drawn. This isn’t going to be easy on Paige, no matter the outcome, and Sofia dislikes seeing Paige so disturbed.

“Help,” Paige replies. “And then we’ll leave you alone.”

“Help with what?”

“First, you could open the door.” Karen leans against the doorframe. She exchanges a look with Sofia before jiggling the knob. “Or we could keep shouting at each other so the neighbors all know what’s up.”

The door creaks open. “Help with what?”

“Can we come in?”

Jefferson eases out and shuts the door. His gaze flickers uneasily from Karen’s face to Sofia’s and then finally to Paige’s. “I’d prefer we talked out here.”

Sofia restrains her urge to throttle him. He could at least pretend to be happy to see his daughter, she thinks darkly. Still, that’s neither here nor there with relation to their current mission, so she refocuses her attention. “Fine. My moms need your help. There was a party at your old mansion outside of town, and one of the party-goers knocked a hat over.”

“So?”

“So, apparently he had magic, and he released this creature thing out in the woods. An ajatar.”

Jefferson’s face remains blank. “So?”

“You’re the only one in town who’s an expert on portals.” Paige tentatively places her hand on Jefferson’s lower arm. “We need to get the ajatar home, but we need you to help us make a portal.”

“Just kill it and move on. There’s no need to mess about with portals.”

“We wouldn’t have come here if we didn’t think this was the best course of action.” Sofia smiles at Karen, who nods fervently. None of them have any interest in attacking or harming the ajatar, and she hopes Jefferson will understand.

Paige’s lips wobble unsteadily as Jefferson contemplates their request. Sofia watches as Jefferson tacitly avoids looking at his daughter and how he keeps touching the doorknob behind his back. He isn’t trying to escape, she thinks. He seems to be trying to ground himself, an impetus she well understands. She wonders if Jefferson feels like aspects of his life are out of his control—if he pushes Paige away because she’s just one more factor that he can’t account for and therefore can’t handle.

“We need you to come see my mom,” she urges him quietly.

“I shouldn’t.”

“You’re this creature’s one hope of getting home. I bet you know what it feels like to be trapped in a land foreign to you? And to want to go home more than anything? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone or something to help you?”

“Nobody helped me.”

“Then be better. Be the change you want to see in the world.” Sofia scrabbles for something convincing to tell him. Still, she knows she’s not doing too particularly well, and he looks a moment away from returning to his fortress of solitude.

Paige clears her throat and licks her lips. “I know this is awkward, and you’d really rather we weren’t even asking you, but we need you. Once you do this, you can come back here and pretend like it never happened. But please. I haven’t asked you for anything for a long time. Please.”

The repeated please makes him squeeze his eyes shut. With a grimace, he nods. “Fine.”

“Great.” Karen nabs his arm and drags him away from his home. “The sooner we get back to Sofia’s place, the sooner you can come back to your cave.”

“It’s not a cave,” he mutters, jerking his arm out of Karen’s grip. Unamused by her enthusiasm, he chooses to slouch and avoid contact as they walk.

Karen leads the way back to the manor, her good mood only enhanced by their small success. Sofia understands that getting Jefferson to accompany them is only the first step—and if he was resistant to even preliminary inclusion on this caper, then he would likely disengage more than once before the day was done. She assumes he’ll use whatever excuse he can fathom to run away. Still, he is no longer the portal jumper he used to be. He’ll run, but he’ll remain in Storybrooke.

Sofia hopes he wouldn’t just leave his daughter behind. The relationship between Paige and her father is stilted, but even the most awkward of dynamics can be fixed. She thinks briefly of the strife she and Regina had gone through and knows deep down that if Jefferson is willing, the relationship can be salvaged. She glances at Paige, who stares intently at the cracks in the sidewalk. Sympathy courses through her; she knows the feeling of wanting a parent to want her. The thought that Emma might not fully support her haunts her, and she’d do anything to make that confusion dissipate.

Determined to stand by her friend, she links her fingers with Paige and offers the other girl a small, hesitant smile. “You doing okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s okay if you’re not.”

Paige squeezes Sofia’s hand and returns the timid smile. “Well, maybe I’m not perfect. But I won’t break.”

“Y’know,” Sofia ponders, “you didn’t exactly get a chance to enjoy that party before things got a little crazy.”

“So?”

Sofia cringes inwardly, regretting that she said anything at all. On second thought, her idea feels dumb, but she’s started down this path and now feels pressured to finish her offer. “So, maybe we could have another party after all this is over with. Like, me, you, and Karen?”

“I’d like that.” Paige eyes Jefferson. “But first we have to get this taken care of.”


	12. Chapter 12

Regina watches Nick closely, something akin to pride taking up residence in her chest. He’s a quick learner, and he’s hungry for both praise and skill. Although she is willing to teach him, she worries that her influence will corrupt, much in the same way that Rumple’s promise of power and control had led her astray decades prior. She doesn’t want to teach him how easy problem-solving can be when all the answers reside in a flick of a wrist, but he’s smart enough that he’ll figure out what he needs without her input.

“You’re doing well,” she comments, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I should be able to get your signature.”

He hesitates and lets his arms drop to his sides; if she gets his signature, then he won’t be needed here anymore. He may not get along with Sofia, but he likes feeling important, and he’s having fun this morning.

“Yeah, good.”

She squeezes his shoulder and offers him a tentative smile. “Is there something on your mind?”

He wants to tell her, but he isn’t sure what she’ll do with the information. Rather than express his anxieties, he shakes his head. “No. I’m just hungry.”

“Magic does consume a certain amount of energy. That’s to be expected. Would you like something to eat?”

He nods stiffly and follows her into the kitchen, where they find Emma leaning against the counter. The blonde stares out the window, her features drawn and pensive. At Regina’s murmured greeting, she blinks and turns slowly, returning to reality bit by bit.

“How’s the magic going?”

“Well,” Regina replies as she crosses to the fridge. “Nicholas has a good deal of potential.”

“Yeah?” Emma eyes Nick warily, and Nick nearly flinches. He’s seen speculation like that before, and what resulted was never in his favor.

Nick turns his head, uncomfortable with how intense Emma’s examination of him is. There’s something judgmental in her gaze, he thinks, and he hates that. She’s not better than he is, and she has no right standing there like he’s done something wrong. He hasn’t. He folds his arms over his chest and stares back at her again, unwilling to let her see how upset this is making him.

“Emma?”

“Are you so sure teaching him magic is a good idea?”

Regina selects a jar of jelly and glances over her shoulder. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Nick bristles; the implication is, of course, that he’s not good enough for what Regina has to show him.

“This is the kid who’s been bullying our kid.” Despite what Karen hadn’t said earlier, Emma had heard loud and clear that any troubles Sofia had been having stemmed from this boy’s bad behavior. If Nick is suddenly able to wield his magic, things could end up very poorly for her daughter, and Emma is entirely unwilling to let that happen. “So you’re going to teach him how to hurt Sofia even worse?”

“I’m not—“

“We’ve all done things we shouldn’t have,” Regina interrupts Nick. She had been unaware of his part in Sofia’s upset, but dismissing Nick at this point would be foolhardy, both in terms of sending the ajatar home and ensuring his power didn’t turn dark. If she turns her back on him, there’s a chance he’ll give in to his anger, she muses, although she can’t simply tell Emma this now.

“You trust him?”

“I do.” Regina continues on making Nick a sandwich, hoping that her relaxed demeanor will communicate to Emma that this is not an issue to push at the current moment. Later, when they’re alone, she’ll explain herself.

“I’m not a bully,” Nick mutters. If he were, he’d have physically accosted Henry—in his opinion, he’s only been imparting important advice. He isn’t his dad, he thinks, who wouldn’t hesitate to shake him for even looking a little surly. He didn’t do that to Henry, and he wouldn’t.

Emma, who had been calmed by Regina’s cool tone, returns her angry gaze to the young man sitting at the counter. Regina, too, glances at him; while Emma doesn’t intimidate him, he wants Regina to like him, and he falters under her stern gaze. He wonders if maybe he’s been looking at this all wrong and recalls the words his father had slung at him from time to time. He isn’t a bully, he tells himself yet again, but each reiteration feels less and less genuine.

“Regardless of what happened in the past,” Regina says slowly, “we can all act differently in the future. Do you understand?”

He swallows hard and nods. Her message couldn’t have been clearer if she had explicitly threatened him. If he wishes to keep learning magic, he needs to be on his best behavior with Henry. Sighing, he corrects himself. Sofia. The name sounds funny in his mind, but he needs Regina’s attention.

“Yes.”

Regina nods, pleased with this response, and slides a sandwich in front of him. He picks the offering up gingerly and bites down. He’s hungrier than he thought and wolfs the sandwich down in a few seconds. He brushes the crumbs from his lips and flushes as Regina gives him another. He envies Sofia quite a bit in that moment.

Emma watches Regina interact with the young man and grimaces. She suppose she’ll just have to trust Regina’s instincts for the time being, but she swears that if Nick says or does anything to hurt Sofia, she’ll step in, no matter what Regina thinks.

Emma’s frustration is interrupted as the front door bangs open, and the front hall fills with eager chatter. As Sofia bends down to unlace her shoes, Karen laughs loudly, and the sound carries through the open space and echoes. In contrast, Paige is subdued, her smile half-hearted. Behind the girls, Jefferson lingers in the doorway, and Sofia bets he’ll run away at the first sign of trouble. She hates how his behavior is impacting Paige, but she knows that nothing she says or does will do anything more than irritate Jefferson—and they need his help more than Paige needs her meddling.

“We’re home,” she calls. “He’s here.”

Kicking her shoes off, Sofia straightens and brushes the back of her hand against Paige’s arm. She realizes that she feels better when she’s concerned about someone else’s well being. Paige’s smile shifts subtly, and Sofia warms at the genuine happiness she finally spots in Paige’s gaze.

“Wow,” Emma replies as she steps into the hall. She flinches as Regina’s elbow lands on her arm. The brunette silences any further tomfoolery with a glance and directs her attention to Jefferson.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Well…” Jefferson doesn’t lift his gaze, as if something on the floor is incredibly interesting.

“I understand that this must be difficult, so we’ll try to make this quick.” Regina gestures to the kitchen. “I’ve been teaching the caster of the initial spell the basics of control, and we should be able to get his signature without too much trouble.”

Sofia grimaces at the thought of Nick knowing magic. He hasn’t been awful, she ponders, but now he has more tools at his disposal. She refuses to be afraid of her peer, but having been raised around magic users, she’s painfully aware of how much damage one can do, even unintentionally. All Nick has to do is will her harm.

Nick stares at Sofia and feels torn.

He has to admit that this isn’t an area that he’s familiar with. He’s just sort of known he was a boy since he was a kid, and he’s never stopped to think about being anything else. For all his life, including the years he was cursed to be a child, he never once had cause to question—he tries to imagine being a girl and just can’t. Being a girl just feels wrong to him, and he wonders if that’s how Sofia felt before, but about being a boy. He thinks he can empathize, even if he can’t understand.

The other half of him, however, still fears just what might happen to Sofia in the future. He knows what people in this town are capable of, himself included, and he cringes to think of what she might have to endure. But… he frowns as he realizes his behavior isn’t going to help anyone. Whatever he thinks about Sofia or this change in her life is irrelevant.

He can either make her situation worse, losing out on learning magic, or he can back off and finally do something that makes him happy. He jams his hands in his pocket and considers just how badly he wants Regina to teach him. He determines that he’d probably be Sofia’s best friend if that’s what Regina demanded.

Hesitant, he says, “You look nice today, Sofia.”

Sofia blinks at him. “Thank… you…?”

“You’re welcome.”

He stands a little straighter as Regina’s hand lands on his shoulder. She guides him back to the living room, where Jefferson plops onto the couch and glowers. The older man seems to be perpetually unhappy, and Nick isn’t sure exactly what to say. Thankfully, Regina steps in as mediator and tells him what to do in a tone that doesn’t ask for a response.

While Regina leads Nick and Jefferson away, Emma turns her attention to her charges, who stand around her with wide, expectant eyes. When she was Sofia’s age, she was sitting in prison, and her only friend, if she could be called such, was the one guard who sometimes gave her a stick of gum during the latter portion of her pregnancy. Consequently, she isn’t sure how to entertain three seventeen-year-old girls. Thankfully, Sofia doesn’t let her sweat for long.

“Ma convinced Mom to get me a PlayStation for Christmas last year. You guys want to play?”

Karen perks up. “What games you got?”

“Mom doesn’t know, but Ma let me get Until Dawn—“

“Kid!” Emma tails behind them as they head into the basement. “If you say that any louder, then she will know, and we’ll both be in the doghouse.”

“Yeah, right.” Sofia snorts, feeling better and better as the day progresses. “All I have to do is look innocent and claim that you just gave it to me. I didn’t know what it was, Mom! Emma said it got good reviews—“

“Well, it did,” Emma grouses. She envies how easily her kid gets away with everything. Had she the same sort of leeway… She lets the fantasy drift away with a small smile. Her life isn’t bad in any regard, other than magic messing things up every once in a while. She likes to pretend that Regina hassles her, but she enjoys the attention. Regina’s style of caring sometimes comes across as micromanaging, but Emma’s long since come to terms with that.

“What’s it about?”

Karen and Sofia chatter on about the game, but Emma notes Paige still sulking. She sets a hand on the young woman’s shoulder and cocks her head. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.”

Emma remembers saying those exact words to every adult who ever bothered pretending to care about her. When Paige plops onto the couch, Emma sits next to her and, as delicately as she can, asks, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“See, I know you’re used to people believing that or not caring enough to find out what’s really going on, but I’m not like that.”

Paige stares at her. “There’s nothing going on.”

“Okay.” Emma lifts her hands to signal her defeat. “But if something were, I’d totally be available for listening purposes. Unless you really want to play that horror game with them.”

Paige glances at Karen and Sofia, who bicker over the controller. A smile tugs on her lips as she returns her attention to Emma. “I’ll let them handle that.”

“Not your kind of game?”

“I already watched a Let’s Play, so I know what happens.”

“So, you have nothing better to do right now than talk to me, right?”

“When you put it that way…”

“I know this probably doesn’t matter to you, but I had a rough time of it with my parents. Most people here in town didn’t know that because appearances are important to Snow and Charming. But right when the curse broke and they remembered, I had so much anger about the whole situation. In my mind, they weren’t my parents at all. I mean, how could they treat their kid like they did me?” Emma keeps her gaze averted to avoid exerting unnecessary pressure. “It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that the fantasy parents I’d idealized my entire childhood were just dreams, and that the real deal were real people, too.”

Surrendering the controller to Karen, Sofia watches Emma and Paige talk and feels her belly constrict. Why, she wonders, is Emma comfortable having a meaningful conversation with Paige, but not with her?

She glares at Emma and Paige a moment longer before Karen’s delight draws her attention back to the moment. The other girl clutches the controller with one hand and Sofia’s shoulder with the other. Sofia smiles at her, but she feels almost as low as she did earlier that morning. She wonders if this will be a forever sort of thing, where she never feels happy for long.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, totally.” She gestures to the television. “I think we’ve got some horror to live through.”

“Like every day of my life?” Karen snorts. “Bring it on, game. Bring. It. On.”

While Karen starts the game and immediately invests in the action, Sofia casts another glance at her mom and friend. She tenses her jaw and swallows hard as Emma wraps an arm around Paige’s shoulder and gives the young woman an awkward side hug. She considers that her answer to Karen’s question ought to have been a resounding no—she is so not okay that she feels sick to her stomach.

Emma catches her eye and frowns. She turns back to the television and stares resolutely at Karen’s exploration of the tutorial chapter. She’s already played through once, and she knows what will happen, so she’s free to stare blankly. If Karen asks, she’ll know what’s happening, even if she hasn’t seen what directly preceded any given moment.

Rather than Karen trying to get her attention, Sofia is disturbed by Emma’s quiet call. She wants to pretend like nothing’s wrong because she doesn’t want to feel or look like a baby, but when she twists her head, hot and angry tears flood her eyes. Emma stands and stretches her hand out.

“Want to talk about it?”

Sofia paws at her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

Karen pauses the game. “Uh, not to be one of those meddling kids I hear so much about on Saturday morning cartoons, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true, Sof.”

She’ll get Karen back for this transgression, she thinks darkly as she follows Emma up the stairs. Thankfully, Emma doesn’t linger long on the first floor, instead guiding her up to her bedroom, where she snags her pillow and holds it over her belly. She clings to the pillow as though the soft cushion will provide some form of protection, although she understands that Emma would never mean her harm.

“So.”

She purses her lips, refusing to be the first one to say something meaningful because she doesn’t even want to be there right now.

Emma fidgets and rubs the back of her neck. “Want to tell me what’s up?”

“No.”

“We can either do this the easy way, where we have a grown up conversation, or the hard way, which feels more like pulling off my fingernails than talking to my kid. I really want to do this the easy way, Sofia. I love you, and I don’t want this to be painful for either of us.”

“Then don’t make me do it.”

“It’s just a conversation!”

“One that I don’t want to have right now.”

“Well, that’s tough. But things aren’t always going to happen in the order you want them to. You sometimes have to do things you don’t want to do.”

Sofia stares at her, frustration mounting. “You think I don’t know that? You think that every part of my life has been great and the way I wanted it?”

“Kid, I’m not here to argue you with you about your life.”

Sofia feels some of her rage trickle away at the caring in Emma’s eyes. She’s tired, she realizes, and maintaining this much anger is difficult. “Then why are you here?”

“Because my daughter’s upset,” Emma replies quietly, “and I’d be the world’s shittiest parent if I didn’t try to find out why.”

Resolve crumbling, Sofia digs her hands into the pillow and ducks her head. She murmurs, “What were you talking about with Paige?”

“Her father.”

“What about him?”

For a moment, Emma considers making light of the situation with a quip, but she understands that Sofia deserves a real conversation rather than a side-step. “His behavior hurts her, and I wanted her to know that she’s not alone.”

“Because of what you went through with Gram and Gramp?”

“And my foster parents, but yes. A little of that.”

“So you could connect with her?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s the best way to put it.”

“You care about her?”

Finally grasping the basics of Sofia’s upset, Emma takes a seat on the edge of the bed and sets her hand on Sofia’s knee. “I care about her because she’s important to you. It’s easier, too, to be there for someone a little more distant. That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. But… there’s a lot at stake for us two. If I mess things up—“

“I get it,” Sofia interrupts, her eyes downcast.

“I don’t think you do. I learned really young what I needed to do in order to survive. How to make people think I cared about them when all I really cared about was my own safety. I’m not in that position anymore, but I carry that with me. Because of my childhood, I’m able to say the right stuff and do the right things to meet the needs of others. In contrast, though, I never had experience with people I actually loved until I met you. I don’t know what to do when things matter. I—I’m afraid of ruining things.”

“But—“

“I’ve gotten better, and I’m trying,” Emma continues, sure that if she lets Sofia talk, then she’ll never find the right words. “But I’m not perfect. I make mistakes, just like everyone else.”

Sofia sits quietly and thinks. When a few tears trickle down her cheeks, Emma wipes them gently away. There are too many thoughts, and Sofia can’t quite put things into a comprehensible order in her mind. On the one hand, she understands that Emma’s past was littered with emotional pitfalls and lacking experiences. On the other, she’s still upset that Emma wasn’t there for her the way she needed when she needed Emma. Knowing the reason doesn’t erase the pain, she realizes–but understanding Emma’s position does help temper her frustration.

“Thanks for explaining,” she eventually murmurs.

Emma wraps her arm around Sofia’s shoulder. “I owe you a whole lot more than an explanation, but we’ll start there, huh?”

“Emma?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be happier if I was a boy?” Sofia closes her eyes and waits. The long moments of silence that follow her question make her want to squirm, but she resists. Part of her still isn’t sure of Emma’s support. To fill the quiet, she adds, “I know me being me adds a lot of stress and–”

“I’m sorry.” Emma wonders just how many times she’s going to end up saying those few words over the next few years of Sofia’s life. She wishes she were a more perfect individual. “The only thing that would make me happier is if you hadn’t had to go through all of this. You being you is incredibly important to me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Sofia rests against Emma’s side and sighs slowly. “Sometimes I think I’d be happier if I was a boy…”

“I don’t think that’s true. Unhappiness has a way of sneaking in. If you shut a door, it still jimmies its way in through a window.”

“That’s cheerful.”

“I’d be lying to you if I said things get easier and stay easier once you’re out of high school and an adult on your own. I mess things up a lot, but I’m not going to hide the truth from you. Things will sometimes suck.” When Sofia cringes and ducks her head, Emma squeezes her shoulders. “But you’ve got me, and your mom, and those friends of yours in the basement to take some of that suck away.”

0-0-0

Downstairs, Regina watches Nick summon an object with undisguised pride. He’s a quick learner, she notes, although she’s not certain anyone has ever encouraged his interests before. She bets that teaching him will not be difficult, as long as he’s willing to practice–and his interaction with Sofia was promising. If she could change, she thinks with a tight smile, then so could he.

He holds the apple he conjured out to her, and she takes the offering. His expression is fairly blank, but his eyes practically glow with enjoyment. Or magic, she corrects herself. She could be projecting her own interest, but she doubts that interpretation. There’s something heady and irresistible about magic, which makes magic dangerous. She’s going to teach him much better than Rumple taught her, she decides. There will be no painful lessons and no crushing of hearts.

“Well?” She turns her attention to Jefferson, who sits on the couch as if the surface were made of nails rather than stuffing and soft fabric.

He shrugs. “Yeah.”

“You have his signature?”

“Yes.”

“Will you make another hat?”

“Hats here are funny,” he replies and folds his arms over his chest. His tone doesn’t sound positive in the slightest, but she’s sure he’s being dour on purpose.

“Will you try?” she amends.

“I’ll try. Can I go now?”

She wonders if she shouldn’t call for Paige if he’s leaving, but she’s not sure the young woman will enjoy being put on the spot. He removes the choice by standing and awkwardly tipping his head as he leaves.

“Tell my daughter I said good bye.”

She frowns as he disappears down the hallway. In the past, he’d gone through so much to get Paige back, and now, he runs and hides as if the very sight of her makes him ill. She feels a bit responsible for the situation, but she can’t digest what could make someone disregard their child like that. 

Nick folds his arms and huffs. He’s used to such behavior from his dad, but seeing someone else treat their child like that pisses him off. If he knew a bit more magic, he’d definitely make Jefferson’s life more interesting. He leaps back, startled, as sparks flare off his fingertips. The motion draws Regina’s attention, and she frowns at what she sees.

“You have to learn to control your emotions,” she says quietly. “I’m angry, too, but letting the feeling take hold won’t lead to anything good.”

He swallows and tries to slow his racing heart. “I wasn’t going to do anything—“

“You wouldn’t mean to, but if you’re not careful, you might.”

The thought is sobering. He hates his dad sometimes, he thinks, but he wouldn’t want to hurt the older man. Regina’s words, however, make him feel as though he could accidentally brutalize someone. Taking several slow, deep breaths, he nods.

“I get it.”

“Do you?”

He meets her gaze. “I do.”

“Consider that your second lesson.” Her somber expression clears, and he’s gifted a small smile, the glow of which he basks in. “I suppose we should go check on your friend in the woods, hm?”

“Yeah, probably. I hope nobody’s been poking around.”

“I’d hope people would be smarter than that, but this is Storybrooke.”

While he laughs, she pokes her head into the basement stairwell and calls for the girls to come back upstairs. Her eyebrows lift as Emma and Sofia descend from the second floor, and she makes a note to discuss this with Emma later. From Sofia’s ruddy cheeks but positive demeanor, she assumes that the mother-daughter interaction went well. She can’t dwell on her curiosity long, however, as Paige and Karen thunder up the stairs.

“So, what’s up?” Karen shoots a dark look at Nick, who pretends not to notice. “We have a way to get her home?”

After explaining the dull, magical mechanics of Jefferson’s work, Regina herds them into the car. The Benz doesn’t technically have enough seatbelts to fit everyone safely, so she increases the seating in the back to include one more. Nick watches enviously and wonders if he, too, will be able to do that in the future. Emma claims the front seat, leaving the gaggle of children to cram into the newly widened back seat. Sofia surreptitiously ensures that she’ll have the place next to Paige.

Unfortunately, Karen scoots against the window, leaving Nick to sit on Sofia’s other side. Their thighs touch awkwardly, and Sofia silently prays that this car ride will be quick and uneventful. One good interaction between them is hardly enough to erase their troubled history, and being in close quarters won’t help things. He glances at her and smiles hesitantly.

“It’s okay,” she mutters. Regina converses with Emma, which means neither adult will be paying attention to their chatter in the back. “She’s not watching. You can stop acting.”

He understands her cold tone, but he finds that he wishes she were a bit more open to his shaky first attempts at friendship. If she isn’t willing to play nice with him, he wonders if Regina will still teach him. “I’m not acting. I was a jerk, and I don’t want to be anymore.”

She blinks slowly, still unsure. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

She scrutinizes him, as if his face might belie his words. Her attention shifts suddenly as Paige’s knee knocks against hers. The other girl looks tired and sad, and Sofia can relate. She flushes as Paige’s hand brushes against hers. The morning has been full of emotional turmoil for more than one of them, she realizes, and she regrets not being more available. She’ll be present in the future, she decides, and she’ll make sure Paige knows she can be counted on.


	13. Chapter 13

Standing in front of the mirror, Sofia turns one way and then the other. She likes the way her jeans fit and the fabric her shirt is made of. She has to admit that allowing Regina some control over her wardrobe benefits her, as she’ll never have a shortage of something cute to wear, even if she has the embarrassing task of admitting her mom helps dress her. Eventually, she’ll have a better grasp on what works for her and what doesn’t, but for the time being, she’s silently willing to let Regina do this for her. She recognizes her mother’s good intentions, anyway, and she really can’t complain about the new clothing she’s been gifted. Seeing herself like this almost erases the sour feelings that came up that weekend, although they linger in her mouth, like they were some rancid food she’d eaten, and not even brushing her teeth or eating a mint will remove the taste.

“Sofia, are you ready for school?”

She fiddles with her blouse a moment more and tweaks a few strands of her hair. With a small smile, she slings her backpack onto her shoulder and stampedes down to the first floor, where Regina waits with car keys dangling and bagged lunch outstretched. Sofia snags the lunch and hopes that Emma threw in something awesome for dessert. While Regina allows her to eat what she wants in moderation, Emma is more prone to go overboard–and she thinks both parents will be less stringent after recent events.

“I don’t need a ride…”

“I know, but I thought I’d offer. I haven’t had a lot of one-on-one time with you since before.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sofia shifts her backpack and her feet and then nods. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

Together, they walk out to the Benz, and Sofia slides into the passenger seat. For a few minutes, Sofia sits in silence. She knows Regina shoots her several pointed looks that suggest there’s a conversation Regina wants to have, but Sofia still sort of wants to process on her own. There’s a lot going on in her life, she considers, and almost none of it is in her direct control. The scariest is the reaction of her peers to her transition, and there’s nothing she can do about that except pretend like they don’t intimidate her. She’s glad Regina raised her with a healthy sense of self-importance, otherwise she isn’t sure she’d know how to handle feeling badly but exhibiting strength.

“That blouse really suits you, sweetheart.”

“Thanks.” She flushes and fiddles with the garment once more. “It’s really nice. You didn’t have to…”

“If I’d known you were interested in fashion before, I would have offered you a new wardrobe earlier.”

“I mean, I don’t think I would have accepted. I wasn’t… Well, I’m not really into men’s clothing, and I wouldn’t have asked for girl’s.” She leans against the window and watches the passing scenery.

“If it’s your clothing, then it’s girl clothing,” Regina replies hesitantly.

Sofia’s doesn’t try to stop the smile that tugs on her lips. “Where’d you read that?”

“The internet.”

“I bet Ma regrets teaching you how to use the computer so efficiently.”

She rolls her eyes. “I knew how to use the computer before she arrived.”

“So all those hours she spent hovering behind you, showing you how to do certain things?”

Regina tilts her head up. “She likes to feel important, and I like to indulge her.”

“Are you…”

“What?”

“Are you just indulging me?” Sofia’s body stiffens as she waits for a response.

As Regina pulls to the curb and parks, she leans over and cups Sofia’s cheek. “Of course not.”

Sofia searches Regina’s gaze and then nods. “Okay. Thanks, Mom.”

“Have a good day at school.”

She isn’t sure how she’s going to focus on classes when she knows the ajatar is just waiting out in the woods, alone and scared, but she smiles agreeably anyway. “Totally. You have a good day at work.”

With a parting ‘I love you,’ she leaves the car and approaches the school. Unlike the week prior, she feels much more confident. She can take on a strange monster and win. She can handle the bullies and the homework and the teachers, and if she can’t, she knows both Emma and Regina are behind her. Shifting her backpack higher on her shoulders, she pushes the front entrance open and heads for her locker. As far as she can tell, nobody is paying her any mind, which is just how she likes it.

“Sofia!”

She grins as Karen screeches to a halt beside her locker. The other girl rambles at length about how little sleep she got the night before, and Sofia enjoys the prattle while she gets her books for first period. Unlike Karen, she’d gotten a decent night’s sleep, and she’s ready for whatever the day can throw at her.

“It’s just weird,” Karen concludes. “Like, I’m sure you’re used to all of this, but I’m not. This sort of stuff doesn’t happen to me.”

“Your foot?”

“Well, yeah. But that doesn’t count. I swear he tricked me into doing it.”

Aware of her grandfather’s penchant for causing mayhem, Sofia can’t dispute that claim, although she truly hopes that isn’t the case. She doesn’t want her family to be responsible for causing her friend any pain. “I’m pretty sure you’ll figure out how not so fun it can be.”

“Yeah, but not for a while. For now, this is great. Life is exciting.”

Sofia glances at Karen and notices Nick storming down the hallway toward them. She sucks in a deep breath and hopes that the small changes from this weekend remain. If he’s back to being an asshole, she’ll deal with it, she decides, but she really hopes that he’s more pleasant to her than before. She spots Ava behind him and lifts her hand in meek greeting. Ava returns the gesture with a smile.

“Hey, kid,” Ava calls. Nick mutters something akin to a greeting, but Sofia doesn’t catch his exact words, if there were any. “Fun weekend?”

“Something like that.” Sofia stares at Nick. She has no idea what he did or did not tell his sister about what happened at the party, and she doesn’t want to cause problems by saying something she shouldn’t.

“Like I told you. Nothing happened. The party was okay, but then the power went out, and we had to get everyone back to town.”

“And those two that got hurt?”

“They went out in the woods alone. They’re fine.” Nick nudges her, and she stumbles to the side dramatically.

Ava huffs. “Man, I know something’s going on. You’re not jumping down Sofia’s throat.”

He flushes. “Maybe it’s none of your business. She’ll do whatever she wants.”

“Not to interrupt this touching family discussion, but did you want something?” Karen beams at Nick, who frowns grouchily back.

“Just saying good morning.” Nick eyes Sofia again, and Sofia finally understands. The boy in front of her will do anything to continue getting lessons from Regina, including going above and beyond to be friendly with her. She feels a weight lifting from her shoulders—even if his kindness is forced, she appreciates that there’s one less thing she needs to deal with.

“Good morning,” she returns. “Ready for first period?”

“Sorta.” He shrugs, digging his hands into his pockets and looking less than honest. “With the party this weekend, I didn’t exactly do my homework.”

She laughs. “To be honest, if it weren’t for my mom being so uptight about school work, I wouldn’t have done mine, either. But when we got home last night, she insisted I do the rest of mine. I’d rather have been playing video games.”

“Which game?”

“I’ve been working on Until Dawn.”

“That one’s pretty good, at least from the Let’s Plays I watched.”

“Ever played it yourself?”

“Don’t have a platform.”

“You could come over sometime, if you wanted. To try it.” She shifts uncomfortably. When he’s not being an asshole, he seems somewhat decent, and she’s willing to try if he is.

“That’d be cool.”

“Can I come, too?” Karen hangs on Sofia’s shoulder. “You keep things interesting, Sof.”

“Yeah, sure. Ava, you interested?”

Ava waves her hand and shakes her head. “You kids’ll have more fun without me around. Besides, someone has to help Dad in the shop.”

Nick ducks his head. “I said I would—“

“You know how shitty that would turn out.”

“But…” He glances at their audience. “Okay. But I’ll pay you back sometime.”

She ruffles his hair and turns to walk away. “Kid, that’s what siblings are for.”

“Want to talk about it?” Sofia takes a step closer, but Nick backs away.

“No. Nothing to talk about. Your family might not mind the whole town gossiping about it, but mine doesn’t need to air its dirty laundry for your curiosity.” He stares at the ground and fidgets. “Look, don’t tell your mom, okay? I didn’t mean to say all that.”

“I won’t tell her,” Sofia promises. “It’s not my place. You’re still welcome to play video games with me any time, okay?”

As Nick shuffles away, Sofia takes a moment to ponder how far their relationship has come in less than a week. He isn’t perfect, but she doesn’t expect him, or anyone else for that matter, to be perfect. At the very least, he isn’t actively bullying her anymore, so Emma can stop worrying about her at school. The bell rings, and she grabs her stuff from her locker–she ought to worry herself, or her grades will start to suffer, she thinks with a grin. As soon as her pack is on her back, Paige and Karen drag her toward class, and she tosses all thoughts of their stressful weekend to the back of her mind.

Mr. Gray watches them enter, his eyebrows raised expectantly. She supposes that she doesn’t have the best record of being punctual to English class, but this time he doesn’t say anything as she slides into her seat and pulls her books from her bag. He begins his lecture on the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and she doodles in the margins of her notebook. She can’t say she enjoys the novel, but the contents are much tamer than her life. In comparison to the ordeals she’s gone through, Huck’s adventures are almost relaxing. If Huck had been kidnapped by Peter Pan, she bets he would have chosen to stay with the Lost Boys forever. She decides that there are too many stories about male characters who refuse to grow up.

Her doodles take more form as she imagines a story where trans girl Huckleberry escapes the clutches of her Bible-thumping aunt, who forces her to dress like a respectable boy, and heads for a more accepting North. She likes that image–a clever, tomboy with an attitude and no fears demanding to be taken as she is.

“Ms. Mills?”

She jerks upright and stares at Mr. Gray. “Yes?”

“Did you answer the discussion questions for chapter four?”

She flips the page back in her notebook and proceeds to answer. There are quiet murmurs behind her, but she ignores them. Mr. Gray didn’t stop them before, and she doubts he’ll do anything about them now. Instead, she’ll steadfastly pretend like she doesn’t hear them, and that way, they won’t get what they want from her. She holds her head high until he’s done putting her on the spot. Although she’d been a fairly good student before coming out, she feels additional pressure now to succeed.

Sighing, she returns to her daydreams and ponders which other classic literary heroes would have been more interesting to read about if they were trans. The class had read Wuthering Heights not long before, and she imagines the windswept ghost story as being about a dirty homeless boy designated female at birth who was adopted by the Earnshaw family; Heathcliff would grow especially close to Catherine, in whom he would confide his deepest secret: that he was truly a boy and he loved her. Societal pressures would keep them apart, but they would reunite eternally. Not the happiest ending, she muses, but still bunches more interesting than the original text.

A balled up piece of paper taps the side of her head, and at first, she ignores the assault. When her neighbor reaches down and places the ball on her desk, she grimaces and unfurls the note. Expecting the worst, she’s pleasantly surprised to find: I love your top!! Where’d you get it? She glances around the room and spots one of the cheerleaders watching her curiously. When the girl points subtly to her blouse, Sofia smiles and jots down a quick response. She makes sure Mr. Gray has his back turned and tosses the note back.

0-0-0

By lunchtime, Sofia feels as though she’s wearing clouds on her feet instead of shoes, and she practically floats down the hallway. While nothing in particular happened beyond the exchanged note, she knows there are people around who support her, even if she doesn’t know them. When she presented as a boy, she had never been this at home in her body, and she realizes with glee that even if things are a bit harder, she’s much happier than she was before. She wishes she could bottle this feeling for later, for the moments when she didn’t recognize how valid she was or for days when she hates how different she is.

So enraptured with her happiness is she that noticing Paige’s downcast expression takes a full two minutes. She pauses in her excited explanation of the note and stares until Paige shifts uncomfortably under her scrutiny. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Paige attempts a smile, but her eyes remain flat.

“You don’t seem fine.” Sofia leans closer and lowers her voice. “Is this about your dad?”

“I said I’m fine.”

“I know. But I would have said the same thing weeks ago when nobody knew I was a girl.”

Paige rests her cheek in one palm. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk about it right now. Is that okay?”

Understanding that they’re in a public place and that gossip flies quickly around the school, Sofia shrugs. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

“I don’t mean to ice you out–”

“I know better than anyone how it feels to need a bit of privacy about personal things.” She offers Paige a smile. “But I’m here if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks.”

“So, did you look at our biology homework for next week? I read the chapter, but I don’t think I understood like any of it.”

Sofia determines that Paige is grateful for the topic shift, as Paige’s shoulders relax and her expression lightens. 

“I agree.”

Sofia laughs as Karen plops down beside them; as the other girl couldn’t have heard their conversation, Karen is obviously bluffing. Karen shrugs and tosses a french fry at Sofia, who dodges and sticks her tongue out. Sofia keeps a close eye on Paige, hoping that the shenanigans will further distract her from whatever is churning in her belly. Thankfully, Paige is grinning, and Sofia feels accomplished.

“That’s dangerous, Karen. You don’t even know what I said.”

“Well, maybe not, but I’d definitely rather get into trouble with you than be boring by myself.” Karen turns to Paige. “So, what’s with the long face?”

“There’s no long face–”

“Maybe not now, but like two minutes ago, I could definitely spot a little rain cloud hovering over your head, even from across the cafeteria.”

Sofia gently socks Karen’s shoulder. “We’re going to talk about it later, okay?”

“Oh! Mum’s the word. Hush-hush, that sort of thing.”

Rolling her eyes, Sofia nods. “Exactly. But if you have something you want to talk about, we won’t stop you.”

“How about Nick’s new attitude? He’s pretty desperate for your mom’s attention.”

“I don’t care what caused it, honestly. I’m just glad I don’t have to watch out for him. He sorta seemed like a time bomb before, y’know? Like he was always on the brink of going too far.”

“I got that sense, too,” Paige puts in. “But now, he’s more relaxed. Your mom must be a miracle worker.”

Pride fills Sofia’s chest; for years, she’d been afraid that Regina would only be seen by the townsfolk as the Evil Queen, even though she knew there was so much more to her mother. After coming out and receiving Regina’s unfaltering support, she had cemented her belief that Regina was in no way the same woman who had cursed everyone to this world.

“I hope she is,” Sofia finally responds, “because if Jefferson can’t get a hat put together, we might need a miracle to get the ajatar home.”

“He’ll get it done.” Paige stares down at her hands.

“Totally. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Besides, a mythical creature isn’t the weirdest thing to happen to this town, so if the ajatar has to stay, I think we’ll all learn to cope.”

Sofia snorts. “I like the attitude, Karen, but I don’t think the ajatar would be too happy about being permanently ripped away from her home.”

“I’m just saying.”

“I know.”

“My dad’ll get it done. And then it’ll be over, and things will go back to the way they were.”

While Karen bemoans how boring Storybrooke will be again, Sofia wonders how her life will be when there’s nothing new to focus on but her gender identity. She’s heard the monster rumors flying about the hallways of the school, as they replaced the quiet mutterings about how she dressed–once the ajatar is safely whisked back home, she’ll likely become the most interesting topic of discussion. She swallows hard and closes her eyes for a moment to block out the cacophony of the lunch room. Although she doesn’t like what Regina did as a younger woman, she appreciates the flair with which Regina did them. She’s going to channel that spirit, she decides. Let them talk–she’s not going to change or falter.

“I think a bit of calm will be good,” she announces as she digs into her lunch. “We can just be kids, like everyone else.”

Karen continues with her melodrama, but Sofia tunes the enthusiastic ranting out. This is Karen’s way of trying to help keep Paige’s spirits up, so she doesn’t feel like she has to contribute; besides, her thoughts are quickly consumed by the biology chapter she didn’t understand–once the ajatar is gone, she’ll have no excuse for not knowing the material. She groans inwardly and promises to work harder.

After school, Sofia waits by the flagpole with her earbuds. Like this she can observe her peer group without having to listen to the milieu of voices and conversations; she appreciates a bit of distance while she’s thinking, and at the moment, she’s deeply considering what’s eating at Paige. Although the other girl kept her composure during lunch, Sofia hasn’t been able to shake the feeling that something’s horribly wrong. She supposes that most things in her life have never been small problems, but rather earth-shattering crises, but she can’t just assume that’s the way life is for other people. Then again, she’s never seen Paige look so defeated.

She spots Paige heading through the crowd and lifts a hand. Paige smiles back, and Sofia isn’t sure if she’s reading too much into the sadness she detects in the expression.

“Hey.” Paige nervously twists a strand of her hair. “Sorry about being a bit late.”

“You’re not. Karen’s not even here yet, so if you’re late, then she’s super late.”

“Hah…”

Sofia clears her throat and feels awfully awkward. “How was P.E.?”

“Ms. Athens is like the worst. I thought I was going to die, she was pushing us so hard. I mean, seriously. Why does some stupid state standard mean that I have almost have a heart attack to run a mile in under nine minutes?”

“Just imagine if you were a boy. We have to–” Sofia halts her sentence and struggles with the massive lump suddenly residing in her throat. Voice cracking, she amends, “They have to run it faster.”

Paige appraises her for a long moment and then shrugs. “Either way, it’s awful. If I ever get elected into office, I’m changing the rules.”

“Will that be your campaign platform?”

“I’ll be quite popular in the polls, I’m sure.”

“I’d vote for you.”

Paige grins, but her eyes don’t light up like they usually do. “Thanks, Sofia. I’ll remember you when I’m living in the White House.”

“That’s all I ask.” Sofia shifts from foot to foot, wishing there was something she could say or do to help Paige shake this sadness. Then again, she knows better than most how difficult doing so can be. She fiddles with the hem of her shirt. “Well, we can get started on your campaign after we get me through biology this year.”

“I don’t get it. You ace all your other classes. Why is bio so hard?”

“We all have our kryptonite, okay? Mine just happens to be Punnett squares.”

“I bet that’s because you’ve got the world’s most complicated family history. Can you imagine trying to sort through your genes?”

Sofia groans. “Just thinking about thinking about it gives me a headache.”

“How many people in town are you related to?”

“Too many. I mean, at this point, I could be related to the ajatar for all I know.” Sofia laughs. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, so she digs the device out and opens her texts. “It’s from Karen. She says something came up at home, so she can’t meet us. So… I guess it’s just us.”

Paige rubs the back of her neck. “Is it awful that I’m not upset about that? I love Karen, but…”

“But?”

“But I’m also looking forward to spending some time with you. You know… alone.”

Sofia fights the heat in her cheeks and jams her hands in her pockets. She’s seen enough television and movies to know the implications of a statement like that, even if she doesn’t think Paige means it that way. She sorta wants to try being more intimate with Paige, but she also feels a bit too uncomfortable with herself at the moment. Still, she’d rather make an attempt that further make Paige feel worse. “Oh, yeah. Me, too.”

They set off down the street, and Sofia gingerly takes Paige’s hand. She hopes her palms aren’t too sweaty and that Paige doesn’t mind the intrusion. The action garners a slight upturn of Paige’s lips, so she feels like she did something good. This determination is further supported as Paige squeezes her hand gently.

“Do you mind if I ask you a kinda rude question?”

If anyone else were to ask her that, Sofia would have felt threatened; Paige, however, could only mean well, so Sofia nods. “Sure.”

“You accidentally called yourself a boy earlier. Do you feel like one sometimes, too?”

“I’m not a boy,” she replies with a bit more bite than intended.

“I know,” Paige hurries to assure her. “But, I mean, it’s not an overnight change, right?”

Although she wishes it were, Sofia has to admit that’s a valid point. “No, I guess not. And sometimes, I feel boyish, if that makes sense? But it’s more like tomboy-ish than being an actual boy. What I said earlier--it’s just hard to separate myself. I mean, I’m a girl and all, but I was called a boy for my whole life, and like you said, it’s not overnight.”

“Cool.”

“So, there’s no chance I’m going back. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not why I was asking.” Paige squeezes her hand again. “I’m just honestly curious. This is all stuff I’ve never had to think about before.”

“It’s okay. I bet I’ll be asking you some rude questions soon, too.” Sofia gestures for Paige to head up the walkway first and then hurries to unlock the front door. “Like what you’ve been upset about all day today.”

Paige wrinkles her nose. “Can’t we just keep talking about you?”

“I don’t want to force you--”

“I’ll talk. I want to let you in.” Paige nudges her shoes off and then heads for the living room. She sits on the couch and folds her hands in her lap. Sofia notes how she fiddles with her fingers and takes a seat beside her. “I mean, it’s really nothing in comparison with what you’ve been going through--”

“Rule number one is no comparing. This isn’t a competition.”

“Okay.”

“Continue.”

“Do you know what’s going to happen after my dad makes that hat?”

“Well, we’ll use it to get the ajatar home.”

“I mean to my dad.” Paige dips her head lower. “He’ll know that there’s a way to portal hop again. And maybe it won’t happen right away, but sooner or later, he’ll leave me. Again.”

“I hadn’t thought about that. I mean, he’ll have a hat, but he won’t have the power.”

“There’s more than enough magic in Storybrooke that he’ll find a way.”

Sofia frowns. “He wouldn’t, would he?”

“You don’t know him like I do. You saw how he treats me when we’re stuck in the same reality together. Give him his chance, and he’ll run from his problems, just like he always does.”

“Maybe this time he won’t.”

Paige chokes out a laugh and wipes away a few stray tears. “You have no idea how many times I’ve told myself that.”

Sofia sets her hand on Paige’s knees, getting Paige’s attention. Unconsciously, she leans a little closer. “If he leaves, I want you to know that you won’t be alone.”

For several quiet seconds, Paige stares at her. She maintains their eye contact, hoping that Paige knows how sincere she is. Then, ever so slowly, she closes the distance with a kiss.


End file.
